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Let's Panic: The Book!

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How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant
who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain,
and Finally Turn You
into a Worthwhile
Human Being.

Written by Alice Bradley and Eden Kennedy

Some Books
I'm In...

Sleep Is
For The Weak

Chicago Review Press

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Let's Panic

The site that inspired the book!

At LET'S PANIC ABOUT BABIES, Eden Kennedy and I share our hard-won wisdom and tell you exactly what to think and feel and do, whether you're about to have a baby or already did and don't know what to do with it. → 

« I am so out of my league, here. | Main | What happens. »

Why I am not a poet.

I will arise and go now, and go to Innisfree,

And a small cabin built there, of clay and wattles made;

Although I'm not entirely clear on what wattles are,

It just seems like a fun idea, me in a bee-loud glade

Nine bean rows will I have there –wait, what's with all the bees?

And nine rows seems like a lot, when three will probably do just fine

I mean, it's only me, am I right, and here a rhyming word would be "peas"

Although I'm not planting peas. Maybe some cilantro.

On second thought I'll go in a minute, in a little while I'll go to Innisfree

As soon as I do that other stuff I have to do.

I have to make some calls.


Two roads diverged in a yellow wood

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it got sort of dark and weird with this undergrowth

Then checked out the other, which seemed just as fair

And now that I thought about it, had perhaps the better claim

Because it was grassy and wanted wear

But as for that, why was no one walking down there?

Is there something I should know about?

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black

Oh I kept them both for another day

You would think these roads would be marked somehow!

Or there would be a map or whatever


Because I could not stop for Death,

He kindly stopped for me—

I screamed and ran away, because have you ever seen Death?

With the skull-head and giant scythe?

No thanks, Death, I'll walk

p.s. Wonderland here.

Reader Comments (43)

I hear you in my deep heart's core...I love this for a Monday.Bravo...
March 12, 2007 | Unregistered Commentercce
Ahhhh I was so fed up and then I read these and they cheered me up no end......cheers!
March 12, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterbirchsprite
Oh my -- the first poem happens to be my FAVORITE of all time -- though your revisions make it even better.

HA! "what's with all the bees" I'm so going to giggle about that the rest of the day.
March 12, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterPatricia
That was the highlight of my morning! I shall pass along the link to all of my fellow English major geek friends.
March 12, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterJane
Oh, well done! So well done.
March 12, 2007 | Unregistered Commentertuckova
I went to Girl Scout camp for several, several, way too many, years. Anyway, one of the camping units was called Innisfree so I am now well versed in that poem and can sing it.

Come to think of it a good title of that would be "Why I shouldn't be allowed to sing. Ever"
March 12, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterHeather B.
Fantastic. Thanks for the all-day smiles.
March 12, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterAmy at Fannfare
A woodland treasure sounds complete!Oh, quiet moments, except for beeswho hum-so soothingly along.A spring ish delicate little song.

The cabin, hushed and quaint.With coffee, internet. A chance to paintthe scenery surround. And, plant!Cilanto instead of beans supplant.

If you shall go to InnisfreeWe'll excuse your absence andwait for the.Just give occasional notes (on the side, of course)lest we be filled with blogging remorse!
March 12, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterJen
except that should have been "wait for THEE"Two "e's"*note to self-re read, re read!!*
March 12, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterJen
Oh my, now THAT'S how I like to start the week.

Thanks, Finslippy!
March 12, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterelise
I love you even more now.
March 12, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterJB
Brilliant. Just brilliant.
March 12, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterthemikestand
Wow!! Go Alice......and Go Jen!!!
March 12, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterBlaine
What's with all the bees...chortle. =) There's (or was - they've broken up, I think) a wonderful sorta-Celtic band out of Houston (in their words, "that great Scottish metropolis of the south") called Clandestine, who did a fabulous spooky minor-key interpretation of "Innisfree." It made the back of your neck tingle, and made you wonder what was buried out under those nine innocent-looking bean rows.

Well done!
March 12, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterKristin
YESSSSSS! Good work.
March 12, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterSonja
These were a lot of fun to read. A great way to beat the Monday blahs.

March 12, 2007 | Unregistered Commenteremily
finslippy:get a do many things wellbut poems you'll not sell.
March 12, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterslouching mom
You. You are hilarious. And brilliant. Brilliantly hilarious!
March 12, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterodd dotty
you talk pretty. long time.
March 12, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMike
hahahah! You are a genius! Here is a little bee poem for you (it's not mine):

The little bee is a busy soulHe has no time for birth controlAnd that is whyin times like thesethere are so many sons of bees.
March 12, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterlizardek
and I said yes, yes, very funny, yes.
March 12, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterChristine
And this is why I love you.
March 12, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterkerflop
I'm cackling here. It's not pretty.

March 12, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMegs
Hoo Ha ha ha!
March 12, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterkim
My husband just built a wattle in the garden today. No kidding!!

March 12, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

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