Ho ho hurrrgh

On Saturday we did a thing we should not have done. We went to the Toys R Us in Times Square.

If you live in New York, if you've ever visited New York, or if you have even a smidgen of sense you are wondering what might be wrong with us. "Don't go to the Toys R Us in Times Square on a Saturday, especially on a Saturday a few weeks before Christmas" is right up there in the Most Obvious Advice Category, right after "Don't do a Google Image Search for 'syphilis.'"

The answer is, I have no answer for you. We took leave of our senses. We were in the neighborhood, we were already suffering, and Saturday being the first day of Hanukkah, we thought we'd get a little something for Henry because usually I get him something and I forgot. We thought "How bad could it be, really?" and we shared that thought with one another, and the response that came back to us was not "Worse than you can possibly imagine in your worst nightmares." It was not "Hieronymus Bosch-like levels of horrible."

Like this, only waaaay more crowded.

Even Henry, who was pretty amped up about getting a Hanukkah gift, was like, "Mother? Father? We are leaving here and never returning." Unfortunately we had already entered, and were trapped in a sea of people. You can't paddle upstream, when it's people. You somehow find yourself on the up escalator, wondering if they really need to have the enormous animatronic T-Rex blasting and lurching like it's going to eat us and making the kids scream and you know what? I'm not writing about this anymore. It was horrible! The end!

The good news is we got out. And also we never have to go there ever again. But seriously, Toys R Us? You are not allowed to let your stores exceed maximum capacity. You are lucky no one was injured. Or maybe they were, and you stuffed them in your T-Rex? Either way, you are worse than terrible.

Let's forget all about Toys R Us. Let's watch Maymo, shall we? Hi Maymo!



Maymo always helps. And never hurts. Maymo is un-terrible.

What else? Well, my friends! WELL! I've got the second round of A Practice of Writing coming up, beginning January 14th. (Those of you paying attention will note that I changed the date from December 31st. Who starts a class on New Year's Eve? Honestly.) I will be opening registration this week. Get ready.

2012!

Happy new year! Did you all have a good Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Druidic solstice ritual? Anyone burn a Wicker Man? It's okay. I won't judge your insane pagan rituals.

We sure as hell had a good time. We hosted a Christmas brunch for my immediate family, somehow managing to cram the whole clan into our space-challenged living room. (Note to myself: become a millionaire, purchase luxurious townhouse. Maybe a resolution for 2012?) Both my nephews couldn't join us, and they sent me regretful emails and I was all THAT'S FINE OKAY BYE NOW because listen they take up a lot of space.

It wasn't my idea for them both to grow up so tall and musclebound.

Henry had an amazing day despite his cold, but the good news is he managed to transmit the virus to both myself and Scott. I was feeling pretty smug about how healthy I've been since adopting the Paleo lifestyle, so obviously the Lord (working through my Only Son) smote me. He does stuff like that when it's his birthday.

Last week we did nothing and it was pretty much the best thing ever even though my throat hurt and I whined a bunch. I have no problem sleeping until noon and not ever getting out of my pajamas--I mean LOUNGEWEAR. Note to self: become reclusive millionaire.

One of my gifts this year was An Illustrated Life: Drawing Inspiration from the Private Sketchbooks of Artists, Illustrators and Designers. I like to draw and sketch and whatnot, but I haven't made it a priority because it seems to take over my brain. Once I start I have a very hard time wanting to do anything else, like acknowledging my family, or showering. So yes, I avoid it because I love it too much. That makes sense.

But this book, you guys. This book inspired me like no one's business. I got out a sketchbook and my watercolor set and brushes, and I went to town. "Town" being my living room, where I sketched everything around me.

This is pretty much all I did all week. I've missed it SO DAMN MUCH.

I did go outside once, where I sketched my dog peeing. It was a moment crying out to be captured!

I'm now so in love with this daily sketch habit that I decided I was going to start a WHOLE NEW BLOG and POST MY DAILY SKETCHES ON IT and etc etc ALL CAPS BIG IDEAS. But then the coffee wore off and it occurred to me maybe not to make this a big-deal project but instead just enjoy myself. And occasionally share my sketches with you! I like you.

Merry Christmas

We're ready.

Every last gift is wrapped.

Charlie has on his Christmas collar.

Henry is down with a cold. A marathon afternoon of Futurama was the only thing keeping him conscious all afternoon.

Charlie was concerned. Or sleepy. It's hard to tell which.

During dinner we watched Scrooged, which may very well become a holiday tradition around here. Henry was a fan.

I suggested we put a plate out for Santa, and I thought Henry was going to scoff at the idea--he's a BIG KID, you guys. But then he said he'd write a letter, too. It's pretty great.

(Okay, we're ready in every way except for not having an unbroken cookie in the house. We're hoping the chocolate makes up for it.)

We hope you all have a joyous Christmas. I'm so thankful to all of you for reading and commenting. You've changed my life, truly.

Happy New Year

Henry's vacation combined with the fourteen feet of snow dumped on us rendered most of our plans for the week impossible, so we sat around. And around, and around. And oh my, it was glorious. Some days I didn't get out of my pajamas. Some days I ate nothing but Christmas cookies until noon. I went to the gym yesterday, and my yoga pants were noticeably tighter. Surely this is a coincidence.

My Redbook posts for the week were only now put up, due to editors being unavailable (thanks, inclement weather!). So here you are, in the waning light of 2010:

First, a highly biased list of some of the best parenting-related tweets of 2010. Please let me know what I missed--I bet there are some goodies.

And second, a look at New Year's resolutions. In which I name my inner critic Wanda. She TOTALLY deserved it.

Happy new year, everyone. Thank you for reading, and commenting, and being wonderful in general. I get a little choked up when I think of how much this blog, and all of you, have brought me and my family. And I think 2011's going to be amazing for us all. This is our year! TEAM!