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Let's Panic: The Book!

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How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant
who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain,
and Finally Turn You
into a Worthwhile
Human Being.

Written by Alice Bradley and Eden Kennedy

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Sleep Is
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Let's Panic

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At LET'S PANIC ABOUT BABIES, Eden Kennedy and I share our hard-won wisdom and tell you exactly what to think and feel and do, whether you're about to have a baby or already did and don't know what to do with it.

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« Don’t rub me like a Jedi knight. | Main | This blog has gone wrong somewhere. »
Sunday
Feb132005

Only two reasons why I married the right person.

1. Because my husband, not usually one to pay any attention to silly holidays, gave me a Valentine’s Day gift of chocolates that were in a box made of chocolate, causing me to eat every single chocolate and then the box--and then, smeared with choco-leavings, whoop and yawp as I tore ass up and down the length of our apartment for the next six hours.

2. Because later in the day he grabbed the pink-and-white ribbon that had festooned the box, wrapped it around his head, cried out, “I’m Pretty Rambo!” and then pretended to machine-gun the living room. “I’m so pretty!”

It was quite funny. Especially if you’ve just eaten 37 chocolates.

Reader Comments (24)

oh my gosh that is freakin hilarious!
February 13, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterLou
Third reason: those aren't just *any* chocolates. I got mall chocolate. Sigh.
February 14, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterWeeze
Those two reasons alone are plenty. I want my own Pretty Rambo to buy me chocolate, but I'll probably have to settle for Drummer Nerd Dude, unfestooned by ribbons, taking me out to dinner. Not funny and there's no chocolate involved, but what're you gonna do?
February 14, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterJane
I just discovered your blog and I loved this story!I'll be back for more.Pretty Rambo! Hilarious.
February 14, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterNicole
I hate leaving comments where I jsut say, HAAAAAAAA.

But here it is.
February 14, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterMelissaS
That's awesome. I can totally picture him doing Pretty Rambo. I still have a faint bruise from when Henry attacked my knee with his train station, by the way, though I consider it a mark of love.

I'm spending my Valentine's Day with Samantha, Carrie, Charlotte, and Miranda.
February 14, 2005 | Unregistered Commenterdebl
That's awesome. I can totally picture him doing Pretty Rambo. I still have a faint bruise from when Henry attacked my knee with his train station, by the way, though I consider it a mark of love.

I'm spending my Valentine's Day with Samantha, Carrie, Charlotte, and Miranda.
February 14, 2005 | Unregistered Commenterdebl
This pretty rambo amuses me.
February 14, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterKelly AKA Fat Housewife
awesome. i am going to cherish the image in my head of this misadventure for at least the next twenty or thirty minutes, if not straight through into lunchtime.
February 14, 2005 | Unregistered Commenterwix
HA! Pretty Rambo. That is funny shit.
February 14, 2005 | Unregistered Commentersac
And here I was, ten straight days without thinking of Rambo. Damn you!
February 14, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterMrs. Kennedy
Heee Heee! I can just imagine my ding-dong husband doing much the same. Although his version went something like this:Him: You like zee roses.No?Me: They're gorgeous.Him: Ahagh-haghn-haghn (that's his retarded french accent)Me: (rolling eyes and sighing dramatically)Him: (Plucking a rose and inserting in his mouth.) Shall we rumba?I'll take Rambo anyday.
February 14, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterFabGirlie
"pretty rambo" is hilarious. he sounds like my husband, but funnier.
February 14, 2005 | Unregistered Commenterpart-timer
FabGirlie... Are you sure we don't share a husband? Because my husband does that exact same outrageous french accent. Though you spelled it much more expressively than I would have managed.

Though my husband would never ask me to dance on a whim, so maybe not.
February 14, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterLiz
You two sound like you have so much fun!
February 15, 2005 | Unregistered Commentergroovebunny
There are chocolates that come in a chocolate box? And here I was licking the inside of my plain old cardboard heart box after all the chocolates had been consumed by myself in 2.5 seconds.
February 15, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterVery Mom
All I can think is, "That's where adorable Henry must get it" It sounds just like a grown-up Henry.
February 15, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterMia C.
I think Pretty Rambo would be hilarious even if you WEREN'T hopped up on sugar and caffeine.
February 16, 2005 | Unregistered Commentermelhope
Laughing till there were tears. Which is why I try not to read you at work.
February 16, 2005 | Unregistered Commenteremma
Wow. That sounds wonderful and yet very, very odd.

For Valentine's Day, I went to see Hitch with my two best friends. Nothing says romance like three extremely single women watching a romantic comedy.
February 16, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterDM
my first born had blocked tear ducts and was in a constant state of yellow eyed goopiness. except for when we were in california OR at his grandmommie's house. the conclusion is as you suspect, i am a filthy wretch of a mother who should be shot at dawn.

will you join me?

an aside, how can california have been better for his little eyeballs? how? i ask you how?
February 17, 2005 | Unregistered Commenterhonestyrain
how did i manage to put that comment in the wrong post? further proof that i am far too pathetic to live.
February 17, 2005 | Unregistered Commenterhonestyrain
I have just one word for Pretty Rambo - awesome.

Way too hilarious!!!

February 24, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterR
OMW!! That was so funny, the visual is BLOWING MY MIND!!!
March 9, 2005 | Unregistered Commentereddo

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