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Let's Panic: The Book!

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How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant
who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain,
and Finally Turn You
into a Worthwhile
Human Being.

Written by Alice Bradley and Eden Kennedy

Some Books
I'm In...

Sleep Is
For The Weak

Chicago Review Press

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Let's Panic

The site that inspired the book!

At LET'S PANIC ABOUT BABIES, Eden Kennedy and I share our hard-won wisdom and tell you exactly what to think and feel and do, whether you're about to have a baby or already did and don't know what to do with it. → 

« I recover; Henry planders. | Main | I am SO FAMOUS NOW. »

One more about the drugs.

I have been completely Effexor-free for, oh, a little over a week now. My emotions are back to normal; I believe that my term as Crazy Crying Lady has ended. This would be good news were it not for the fact that I happen to be dying. I think there was a little heroin mixed in with the Effexor and no one told me. I’ve been enjoying a fascinating variety of physical sensations. Hot! Cold! Hot and cold at the same time! Queasy! Starving! Racked with stomach pain! Nauseated and starving and trembling like a damp Chihuahua! Today has been spent curled up in various locations around the apartment. Next to Henry’s train set. Abutting the Galaxy of Star Wars Guys. And, of course, on the couch.

I’m so tired that I fell asleep in mid-sentence while conversing with Henry, who did not appreciate this. He has told me, in no uncertain terms, that he is not pleased with my performance lately. The mother of yore, who would take him to the playground and/or build Jedi starfighters out of play dough, has been replaced by weird shaky mom who lifts her head from the pillow to ask him if he wouldn’t mind watching a little more TV. The answer to that question, incidentally, is “Normally I would relish the opportunity to watch television until my brain falls out through my slack mouth, but today I would rather force you to rise from your prone position and make you twirl around with me, so start twirling, queasy lady.”

On the other hand, Henry basically potty-trained himself last week. I brought up the topic, and he put his hand on my arm and all but said, “Why don’t you let me take care of that.” I wasn’t sure if I needed to provide a reward system, some stickers or M&Ms or maybe some Effexor capsules, but as it turned out, for Henry the reward was in the doing. All I had to do was rush to the toilet whenever he had done his thing and provide the appropriate accolades. Then Henry flushed and I returned to my lovely couch.

I’d like to feel better soon, but on the other hand if I keep this up he’s going to teach himself how to dress himself. And cook. And read. And start a blog called “My Deadbeat Mother.”


Reader Comments (54)

Jay, how old is your son? I know new research is being done on how harmful these drugs are to kids. Glad to hear he's doing better.
December 10, 2005 | Unregistered Commenteralice
I've detoxed off of the ole Effexor (or "crack-exor" as I now refer to it) was horrible. My sympathies. The only thing worse than going off was staying on.
December 12, 2005 | Unregistered Commenterstelthgrrl
when my husband got off effexor (too quickly we learned too late) it was the most horrible experience I have ever witnessed. He was terribly ill, had dementia and a variety of other symptoms that I care not to recall.Hope you are well

December 14, 2005 | Unregistered Commenterlaurie
ahhh! *sigh* I remember bristle blocks~
December 21, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterAnnejelynn

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