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Let's Panic: The Book!

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How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant
who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain,
and Finally Turn You
into a Worthwhile
Human Being.

Written by Alice Bradley and Eden Kennedy

Some Books
I'm In...

Sleep Is
For The Weak

Chicago Review Press

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Let's Panic

The site that inspired the book!

At LET'S PANIC ABOUT BABIES, Eden Kennedy and I share our hard-won wisdom and tell you exactly what to think and feel and do, whether you're about to have a baby or already did and don't know what to do with it. → 

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Welcome, Star-Ledger readers!

For those of you not living in New Jersey or regularly checking the Star-Ledger's site, I was featured today in the paper and the Star-Ledger's Parental Guidance blog. I can't think of a single complaint about this interview, which is unusual for me. I wasn't renamed Alice Brady, and the writer actually made me sound like an intelligent, reasonable being, neither bitter nor narcissistic. I'm not sure how she accomplished this, but I won't question her methods. Thanks, Carrie!

And now I suppose I should prove myself worthy of her kind words by, uh, writing something, or whatever. Hrrrm.

As some of you know, my son is currently enrolled in half-day kindergarten, which is (I'm trying to phrase this delicately) kicking my ass all over town. Half-day translates to two hours and fifty minutes, and factoring in the time it takes to walk him there and back and then answer a few calls and maybe make some lunch for myself before I keel over, I'm left with exactly three minutes to write. (Don't double-check that math.) In general my son is an easygoing sort, the type of kid who can be left alone for hours while he builds deadly Lego constructions, so I thought our mornings would be full of him playing while I, you know, channeled the Muse. But lately he wants quality time. With me. And you've seen those eyes; how can I say no to those? Even if his eyes were squinty and not particularly disarming, how can I turn away my baby when he requests a little face-time? I cannot. And so I have been listening to story after endless story, stories I can't really follow involving superheroes and Star Wars characters involved in multi-tiered conflagrations, and my brain, it is crammed full of five-year-old chatter. Inventive chatter, to be sure, but chatter. General Grievous! Trans-warp systems! Alien nanotechnology! Etc. So now I can no longer put sentences together in a way that sense they make good. Soon, though, the child will tire of me and let me get some work done. And then, crap, I'll have no excuse.

Reader Comments (42)

As it turns out, I AM in New Jersey, and I think there's a copy of the Star Ledger in my company kitchen. I'm off for a good read!
September 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCandy
Nice write-up. Congratulations on the publicity. Keep on writing Alice (Bradley, Brady, whatever they call you). I want to be you when I grow up!
September 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRobin
You definitely need to set up morning playdates for him! I'm sure another 5-year-old would get a heck of a lot more out of those conversations than you do. Off to check out your link...
September 23, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersuburbancorrespondent
Could be worse. My daughter's kindergarten starts at 7:45, which means we leave the house no later than 7:30, which means she wakes up when it's dark. It's impossible to get breakfast into her, and when she gets home she's exhausted, and can't be persuaded to do anything on her own, but then keyed up at night and can't sleep. So Hey! Guess What! She's even more tired the next day! And it's ONLY TUESDAY!!!!

So--Henry may be going full-tilt on Star Wars stories, but at least he's rested...
September 23, 2008 | Unregistered Commenternate
I am a card-carrying member of the Ignore Your Child for Their Own Good School of Parenting, but my little girl knows my weaknesses:"Mommy, will you hug me and love me? I want to 'nuggle with you!"Can. not. resist!
September 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHeidi
Congrats on the interview! Yay!

<--extremely grateful that my almost-5-year old still wants nothing to do with me. Still getting brain filled with almost-five-year old stories, shouted at me from across the room. Yay.
September 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAstrogirl426
Oh, the five-year-old babble... I cannot resist it ever. And I think I would be especially weak to your boy's pleading eyes!!

Maybe that's because mine is only 7 months? The novelty wears off, I'm sure... :)

Great article BTW!! Congrats!!
September 23, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterbessie.viola
Great write-up. And don't worry. One day your website will be popular. Keep working!
September 23, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterelise
When your son perfects his Photo-Ototomic Trans-somgobulating-Yecto-fantriplutonic-zanziptomiser, and heads out to a faraway planet, you will miss these times together. (See: Captain Underpants)
September 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGeorge
I thought that was a really good article. Congrats.And I am always amazed (always, I tell you) at how much time is taken up with transporting children to and from school. My kids are in the French system, which means we do it four times a day. It's my life. So much for writing.
September 23, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteredj
yeah, good luck with him tiring of you. I thought the same thing 5 years ago when mine was 5. Here's what you need to know going forward: the topic will change to things like Pokemon and Charizards and what kind of fire/water/make me mental power they have. I had to share this same info with another blogger friend earlier in the week. I'll be here for you when you need me after your head explodes from too much Japanese Animae.
September 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMary Anne
Loved the article, you're right, she did a great job!

I am highly impressed with your web traffic, LOL! After this article it will likely double!
September 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMauigirl
My four year old son is all about superhero's and all of their possible different special abilities right now so I feel your pain.
September 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJenn
Ah, yes. General Grevious. My 5 year old calls him Admiral Grease, which is much more entertaining for me.
September 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMFab
I feel your pain. We, too, are in the midst of a 5-year-old General Grevious obsession. Add that to 8-year-old Pokemon stories, and your head starts spinning. I suppose this is the age when moms master the all-important word "hmmmmmm," spoken as if considering what's just been said, when in reality your mind is screaming for something, anything, but light saber talk.

I miss Blue's Clues, really I do.
September 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterEmail From The Embassy
Congrats on the interview.

Damn that George Lucas and his insistence on dredging up the Star Wars machine for another generation. My two girls (GIRLS!) are OBSESSED with all things Star Wars and have been asking for their very own "Life Savers" so they can be like "Dark Vader" and go to the "Darth Side". I give up.
September 23, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterall things BD
I just read about the star ledger article on Baristanet(our local blog)! I've been reading you for over a year now and while I knew you were in Jersey - I didn't realize you nearly next door - Congratulations!

September 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChristina
You do realize that some day soon your son will not want/need this face-to-face time and you will actually miss it?! You will be the one seeking quality time. Take advantage of the present and impress it upon your memory. It is good. Your muse is standing by.
September 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterOne Mom
The Star Wars role playing wears me down every time. And my kid is only 3.

Congrats on the interview and why in the hell is there half day kindergarten?
September 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAngel Funk
Congrats on the news article!We only have girls here, so I'm not up to speed on the Star Wars stuff. I don't know, it's a toss up--would you rather be dressing up like a princess & having a tea party?
September 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAsianmommy
great article. you are, by the way, kinda like a rock star. an acquaintance told me they read your blog, and i shamelessly mentioned that i used to hang with you at the tot lot in brooklyn. (don't know if you remember me...but no matter...i'm not making it up, we did, in fact, hang). i didn't claim much-- i just mentioned that i had actually talked to the living, breathing alice bradley. and henry! before i knew you had a blog. and this woman, she got wide-eyed in disbelief-- she grabbed my shoulder-- she said, "no way!"-- this is more or less the same response i got when i said that i had seen david bowie on mercer street.
September 23, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersara
I read the Star Ledger article about your blog today, and actually found your "OF COURSE" post funny (I understood the context in which you meant it). Lovely site! Hope to enjoy more of your musings!
September 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterEuthie
Congrats on the good article! Not to burst your bubble but last year, my lego-loving, star wars expert, half-day kindergarten son did not tire of me. Not for even one half day. And not all summer long either. Lucky for me, I'm OK at legos and find him to be good company. Now the schools no longer offer a half-day option, and my full-time kindergarten daughter is exhausted and melting down on a daily basis and grumpy and often down-right mean. It could be worse...
September 23, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterlurky mommy
Having seen those eyes, I can safely say they are completely irresistible. I believe that in a few years they are going to break a lot of hearts. What a gorgeous kid!
September 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSusan Davies
I feel your pain with the half day kindergarten. I thought "Wow, three hours, five days a week! I'll get so much done!" And I just didn't. I hated having my days so broken up (I had a third grader, too, so it meant walking back and forth to school four times a day). But it gets better. You'll find a groove and be able to get more done. And if you don't, there's always first grade!
September 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

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