The answers! My god, the answers!
August 8, 2006Never let it be said that you people don’t have opinions. And my word, how much you’ve all moved. I must be unusual in my fondness for remaining in one place. If I moved to a new apartment in Brooklyn, I had to break out the smelling salts and spread myself across my fainting couch for at least the first month. But you, you adventurous types! You’re all when I lived in Tanzania I also felt some ennui and the first few months in Bangladesh were fairly tough. And here I am, living FORTY MINUTES (gasp!) from my old hometown, and weeping into my neckerchief over it.
First of all, I apologize for writing a post like that, which captured my feelings at that exact moment, feelings which changed fifteen minutes later and why don’t I wait an hour or so before posting something? It’s lovely, the way I puke all over the Internet, and all you nice people come rushing to clean me up. (Not that fifteen minutes later I decided I loved it here and we would never move—but as the day wore on, the need to GET OUT certainly felt far less desperate.)
That said, your insight was quite valuable, and you are all fine citizens of the Internet. The comments fell squarely into two camps: 1) We should give this place a year, and then reassess, and 2) We should move right now because life is too short to be miserable. Then there was the occasional “get over yourself” comment, which okay no one actually SAID, but I know some of you were thinking it. I know this because I can read your thoughts. Right now you’re thinking about dinner. You’re going to have chicken.
At first the comments that shrieked GET OUT! filled me with delight. Yes! We’re city folk! Back to the city we go! I still have my library card! And the comments that urged us to wait and weigh the pros and cons and give it time --oh, how they chafed. How tiresome, I thought. You sensible people are a total bummer.
But then this morning I re-read the comments, and the “wait it out” party all of a sudden sounded far more appealing. Because honestly? We’re not utterly miserable. We’re not surrounded by rednecks, as some of you seem to be. (And for this I am sorry.) We have nice neighbors. There’s, like, culture, and stuff. I suspect we can find ways of making ourselves feel better, here and now. (Not spending a sunny Saturday arguing in Home Depot, for instance.)
Then, of course, there’s Henry, and his school is all set for next year. Pulling him out of school a month early this spring near to killed me, and he loves his camp (which will hopefully become his school in the fall if someone pulls out and we get off the waitlist, oh please oh please), and I’m not taking that away from him.
So: we’re going to continue on this rollercoaster ride of adjustment. It’s a decidedly undramatic decision, but on the other hand it doesn’t entail buying multiple rolls of bubble wrap. Meanwhile, we’ll act as if we’re moving back, we’ll get prices on rentals, maybe we’ll even look at a few. And come spring, if we’re still feeling like Brooklyn is home, then we know what to do.
Or we’ll be just as clueless as we are now, and I’ll be back here, begging you for more advice.
Reader Comments (87)
I'm glad we talked you down. I know how you hate a place for a while, and then tolerate it, and then hate it again. It's common. But I'm glad you're going to give it a chance. Once school starts and people are back to normal in your 'hood, you might like it better.
Chris (My Blog)
It occurs to me that perhaps the slapping Pioneer Woman was hinting at the deceptiveness of happiness.
She was allusive to the illusiveness of happiness.
Love your blog, and glad you're feeling better about today!
From someone who has lived in Scotland (2 towns, 300 miles apart), Belgium, Canada, England and Iceland. With a husband from Italy. Whom I met in France ;) And we're nipping to China this fall, then Sweden next year...
When you start making NJ friends you'll feel different.
signed,still missing Brooklyn after 9 years but not moving back until the kids are grown
I'm sure you'll do what's best. With all this advice and everything;)
I have never loved you more than I do at this moment. *sniff*
Not true, incidentally. I have found it impossible to be bored in Chicago.
The point of this ramble being, some of us are just city folk. You may be, or perhaps you'll find you've come to love where you are. But either way, it's a smart plan to give it some time. Brooklyn will still be there.
And we TOTALLY had chicken for supper. You're psychic!
Yes, the chitlins, they do affect the choices. We'll be headed to the 'burbs within a year because the KCMO school district is scary, scary, scary, and we don't want to do private school if we can avoid it, having many friends and relatives who are public-school teachers and wanting to be sort of supportive of that.
You could still buy the bubble wrap, though. Just because.
I've been at the home-owningness in the 'burbs for 4 years now and I still occasionally have the same nightmare that plagued me for months after the intial house purchase. I'll be looking for something in the house and find a room I've never been in before and EVERYTHING is wrong with it - sparks from outlets, roof leaking, water pooling on the floor, walls crumbling. I just hope I never find that room. And if I do, I'm sealing the door on it forever.
I'm glad you have a plan. Sometimes, when I fear having made a big mistake, having a plan of action to correct that mistake is enough to calm me down. Even if I never implement the plan.