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Let's Panic: The Book!

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How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant
who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain,
and Finally Turn You
into a Worthwhile
Human Being.

Written by Alice Bradley and Eden Kennedy

Some Books
I'm In...

Sleep Is
For The Weak

Chicago Review Press

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Let's Panic

The site that inspired the book!

At LET'S PANIC ABOUT BABIES, Eden Kennedy and I share our hard-won wisdom and tell you exactly what to think and feel and do, whether you're about to have a baby or already did and don't know what to do with it.

Lets-Panic.com → 

« Apologies in advance | Main | All right, winter, we GET IT. »
Friday
Jan232009

What every single conversation is like around here.

Me: Okay, it's time to go, so let's—

Henry [throwing himself to the ground]: WHAAAAAaaagh oof!

Me: Henry.

Henry: I really fell! That wasn't a trick!

Me: Yeah. Anyway, as I was saying—

Henry [careening toward the wall]: Oh nooooooo the house is sliding to one side!

Me: Henry, we're late for—

Henry: Oof! Oh, man, I hit that wall hard.

Me: I recommend you stop throwing yourself against hard surfaces. So as I was say—

Henry [his body sliding across the parquet]: HEHHHHHHHHFFFFfff.

Me: Oh, sweet baby Jesus, enough with the wacky pratfalls.

Henry: Now I'm going to hit the couch really hard with my face.

Me: No you're not. No, you're not NO YOU'RE NOT aaand you just did.

Henry: WHAT? That was an accident.

Me: You kind of gave yourself away when you announced it beforehand. Can you just put your socks on OH MY GOD GET UP.

Henry [face down in front of me]: I'M DOING IT. Why are you so grumpy all the time?

Me: Here. Your socks. HERE.

Henry [putting on one sock and then falling over]: WAAAIIIIOOOOOOooough.

Me: You're trying to kill me, aren't you.

Reader Comments (78)

Glad I'm not alone.
January 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSpedrson
Between the crazy dancing with "Ozzy" on Sundays and the wacky pratfalls, I think you have a very lively household....hopefully your next home will be completely level and not sliding to one side....you should make sure of it before you move...

He is adorable, but I'm sure getting him out of the house on time is less than fun at times...
January 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLauri

and here I am with this crazy laughing again! the tears in eyes laughing thing I do when reading old posts of yours, alice! and this time it is stone sober, not even after drinking half a glass of wine, like the last time, the other night! well, i am probably half asleep, does that count? alice! you slay me! goodnight. zzzz

April 12, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLiz C in NJ

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