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Let's Panic: The Book!

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How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant
who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain,
and Finally Turn You
into a Worthwhile
Human Being.

Written by Alice Bradley and Eden Kennedy

Some Books
I'm In...

Sleep Is
For The Weak

Chicago Review Press

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Let's Panic

The site that inspired the book!

At LET'S PANIC ABOUT BABIES, Eden Kennedy and I share our hard-won wisdom and tell you exactly what to think and feel and do, whether you're about to have a baby or already did and don't know what to do with it. → 

« What are you doing tomorrow night? | Main | The worst post I've ever written. »


I cannot begin to tell you how much all of your emails and comments have meant to me. I read each and every one of them, and every one of them helped more than I can say. (And yet I'm still sadder than I've ever been. This seems mathematically impossible, but my emotions are terrible at math.)

Right now I'm feeling a lot of things, and soon enough I will write long and confused posts about this bizarre rollercoaster ride I'm on, but first I wanted to say thank you. To all of you out there, and to those close to home. I have an amazing family who have rallied around me, parents who came and cried with me and made dinner and cleaned my refrigerator, friends who visited and sent gifts and let me cry all over them and took Henry on extended playdates. I have an impossibly sweet boy who has remained, I am pleased to say, mostly oblivious to what's going on. (Although this morning he pointed out that I haven't played with him in months. I have some serious catching up to do.) And I have the greatest husband of all time. (Sorry, ladies, but I win.) And if I say anything more about how much he's done for me, I'll start crying again, and sheesh, my mascara is already messed up enough. (Yes, I applied mascara this morning. I had this delusion that today maybe I wouldn't cry. Ha ha! HAAArggh hmm.)

More later.

Reader Comments (96)

I've been thinking of you every day since I read your post last week--didn't comment then, because maybe too shocked and breathless? I'm so sorry for your loss, but am so glad for you that your wagons have circled (that's how we call it in our family--when you need your "Village People" [it takes a village...] they "Circle the Wagons" to protect and keep you, as long as you need, until you can be among the Wagons again, ready to do the circling for someone else).

Also, I had to laugh--I like to say the same thing about my husband, that I Won. I *love* to hear someone else say that about theirs.

Hoping for peace for you, however and whenever you find it.
May 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKara
I've been thinking about you an awful lot over the past few days, and I'm glad you've got such excellent folks around you (in person and via the comment box) to clean your fridge and give you cyber hugs. Take care! (And don't worry one bit about the mascara.)
May 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThea
I wear waterproof every single day. I need it often. And I am so very happy your fridge is clean! It won't help with the sad, but definitely with the overwhelmed.

God bless.
May 5, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterkristi
It is so great that all your friends and family are there for you :) I don't want to sound like a creepy blog stalker but I wondered if they knew what happened or if you hadn't announced the news yet and were suffering silently, so I just feel really relieved that they are there for you to lean on. And cleaning out your fridge?? Most awesome friends/family EVER!

Still thinking about you and just knowing that the most healing time for you is on its way.
May 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterShannon
Mascara: It's good to have hope.

I'm still sending all of my best, warmest, most comforting thoughts your way. Somehow, via the internet, I hope they get to you and help.
May 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Grace
Take heart Alice and take it a day at a time. Many Hugs!
May 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterExSchutz
It is a roller coaster and the only way to ride it is the way that works for you. If that means standing up and spitting on some of the innocent bystanders beneath well... sometimes that happens! Thoughts are with you and your family.

May 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMegan
the words "hang in there" seem trite- but i guess what i really wish is for you to be gentle with yourself and take care of you. get outside in the sun today (w/maybe a hat and some spf, my fair skinned friend) and just rest. be well. thinking of you.
May 5, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterpnuts mama
Glad you're doing better. I hope the clouds abate a little more each day. It sounds like you have a wonderful family at your side.Thinking of you!
May 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJen
You seem like such an awesome person, and your funny and well written blog puts smiles on so many of our faces. You've built up a huge store of good wishes that you'll have to expand to a mega warehouse/superstore. (No, I have no idea what I'm talking about!) But how cool is it that Dooce is in your tri-state area this week to make you focus on that fabulous essay you wrote about your dad. I hope that gives you a respite from the sadness, and I wish you many more respites. But, yes, take your time. And, there are many glamorous and artsy photos out there of women with runny mascara. Consider yourself an artist!
May 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLinda
Oh, and maybe get yourself one of these:
May 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLinda
Alice - thinking of you and your family in this difficult time.
May 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLucy
Lots more tears will come your way over the next few weeks and maybe even months. After all that pregnancy had so much potential; being of course your offspring and Henry's sibling. Being in the middle of it right now sucks, I know. Now when I look back on the two miscarriages I suffered, they are part of the journey that brought me Garrett. They much less about loss, than what I ultimately gained. It sure would be nice to skip that hard, tear-filled, snot pouring out, mascara-running journey part though, wouldn't it!? You'll have to make your own journey, and we'll end up at a slightly different destinations in the end, but with your husband, Henry, and the rest of your immediate, extended, and internet family around you, hopefully you'll find you make it without too many rocks in your shoe.
May 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRobin in San Jose
My first pregnancy was a miscarriage. I cannot even tell you how many times I looked at my son who was conceived five months later and was so incredibly thankful for how it all turned out. Didn't feel that way then. Sure am thankful now.
Keep talking, Alice--it really does help. I'll keep listening no matter what. Peace to you.
May 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHeather
It IS a rollercoaster. One moment you're feeling like you can handle it all and the next minute you're crying in the middle of a supermarket - be strong, but cry when you need to.
May 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSharon
I am so sorry this happened, so glad you posted, and so relieved to hear you have so much support.Also, thanks for posting about Henry - I was wondering how he was doing. When I was pregnant w/my 2nd and we had some scary ultrasounds, I kept thinking, "How will we tell The Boy about this?" He is a love, and hopefully with the Mad Libs, will help you find your smile again. Nothing like Stinky Butts and Poopy jokes for that!We will keep sending you love and support as long as you need it.
May 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRachel
Alice,I started reading your blog because it was funny-I've continued to read because you share your life and write so beautifully. Thanks for continuing to share, and please be gentle to yourself in every way. Remember to do at least one self indulgent thing for yourself a day. (if you need suggsetions, ice cream, elastic waist band pants, and going to the movies are my top 3 indulgences). It won't take away the grief, but hopefully it will help you remember how valuable and special YOU are.Take care,Melanie
May 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie
Thinking of you.
May 5, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterliz
I am late reading this but wanted to say how sorry I am. It gets better only because the grief is easier to carry. I hope we can carry some of this for you. Take care, Pink (lurker and regular reader)
May 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPinkPoppies
Dearest Alice,

Thanks for checking in. We appreciate the update. Take care of yourself.

Jewish Motherly,Joe
May 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHeyJoe
I'm so glad you have such a fabulous support system rallying around you. I think just having someone acknowledge that a baby was there and offer a shoulder is just one step in the healing process. Hang on.
May 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMommy Cracked
((((( Alice ))))))

We love you!

I am glad you have the best man. I have the best woman and I know how you feel!!! :-)

(((( Alice )))) again!
May 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFrankie
You have the right to be as overwhelmed as you want for as long as you like. Thanks for letting us (internet worriers) know you're ok. You're in my thoughts often.
May 5, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterclarabella
A regular lurker - male, yet - just extending my sympathies.

Doesn't seem like it, but life will continue. Trust me.

You are all in my prayers.
May 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGreg

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