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Let's Panic: The Book!

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How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant
who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain,
and Finally Turn You
into a Worthwhile
Human Being.

Written by Alice Bradley and Eden Kennedy

Some Books
I'm In...

Sleep Is
For The Weak

Chicago Review Press

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Let's Panic

The site that inspired the book!

At LET'S PANIC ABOUT BABIES, Eden Kennedy and I share our hard-won wisdom and tell you exactly what to think and feel and do, whether you're about to have a baby or already did and don't know what to do with it. → 

« Addendum. And pictures! | Main | Three questions »

The Indignant Kindergartener.

Henry is shocked—SHOCKED!—that I dare move around in space and talk to him and have the gall to ask him questions. He learned from someone (I'm still searching for the source, and I will find it, oh, and how that person will rue the day) to answer every question with the handy phrase "Of course I (fill in the blank)." The above should be stated in weary indignation, as if the questioner should really know better by now. "Did you have a good day at school?" I might ask. "OF COURSE I didn't!" This is usually followed by violent eye-rolling and the occasional drop to the floor. His horror that I would dare ask such a question renders him incapable of bearing his own weight. His legs have simply given out from the shock. And yet here she comes again, with more questions! "Did you have gym today?" The eyes roll around and around. "OF COURSE. And it was BORING. All we did was WALK in CIRCLES."

Even if the response is positive, the affect is the same. "OF COURSE I had a good day at school. I only had the BEST DAY EVER. AAAAAAH." "And what made it the best day ever?" I might ask. "Obviously, that I WAS THE BEST KID," he booms, "And of course I ANSWERED EVERY QUESTION RIGHT." Then he throws himself to the ground because he can't believe he has to WALK with ME. GOD.

On the other hand, he's answering my questions this year. He can act as tough as he likes, but I'm still getting the precious, precious info. I realize that being excited to hear that "Nicholas STEPPED on my FOOT during LINE-UP" is pretty pathetic. But seriously, it's the most he's told me since the day he entered preschool, all those many years ago, when he wanted to marry me but didn't want to tell me what they ate during snack time.

Reader Comments (54)

I know what that is like. It's like pulling teeth to get my kids to tell me anything about their day. I have to ask a million questions to get yes and no answers. I never get any more than that! I learn more about their days when they talk on the phone to the grandparents. (Maybe I should just call them everyday and then eavesdrop- I'd probably learn more!)
September 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmy
How dare you not be psychic? Oi. I don't know whether to laugh or wince...or just eyeball my toddlers in a suspicious will-they-ever-do-that-to-me? way.

First time visitor and wow, are you ever a hoot. Your probably know that but I'm saying it anyway. I'm obvious like that.
September 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly
I'm glad to know they start talking. I'm still in the "out of the loop" phase, so much so, that I've resorted to showing up early and peeking. (Good golly, that makes me sound lame.)
September 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie
My son came home from school ending everything with "Duh!" We had the "I'm your mother not your friend" conversation. But your son does have gorgeous eyes. My son also has the eyes and eyelashes that kill. I should email you a picture, but that's right, I am too busy to take pictures let alone email them!...
October 7, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterheather

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