Regarding your latest email
April 20, 2011I love my parents and related old-ish people. I do! I love that they're all, to a person, compelled to forward any email they receive that might be viewed as cute, funny, important, or all three. But then they get frustrated with me for not replying. If you're of the Greatest Generation and are wondering why I never respond to such emails, here's what it looks like on my end.
From: Fictional great-aunt
To: Alice Bradley
Subject: FW: Fwd: Fwd: Re: FORWARD: Fwd:
-------
Thought you guys might want to see this. WOW!!
-----
Join Excite! - http://www.excite.com
The most personalized portal on the Web!
FORWARDED MESSAGE
From: 2319Grandmacutie@aol.com
To: mymailman@aol.com, 193457h@yahoo.com, MyDaughterEileen@hotmail.com, 1sttimeoninternet@optonline.net, Ilovefunnyjokes@yahoo.com, oldyoldensen@hotmail.com, computersfrightenme@nyc.rr.whatever.com, StillHot19u7@aol.com
FUNNY!
---
--FWD MESSAGE--
From: StillHot19u7@aol.com
To: asdkuo@hotmail.com, billyjoelis#1@hotmail.com, mythirdcousin@excite.com, guttercleaners@aol.com, windowwashergil1965@aol.com, 2319Grandmacutie@aol.com
TOO IMPORTANT NOT TO READ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
--ORIGINAL MESSAGE--
From: stevetheaccountant@accountantswestchester.com
To: brendan073467@aol.com, webfiwery@hotmail.com, werewolves@hotmail.com, noteventryingtocomeupwitheasyemailaddress@optonline.net, theinternetfrightensme@excite.com, mygranddaughterconvincedmetoopenanelectronicmailaccount@hotmail.com, sexyjanet@hotmail.com
I thought you guys might like a chuckle and also appreciate this important message about the dangers of something. Amazing but true!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This email account should be used for professional communications only. Do not share the information contained within to any other parties without explicit permission of Accountants of Westchester, Inc. Also do not print this because something something trees. The views contained within do not necessarily reflect the opinions or thoughts of Accountants of Westchester, LLC. Or are we Inc.? Whichever. Hug a tree.
--ORIGINAL ORIGINAL MESSAGE--
From: newsoftheday@prodigy.com
To: stevetheaccountant@accountantswestchester.com
SO funny/dangeorus/sad/true! Did you hear about how
REMAINDER OF EMAIL UNABLE TO DOWNLOAD DUE TO LENGTH
?
Reader Comments (74)
There is no shame in putting family in the spam folder or on the Facebook "hide" list.
Sadly, I get these all the time from my best friend (who is 32 and has an AOL account).
Oh, Rhi. There, there.
"THIS ONE CHECKS OUT ON SNOPES!"
Haa...the corporate message on the email is all kinds of fabulous.
I get these too and have perfected a lightning quick delete response.
Whoorl, the fact that your emailing relatives have the wherewithal to check Snopes first just shows how much younger your older relatives are than mine. Your mom's probably my age, right? I'm guessing.
My mom is filtered. When asked if I got her last email, the answer is always "Yes, that was cute."
Luckily she never emails me anything important.
Hilarious! I think I should send this link to my mum because she does this ALL THE TIME!!
Jennifer, just wait until there's an email ABOUT HER MYSTERIOUS BIOPSY RESULTS. Although who knows? Maybe they'll be cute. (Fingers crossed!)
I like to bottle up my anger over long periods of time and then unleash it on all my grandmother's friends periodically using my old pal, the "REPLY ALL" button.
"something trees" Love this, Alice.
It's almost a relief when the content cuts off like that - it's pretty much nothing but waving-flag gifs and warnings about things (carcinogens and/or politicians) that want to kill your family. I know this because my mother-in-law sends me several of these emails every week. I've tried directing all her emails to my spam folder, but it got awkward when I missed a few actually-important messages from her. (It's terrible being me, is what I'm saying.)
My mom forwards me EVERYTHING. And when I tell her that something in particular is a hoax, she'll say, "I thought it might be. I was hoping you'd check Snopes for me." WTH!?! www.snopes.com - How hard is that?!? *hyperventilating*
I have started (politely) asking family to not forward me things. I just tell them that I read and respond to email most of the day for work and I would hate to miss out on important family news because I have gotten used to deleting every email that comes from them. My FIL was up to around five forwards a day when he was out of work, ugh. So far this has worked like a charm.
From: Antonia Cornwell
To: Alice Bradley
Subject: Re: FW: Fwd: Fwd: Re: FORWARD: Fwd:
-------
ssssooooooooooooooooooo true!!!
-------
(Oh shit, the email addresses you made up for this. Ian came running in to see what all the maniacal laughter was about.)
My in-laws are so fond of using dancing emoticons in the body of their emails that I mostly don't even open them anymore, so I never get the chance to "forward the email or else break the email prayer chain that has been going since 1966."
This made me laugh out loud. I love the ones with prayers... if you do not send to seven people in seven days, then you will have bad luck. Since when did God take over the leprechaun's job???
If I may offer a positive, with my MIL on full-time email forwarding duty, I am ALWAYS up to date on urban myths from five years ago AND every conceivable picture of Jesus and/or kittens ever created. So, there's that.
Insert racist or sexist jokes or naked ladies and this could be about my grandfather. GRANDFATHER. Yes, he does send naked ladies chain emails to his granddaughter. *face palm*
We clearly share relatives.
My father sends me these constantly, mostly PANICKED! WARNINGS! under the guise of "information I want you to know". His latest was an article titled "The Perils of Vegetarianism". Ohhhh yeah.
This confirms it: we're related. Because theinternetfrightensme@excite.com is my mom, and Ilovefunnyjokes@yahoo.com is my dad.
I thought you were a sister.
This is extra hilarious since I just finished reading an email forward from my boss. We do NOT see eye to eye politically so I was a little bit afraid to open it, but fortunately it was a pretty corny/funny joke about the Easter Bunny (rated G).
I have one email for family only. This "type" of family. It's full of bullshit and offers from viagra.