What I Did This Weekend, by Alice. Now with pictures!

1. I had all of my hair cut off. I now look like Mia Farrow in “Rosemary’s Baby,” except in the many ways I look completely different from her.

2. While my husband watched the child, my friends and I went to see Sondre Lerche perform at my brother’s record store. I never thought I would think my brother was cooler than me, as I have long felt myself to be the coolest person in the known universe, but there it is. He has a record store in Williamsburg that is frequented by youngsters who wear ironic t-shirts. I have a child who puts Play-Doh in my hair and says “I made you a hat!” and then I forget about the Play-Doh and walk around with the Play-Doh hat until it falls off.

3. I fell utterly in love with Sondre Lerche, a musician you should get to know because he is wondrously talented, not to mention the dreamiest young Norwegian I have ever had the pleasure to ogle.

4. I felt a little gross about loving Sondre Lerche, as he is maybe 21 and I just turned 36. I and my friends were the oldest people at his show. Except for the 50-year-old guy in the front row who also, I think, was there to enjoy Sondre Lerche for more reasons than his music.

5. I was introduced to Sondre Lerche by my brother, who told the Nordic heartthrob, “Could you come say hello to my sister? She never gets out of the house.”

6. Wow! That was embarrassing!

7. I spent the next seven hours giggling inappropriately.

8. The next day it was some kind of anniversary! It was like six years ago or something that I married that guy, what’s-his-name. I call him “Not-Sondre.”

9. No, seriously. I love that guy! We went out for dinner and everything. Our nice friend Debbie watched Henry while we enjoyed Fancy Italian Food and got drunk on a single glass of wine apiece. We are cheap dates. This morning Henry woke up calling out “Debb-eee… Debb-eee…” and was visibly disappointed to find that I was still his mother.

In conclusion, I had a fun weekend. The End.

UPDATED TO ADD:

Okay, okay. You be the judge:

1. Here I am with my Mia Farrow "I can use a camera" expression:

2. Here I am being told that I'm pregnant--with Satan's baby!

3. And here I am with my Satanic toddler, who is jabbing me in the neck with some tiny remnant of a long-ago torn-to-pieces Star Wars toy.

Comments

[lizpenn]

nope, sorry. you are still the coolest person in the known universe, Play-Doh hat and all.

[Torrie]

Um, pictures of the hair please, Mrs. Sondre.

[Tee]

Cracking up about the Play-doh hat! :)

[honestyrain]

tell your brother i said don't be mean. and i bet my play doh hat is cooler than yours....

[Jill Smith]

Tomorrow is another anniversary - the 100th anniversary of Norway's independence from Sweden. Celebrate both however you see fit...

[victoria]

Awwww. Saturday was our anniversary, too (#9).

[kelli]

been lurking for weeks and finally had to tell you...you ARE the coolest person in the universe. it's great to know that a 36-year-old mom who lives in new york has pretty much the same day that this 36-year-old mom in oklahoma has...play doh hat, one glass of wine drunk date and all. happy anniversary!

[Karen, Suburban Mommy Disguise]

Oh yeah, the first day they wake up calling for the babysitter and burst into tears because after all, it's only his mother who comes is a horrible/wonderful moment in parenting. On one hand you have now reached a point where you shouldn't feel guilty about leaving them to go and for some well earned debauchery, on the other hand, your children have apparently come to the conclusion that the world doesn't revolve around you. Sigh.

[LOD]

Happy birthday, I guess.

I also don't leave the house. I live in the most exciting and vibrant place on the planet, and I spend my Friday nights chasing a little naked chimp-boy around the tub.

[Natasha]

From a another (soon to be) 36 year old (6 days more and counting) - we can be just as cool as the kids with the smarmy t-shirts. On top of that we can use more sophisticated language like "smarmy" or "sycophantic" to describe the awesome play doh hats. Hey - we can start a trend! We can make smarmy, ironic play doh hats! My 3 year old twins would LOVE to make them! We should get Henry and my little guys together - they can be the design team! We'll be RICH - RICH I tell you! hahaha

Can you tell I don't get out enough??

Happy Anniversary! - and belated birthday for that matter. THanks for the giggles. As always, Alice, you bring a smile to my face!

[mainja]

really, there is little better to do with a day than fill it with inappropriate giggling?

[Ninotchka]

Happy Anniversary! lol Every post you write makes me laugh. Well, except for the ones that make me cry. Seriously, though, how your brother introduced you was hilarious. And the "Debb-eee...Debb-ee" thing.

[clickmom]

I got my summer cut this week too, and in an attempt to be as witty as you are I tried to think of someone famous and recognizeable who has the same cut. I got nothing, so I dialed my little sister who immediately answered my query with "Katie Couric". (Very unsexy, baaaadd answer)

Ummm, I think I'm going back for the Mia cut.

[clickmom]

I got my summer cut this week too, and in an attempt to be as witty as you are I tried to think of someone famous and recognizeable who has the same cut. I got nothing, so I dialed my little sister who immediately answered my query with "Katie Couric". (Very unsexy, baaaadd answer)

Ummm, I think I'm going back for the Mia cut.

[clickmom]

PS I swear I am not so retarded that I double post every time, there must be something wacky with my server. It ain't me! I'm innocent I tell ya...

[Em]

Man, what is better than a new short haircut in the summer and a crush on a Norweigian? Not much, that is what.

[millenniumhippies]

LMAO @ "I call him “Not-Sondre." That is hilarious! Can't remember how I found your blog, but love your writing, you crack me up!!

[Debbie/Debl]

Aw, that cutie-pie! Well, now you should know the truth: Henry and I are to be wed. In 25 years or so. I am sure the age difference won't bother him. I hope to see him soon so we can further explore Richard Scarry's Cars and Trucks and Things That Go. Every time I "turned the page" I turned about 20 pages, as that book is as dense as a Pynchon novel. Not that I've read one of those, but that's what I've heard.

And I am no mere babysitter. I refused all monies (except for dinner and a slice of delicious chocolate cake). I took care of him because It Takes A Village. Or something. And plus, it's like I gave them an anniversary gift! One that cost them 20 bucks or so (for the foods)!

[Africableu]

I can relate to you aboout the icky feeling when you crush on a younger guy. I was weirded out when I watched "Kingdom of Heaven" and realized I could so almost be Orlando's mama... not really, but ew anyway.

At least Johnny Depp will always be older than me...

[Mir]

Congrats to you and whatshisname! That's... ummm... well, it's great. But I cannot focus on that, because I want to know how to make my children wake up and call for someone other than me. Also I think I could use a little Norwegian eye candy around here.

[mamaloo]

Dammit, all music artists should have samples on their websites! Dammit, he doesn't! Dammit, unless I am so drunk I cannot find them, as they are cleverly named something besides "music." Dammit, that's entirely possible, dammit!! //slugs third cocktail//

[becca]

Sondre is only 21?! That makes me feel old.

You might also like Jens Lekman, speaking of awesome young Scandinavian dudes.

[Robert]

Glad you had a nice time.

[Jane]

Your play-doh incident and similar behaviour makes you even cooler. In a different way.Please enlighten a mystified person from the other side of the world - what do waterbugs have to do with water?

[C]

waterbugs were named such because you'll likely want to drown yourself if you ever see one.

(actually, "water bug" is a catch-all term for a large group of Hemiptera - "true bugs" - named such because they're all aquatic and we entomologists lack Alice's near-supernatural level of creativity)