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Let's Panic: The Book!

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How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant
who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain,
and Finally Turn You
into a Worthwhile
Human Being.

Written by Alice Bradley and Eden Kennedy

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Sleep Is
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Chicago Review Press

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Let's Panic

The site that inspired the book!

At LET'S PANIC ABOUT BABIES, Eden Kennedy and I share our hard-won wisdom and tell you exactly what to think and feel and do, whether you're about to have a baby or already did and don't know what to do with it.

Lets-Panic.com → 

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Tuesday
Jul292008

What friends are for.

"I ran over a chipmunk today."

"Oh, Abby, why? Why did the chipmunk have to die?"

"It was an accident! I tried to stop in time. Then I saw it in my rear-view mirror, smeared across the road."

"Poor little chipmunk."

"Maybe it had cancer, and I spared it a gruesome, painful death."

"Or maybe it had just been miraculously cured, and it was running across the road to tell its family."

"'GOOD NEWS, EVERYONE! I'M GOING TO LI—'"

"I bet you killed it right in front of its family, too. Right when they were all, 'You're going to what? WHAT?'"

"Hey, look, a bunny rabbit!"

"Where?"

"It ran away."

"It smells the scent of death on you."

"I think that chipmunk was dying. I think I'm the Jack Kevorkian of chipmunks."

"That chipmunk was running across the road, calling to its beloved, 'HONEY, I'M PREG—'"

"I just knew you'd make me feel better about this."

Reader Comments (60)

I am so sorry to say, I used to shoot gophers, also known as ground squirrels. I wasn't always the fashion and fun-loving city girl I am now...once upon a time I grew up on a farm and gophers were hunted by badgers. Badgers dug big holes. Cattle stepped into big holes, with varying results but often getting a broken leg in the process. So, control the gopher population and help to get your herd of cattle through the summer. I used to dress the part too, with a camo t-shirt, cargo pants and army boots. Ohh, I am so sorry, small furry creatures. If only we could have all (me, you, badgers and cows) lived in harmony.

August 2, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTamara ModernGear TV
I am so sorry to say, I used to shoot gophers, also known as ground squirrels. I wasn't always the fashion and fun-loving city girl I am now...once upon a time I grew up on a farm and gophers were hunted by badgers. Badgers dug big holes. Cattle stepped into big holes, with varying results but often getting a broken leg in the process. So, control the gopher population and help to get your herd of cattle through the summer. I used to dress the part too, with a camo t-shirt, cargo pants and army boots. Ohh, I am so sorry, small furry creatures. If only we could have all (me, you, badgers and cows) lived in harmony.

August 2, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTamara ModernGear TV
perfect!
August 3, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMarinka
That chipmunk had it coming...*sniff*...had no business being there...*sob*... never should have left his tree...*sniff*, *sniff*.

August 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSTUFT
Hello.This is first time for me to visit your site.I have three children (6year-old boy,4year-old boy,2year-old girl)They are angel, sometimes devil, though...I'm happy if you link to my site.It is written in Japanese(some of the words are English) but show pictures.http://baratchfamilykidspets.blogspot.com/
August 5, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterbaratch
I ran over a crow once, damn bird. I prefer to think he was an Avian Flu carrier, it helps me sleep at night.
August 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJenn
When I was first dating my husband, I in one inexplicable moment not only ran over one but two cats at the same time. Yep, made a wonderful impression. "Don't worry poor little kitties...I won't let her kill anymore..."
August 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKara
My best friend is a turtle-murderer. She called to tell me. She was genuinely upset. I told her that she was sick and twisted and her vicious act made my son cry. Then I taught my 2 year old to say turtle murderer (which was more like "tuttle-mudder") and we called her 3 times to make him say it.
August 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKW
The small furry creature was obviously out for its daily adrenaline rush and miscalculated. The family probably said, "Oops. I knew we should have had her running marathons instead of sprints."
August 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDaisy
Ha! I'll add my own story:On vacation I ran over three chipmunks in a five minute period. I was distraught but my boyfriend convinced me they were participating in chipmunk coming-of-age rituals and those that died obviously weren't worthy of becoming adults in the eyes of the...uhh tribe? Group? Whatever.
August 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

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