Wow.

You sure are opinionated, when it comes to the eating habits of preschoolers. And many of you are also lurking about, apparently, because then you de-lurk and all hell breaks loose. It's okay--you may return to your former lurkiness. I see you, there in the hedges. Hi! Now you’re waving!

I have learned much from the 400-plus comments on the last post. (Yes, I did read them. Do you think I have anything better to do?) Here are my learnings!

1. Compared to some of your freakish offspring, my child enjoys a healthy variety of foodstuffs. (My favorite is the marshmallows-in-the-Lucky-Charms diet.)

2. The children who eat everything make up for their sophisticated palette by refusing to sleep (thankfully, we don’t have that problem at the Finslippy household).

3.The children who eat everything and sleep well belong to people I don’t want to talk to.

4. I’m kidding about that last part.

5. Forcing your child to eat certain foods will invariably lead to vomiting on the Fiestaware.

6. Not forcing your child to eat certain foods will either result in healthy eating habits or crippling food issues.

7. Many people take the time to comment and only write “Hi!” or its more formal variation, “Hello!”

8. Many people who read Finslippy live in my neighborhood, and are watching, ever watching. And that's fine! Excuse me while I lower my shades!

No, seriously, I liked all the comments! I did! I felt all popular and stuff. I wanted to mail all the comments I got to my junior-high tormentor who would send me threatening notes in Social Studies. YOUR UGLY MEET ME AFTER SCHOOL SO I CAN BEAT YOU UP. (If you’re going to spell it out for me like that, you think I’m going to show up? NO THANK YOU I AM GOING HOME TO WATCH THE LITTLE RASCALS AND EAT CHEESE SANDWICHES.) I don't know if she can receive mail at her mobile home, though, HA HA HA HA HA.

Who am I kidding. She's probably rich and her kid eats kimchee and octopus.

Anyway, I have a newfound appreciation of my son’s dietary habits, and smile tolerantly instead of screaming intolerantly when he squawks in horror at the sight of nutrition. He’s not eating any better, but I sure as hell am drinking more. And that works for me.

Comments

[Vanessa]

Loved your posts! And related to some of them, being a mom myself. Don't worry, I'm not lurking, I live very far away, in Brazil... Just really, really admired your texts. Congratulations.Oh, and since you're talking about eating habbits vs. sleeping in your item 2, I totally agree. My son eats everything you put in front of him (he even tries different combinations of things we may have in the fridge, such as Jell-O with olives...). But he hates SLEEPING. He might be about to collapse, really tired, but he WON'T sleep... Go figure!

[Hava]

Our 3yo really enjoys the book, "I Will Never Not Ever Eat A Tomato." It hasn't gotten her to try new foods, but we do have fun making up new names for all the old foods.

[Ally]

My parents and I have had these family friends forever...I've always known them as Jean and Sam. Don't know their last name. They have a son, named Mike, who eats NOTHING. no. like really. like when he was...10? 9? something like that. he came over to our house with his parents for a barbeque. We were having shishkabobs and other good stuff, and my mom offered to make Mike a hot dog instead of the shishkabobs because she knew he doesn't like lots of foods, and Jean said "Oh, that's a great idea! Maybe if he sees your kids eating them, he'll eat them too!"

He wouldn't eat hot dogs. When he was 9. I think he lived on cheese nips.

Your kid is fine.

[Susan]

Drinking makes it all better. I can say that from personal experience. This afternoon, even.

Have a martini before each meal and you won't give a damn if Henry ever eats again.

[pea]

Shoot, I don't have any kids with which to compare eating habits. Though, when *I* was a kid, I used to put ketchup on HAM and MASHED POTATOES and I now know how very wrong that was. My sister still won't stop drinking milk with her spaghetti, so we all don't learn that well.

Also, Hi!

[Sassy8877]

I fed mine easy mac & cheese for the first two years of her fundamental life ... yes you read right! I didn't even take the time to go through boiling water for her dinner, she wanted EASY mac and by gone I gave it to her. You will be glad to know that she now loves salads and veggies and never snubs food. She is of a healthy weight and doing well academically.

Go figure.

Make your kid happy - they only get to be a kid once in their life :)

[Leah]

I have to admit I was in the south slope the other day (usually I'm out of state) and I was like "I wonder if I'll see Alice? That would be so cool." But I don't know where you live or anything, and I'm about to go back to Virginia, so no worries.

[Angela]

Hmmmm...my 3 year-old twins don't really like to eat OR sleep, so you can talk to me! (They'll make great models, I guess...)

[Betsy]

I think I've said this before, but I love every single one of you. I love you, Alice, and I love all of your commentors! God, you guys are funny.

That's all I was going to say, but then I felt funny, like I should at least say *something* about food, even though I am, as yet, childless. So, lemme have at it:

My older sister and I were/are great eaters. Much beloved in family lore is the story of how my parents had a pig roast one year when we were young, and she and I were fighting with each other over the innards, convinced that everything that came out of the pig was yummy, yummy liver. Yeah, you read that right: we were fighting over who got to eat THE LIVER. We still eat everything, to this day. Since my little sister is what could be defined as a "picky eater," I'm aware that this trait might not be passed on to my offspring. I've got my fingers crossed, though, and I'm stacking the deck by marrying a liberal eater like myself. Knock on wood, dude.

[Jessica]

FinSlippy, I ADORE you -- you are so damn funny it kills me!

When my brother and I were growing up, my mom made things we loved, like "rock burgers" (grilled English muffins with butter and blue cheese dressing and a hamburger patty), "Samantha special" (scrambled eggs mixed with sausage and fried potatoes), etc. However, she also made things like "stuffed green bellpeppers" and "fried liver and onions". Blech. My brother and I would invariably be left at the table until we finished and then we would play look out for one another and shove our food in the garbage disposal. They never knew. I told my mom when I was in my 20's what we used to do and she was shocked. Shocked I tell you! So, don't try and force your school age kids to eat certain things -- they will find a way around it, usually wasting all of the food in the process! We did always agree to try everything, but man, some of the stuff she loved to eat was positively vile to a child, and really, even now, I WILL NOT even try stuffed bell peppers as an adult to see if my taste has changed. I've been scarred. I won't even EAT green bellpeppers, in any form, although I love red and yellow bell peppers raw. Oh, and the other thing she used to try to do to fool us into eating healthy was to put spaghetti sauce on string squash and tell us it was spaghetti. I don't know what kinda igits she thinks she was a raisin', but we so did NOT fall for that thinly veiled ruse!

[Nicole]

Delurking now that I know you're actually reading all these comments.

Except that I am one of those with whom you don't wish to speak, as I have a girl child who eats most things and sleeps pretty darn well too.

Back into hiding I go...

[Mignon]

Arabella, Oh Smartypants Shopper, can you come find cheap blueberries in my neighborhood? To hell with the kids, I'm the picky one.

[mamasu]

Alice, I was thinking about this and I came up with a new idea for you. This new idea should not be confused with thinking there's anything wrong with the status quo if that's what you like! But anyway, it kind of puts him on the spot when you ask if he wants to try it, and now he's built a pattern of saying no, he can't back down. And what if he tries it and hates it? So here's my idea:"Yeah, I like it, you can try some if you want. If you don't like it you can spit it out into the trash can."He might taste something and spit it out 5 or 10 times, but eventually, (if you play it real cool) maybe he'll try swallowing something. (And if not, he'll surely absorb some trace nutrients just from having it in his mouth.)

[alice]

No more advice! Please!