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Let's Panic: The Book!

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How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant
who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain,
and Finally Turn You
into a Worthwhile
Human Being.

Written by Alice Bradley and Eden Kennedy

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At LET'S PANIC ABOUT BABIES, Eden Kennedy and I share our hard-won wisdom and tell you exactly what to think and feel and do, whether you're about to have a baby or already did and don't know what to do with it.

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« HEAT! | Main | Mulch madness. »
Thursday
Oct302008

So, so cold.

So I'm sitting here waiting for the guy who's going to arrive to fix our furnace, which stopped working at some point in the middle of the night. Nothing like waking up to the sight of your own breath turning to icicles in the air, I'll tell you what.

Anyway, I was panicked all morning and convinced that just as we're heading out we're going to have to fork over our kidneys in order to get a new furnace installed. (The word "furnace" is looking weird to me. That is the right word, right, for the gas heating type thingy in the basement? Furnace furnace furnace. It just looks weird.) But then I spoke to one of the parents at Henry's school, who told me the same thing happened to him yesterday, and it turned out it was just some sediment that had built up in some kind of coil thingy (I know all the technical terms), which of course meant no new furnace and also a very cheap bill.

Needless to say, my relief was enormous (not that it means that this is what's wrong with our heating thingamabob, but I'm choosing to believe it is, so shhhh) and so I proceeded to make out with the poor, surprised parent, who was all "what" and "uh" and "I don't think" and "would you please." Secretly he liked it. Anyway, my point is, Scott, I'm sorry you had to find out this way, it didn't mean anything, and also I'm pretty sure if you had been there you would have joined in.

Reader Comments (24)

Hope he's right! And, I'm sure Scott will be cool with it. "Heading out"? You do realize everyone is parsing for clues, don't you? What's the scoop?!
October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCJ
Dearest Alice,

You have so lit my pilot light baby.

Conflagrationly,Joe
October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHeyJoe
Well, making out with a stranger is ONE way to warm yourself up..
October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSprite's Keeper
We thought we were moving to a new town, so recently I told my husband I didn't care who he had to sleep with in our favorite restaurant, he needed to get the recipes for my favorite dishes. He seemed disappointed when we decided not to move, but I told him to go ahead - they're closed on Mondays and what if I need green chili chicken enchiladas on a Monday some day?!
October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCarrie
Furnaces? I'm English, I don't DO furnaces, I do solid-fuel Rayburns (lives in the kitchen, does the heating, cooking, hot water all in one, dries the washing and is great for warming cold bottoms on. You just feed it coal or wood). Well, now I live in Canada, I kinda have to. Our roaring monster packed its bag and sulked on Christmas morning last year. Like you, I had dollar signs in their thousands whizzing past my eyes. Turns out it was a 40 cent fuse (inside it, I did actually check the fuse board).

The emergency call-out fee was quite something else though...
October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMrs F with 4
Hee. Furnace problems are the worst problems to have.

Here's to toasty air and warming one's lips on unsuspecting passerby!
October 30, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterbessie.viola
Your post cracked me up. I just watched a video of racists at an anti-Obama rally so I really, really needed that. Thank you.
October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKim


Hey, my furnace guy just left! Small world!

I'm not going to tell you how much it cost to replace the circuit board, which turned out to be the problem. Suffice it to say, the tally would not inspire you to plant one on me, or anyone, ever again.

But it's nice to have heat! Silver lining, you know.
October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNewt
I would randomly make out with someone who reduced my furnace repair bill. I'm easy though 'cause I'd also make out with anyone who:

offered to babysit my kids

would retrieve the toy train stuck in my toilet

told me my ass looked small

asked if I lost weight

gave me wine

was George Clooney (he's on my laminated list)



Furnace = Forced Hot Air (floor vents)Boiler = Hot Water or Steam (baseboards or radiators)Fireplace = Bear skin rugs and a bottle of wine.
October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJohn
You wouldn't know there is a furnace heating our house, as my mother likes to keep it around 58 in the dead of winter. Not for energy saving purposes - she says she's comfortable.
October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle
Last winter our ducted heating (that's what we call it in Australia) died in the middle of July (which means it was really really cold) and the guy took 7 WEEKS to come and fix it.Only one company repairs my brand of heater, and I think they only employ one guy. We don't get as cold as you do, but Melbourne is only one city away from Antarctica so the temperature gets low.I was borrowing electric heaters from the school I teach at to get us through. My electricity bill was enormous.Good luck. I hope it's a 40c fuse. Mine was a $300 motherboard for the computer that runs it.
October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFrogdancer
With the price of fuel today - the amount of money you saved not burning oil last night may well be more than the cost of the service call! Win - Win!
October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCJ
My parents live in NJ and they participate in this service plan with the gas company. Basically they will fix any problems and it is part of the plan. I don't know if this covers a new furnace if the old one dies, but you might want to look into it.
October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNoelle
He would have been there, but just for the body warmth.
October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJoey
So glad that I don't have to write a blog, since you are living my exact life, and doing all the work for me! I want a cut of the profits though.
October 30, 2008 | Unregistered Commentercj coats
That is the weirdest goddamned thing. The furnace guy was here for the exact same problem on Tuesday. The pigtail, right? What a racket. $200 to flush out a tube. This time, though, the guy showed me what to do and I wrote down notes. (Let me know if you want them.)
October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTammy
where is joe the furnace fixer when you need him?
October 30, 2008 | Unregistered Commentergiyen
Ahh - the thermocoupler is the best furnace repair of all, because the repairman will show you how you can repair it yourself.
October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTheQueen
Oh, I hope you're right and it's no big deal. Our entire HVAC system died last summer -- with the 3 years same-as-cash deal it's like making another car payment every month!
October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKris
I sooo totally understand. we have hot water heat heat so our 'furnace' is a boiler. Last year it stopped working and made a snapping noise everytime it tried to start. I visualized thousands of dollars going away after we found some, but it was only a part replacement and cost $60.00. So take heart.
October 31, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterstljoie
Ah, the joys of home ownership. My husband grew up in Brooklyn and has no concept of home repair. Anything that happens in our house prompts a call to our builder, and we have lived here for two and a half years. I have tried several times to explain to him that they are not "the super" and you can't call them to come and fix stuff. You actually have to do that yourself and if you can't you have to PAY SOMEONE (the horror) to do it for you. Glad your repair bill didn't require home equity loan. Enjoy the warmth.
October 31, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermommyliz
Our 50 year-old, cast iron furnace conked out twice last year on cold evenings, so this year my father took pity and helped us buy a new one--in the summer, thank God. I cannot tell you how it feels to not have it sound like gremlins are whacking on the pipes to get the thing going.

Glad it worked out--cold noses and icy fingers in your own home just seem so insulting.
November 2, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterdie Frau
I hope he's right, too! I would FREAK OUT if the heat in my condo died. FREAK OUT, I said. I meant it, too.
November 3, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCourtney

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