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Let's Panic: The Book!

Order your copy today!

How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant
who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain,
and Finally Turn You
into a Worthwhile
Human Being.

Written by Alice Bradley and Eden Kennedy

Some Books
I'm In...

Sleep Is
For The Weak

Chicago Review Press

Home - Middle Row

Let's Panic

The site that inspired the book!

At LET'S PANIC ABOUT BABIES, Eden Kennedy and I share our hard-won wisdom and tell you exactly what to think and feel and do, whether you're about to have a baby or already did and don't know what to do with it. → 

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Please look at this other place where I'll be

I now have a blog over at Redbook! Celebration!

Please, my friends, please do not worry that this means you are losing Finslippy. It does not. I will still be here. This only means that you are gaining a me who is also over there. I can be in both places! You will see.

I will be using my Redbook soapbox to discuss issues pertaining to ladies who are mothers and our special mom-lady-problems, with an emphasis on Other Blogs and The Interesting Conversations That Can Be Found Therein. In stark contrast, I will be using Finslippy to discuss my dog's breath, and my pants.

Please register to comment, and then comment. I agree that registration is a pain, but there's no way around it, and you only have to do it once. And then, at some later date, when you're especially enraged by something I've written, you can fire off a furious missive without worrying about registering first. Because you're already in. It's like you're part of an exclusive club. That anyone with an email address can join.

The name of the Redbook blog is "The Mom Moment," and they're amenable to a better name, but I haven't been able to find it yet. So if you have any ideas, hit me. WIth ideas. Figuratively. Bonus points if it doesn't have "mom" in the name.

Now: Charlie's breath. I don't get it. Is he eating poop? Is he pooping, and then eating it, and then throwing it up? He is the cutest dog of all time. I mean, come ON:

Charlie, showing off his new Mod Dog collar

But then he yawns near my face and it's like an old Warner Brothers cartoon where a green cloud spreads out from his mouth and everything that it touches either dies or runs screaming from the room. I think the last time he licked me, my nose cried out "Yipe! Yipe! Yipe!" and grabbed a tiny suitcase from out of nowhere and took off down my face.

On the other hand: he's 13. That's 91,000 in human years. He's earned his horrible death-stink mouth.

Next on Finslippy: my pants! Oh, you'll see.

Reader Comments (37)

How about the title, "The Back Fence" It puts me in mind of the fence neighbors lean on while catching up on kids/husbands/whatever.

The other title I thought of is "Kids & Etc"

love your blog, even though I seem to have fallen behind there -- I still had the typepad address!


December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarilyn

go ask alice

Congrats to you! Congrats to us!

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdianne

And your HAIR! we want to see your hair!!

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSheila

Our dog Hooper has a similar problem. What's awesome is when he stands in Chris's lap and then turns and burps in Chris's face. It make me laugh every time. And tear up because the stink bomb travels.

December 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCindy

My cat Hamlet (R.I.P.) had crap-for-breath his entire life, and the vet said it was his gums. Early on we used to floss him but come one! We had lives to live. Anywho, it eventually degenerated into an epulis, which is a benign tumor in the mouth that made it hard for him to eat. It is rare for cat's to get epulises (epuli?) but common for the dogs, especially 91,000 year old dogs. Check it out--he's probably got gum issues.

As for your Redbook (TM) blog, how about Fertile Ground? Cuz see, moms are fertile (usually) and so will be the topics! Huh?Huh?

Anxiously awaiting news of your pants.

December 10, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdgm

Bad breath in dogs or cats is usually a sign of dental disease. Ask your vet to examine his teeth and determine if he needs a dental cleaning. Like others mentioned this will need to be done under anesthesia, so it is a good idea to get blood work first to check his organ function. Once under anesthesia it is not uncommon to find teeth that need to be removed because they are broken or infected. This can increase the cost, but will make him more comfortable. Be prepared for an estimate with a large number at the bottom - dental cleaning for pets is rarely cheap.

December 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmelia, LVT

Do you know what's fun? To read a funny post from Alice and then scroll down and read all the advice that some how comes out after funny stories in which no advice was asked for.

December 11, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterverymom

What Amy said. Be so very careful if you (and your vet) decide to get Charlie's teeth cleaned . . . I cleaned both my german shepherd's teeth from middle age on, and while it wasn't a walk in the park (they SCAREAAAMED bloody murder the whole time!!!) I did manage to do it. And saved myself at least 200 bucks a pop, because anesthesia in the veterinary world goes by dog weight, and mine were in the 80 lb range, so pricey. And this was the 80's and 90's! I used a human dental tooth scraper, layed them on their side, and kinda did a whole body hold while I scraped. it worked, until it didn't. I never took them to the vet for their teeth to be done from middle age, on, because not only is it pricey, but anesthesia ALWAYS has it's risks, and in older dogs, it's almost a given that you "say goodbye" each and every time they are put under, because they might not wake up!
That said, dogs are also notorious for eating poop. Theirs, the cats, the babies (diapers, ewww). So, if he does, and burps in your face, you will vomit. Poor baby. My vet said that dogs that eat cat poop are not undernourished, malnourished, needing extra vitamins, etc. They are just bored. And cat food is high in protein, so it's also high in protein coming out the backend. If you get my drift . . .

December 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Oh, you people are glorious. I really don't need any advice regarding my dog's mouth--I think I have a good sense of what's going on and what I am (and am not) willing to spend--but thank you for your concern.

December 13, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteralice

You could call your Redbook column "Not Seeking Dog Breath Advice." (See, I continue to be helpful.)

December 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterZina

NO, no, Alice, please don't ask for an end to the dog breath advice. Well, maybe the advice, but the actual descriptions... gawd, I may need a diaper now. Ok, too much information.

Blog titles?
Too Much Information
Time Out
Momblings (Not sure if this is a pun on "mumbling" or... nope, never mind, it sounds like jewelery for moms)
Gaining MOMentum
Moms Gone Wild (not really, but it had to be said) (oh, even better... I just googled it in case someone else had named their blog with this, and the first item was a porn site featuring... "banging moms". Never mind. Again. Time for brain bleach.)

*sigh* Well, I think I've done enough damage here...

December 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLorna

You are right, the registering is a pain, but once its done its DONE! Good luck at Redbook. I look forward to reading you there too!

December 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRaquel @ MonkeysMom
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