Love is coming to us all
March 24, 2011I am seven. In our finished basement, I have fashioned a complicated hanging platform meant for my brother's unfortunate GI Joe. As I lead him up the steps to his noose, I sing "Seasons in the Sun," quietly, and cry.
And my parents wondered why I didn't have more friends.
Jenny From the Block
I don't know how it got into my head, but Henry was a newborn, I was out of my mind from sleep deprivation, and I sang it to him for months. I rewrote the lyrics:
Don't be fooled by the poop that he's got
He's still Henry from the block
used to poop a little now he poops a lot
no matter where he poops he knows where he poops from
(from the butt!)
Listen, I was really tired.
No Sleep 'Til Brooklyn
So what if I didn't get a role in the school musical? Who cares if it's my senior year and I always got a lead part and this time they stuck me in the chorus? And all my friends have big parts and now they're all acting all special and also not really talking to me? I'm going to play Beastie Boys in my car so loud that that old lady pulling up in the other lane gets all frowny! Whatever, GRANDMA!
Moonshadow
The grape drink they give us at day camp tastes like the paper spout you drink from and leaves your mouth all puckery. I always try to get a second one.
You Are Too Beautiful
Scott and I shuffle around on the dance floor while everyone watches us. They probably think we've taken dance lessons because it's our wedding, after all, but within seconds it's apparent that we've never seen the inside of a dance studio. Our guest turn back to their conversations and leave us alone. Which is fine by us.
I discover Crosby Stills & Nash (and sometimes Young!) my sophomore year of college. Somehow I missed them growing up, and now I can't get enough. I'm undoubtedly driving my hallmates crazy, but whatever, at least I'm not the girl who opens her door and blasts Erasure until we threaten to call campus police.
Dance party in the kitchen. Henry, it turns out, does an excellent Robot. Scott comes home from work while we're jumping up and down, and without taking his coat off, he joins us.
I'm sitting in my crib, which my sister has covered with a large cotton blanket. I hear voices on the other side, calling to me. Soon a smiling head will peek in, then disappear. Until then I cram my fist in my mouth and bounce up and down, ready for whatever happens next.
Reader Comments (39)
No Super Poop?
(He's a very poopy boy/The kind you hand off to his mother/You have got to get that diaper off/You have got to get him clean/That boy is super poopy/That boy is not too neat/Super poop! Super poop! He's super poopy/He needs wipes! He needs wipes!/Indeeeeed)
It's the sort of song a child can learn and sing at diaper time, which really impresses the daycare ladies.
I am hoping to trigger a string of comments that are all other families' poop songs. You're welcome.
Slim, you know how to get the conversation going! I'm inviting you to my next cocktail party.
Ok, here's mine. Short but sweet. And you can add some killer dances moves (a la Beyonce).
"All the stinky babies, all the stinky babies/All the stinky babies, all the stinky babies/Now put yo legs UP."
Lovely vignettes. (And thanks to Slim I will have "Super Poop" stuck in my head for days.)
Great post...I actually have met Terry Jacks a number of times (he lives in a small village in BC Canada where we lived) and he would be very impresssed on the use of of Seasons in the Sun....umm no....
I made up a song for diaper changes, but to the beat of my own (very out of tune) drum. Okay, drums can't be out of tune.
WORK WITH ME!
"Naked bummies in the breeze!
Bummie, bummie, bummie!
NAKED BUMMIES IN THE BREEZE!
Bummie, bummie, bummie!
We've got naked bums, and naked bums, and NAAAAAAKED BAAAAABY BUMMIES!"
If only you could hear it live. I know, you're all devastated.
Love this. Please, please, please write a memoir. You manage poignant and funny so deftly.
If I had an award to give you for this post, I would totally do that. I loved it THAT MUCH.
That last one in particular is one of the most beautiful things I've ever read.
That's funny. I have songs that equal specific memories too! I suppose that we all do. Of course, I rarely knew the proper words as I was born without a memory so I too make up the words that work for me.
Beautiful. Thank you.
I love them all but the last one blew my socks off. Such a talented writer you are. Thanks for sharing.
Greer, we could re-write Beyonce together! While dressing my daughter she often hears:
"If you like it then you should have put some pants on it, If you like it then you should have put some pants on it, Don't be mad once you see that you're pants-less, If you like it then you should have put some pants on it, oh oh oh!"
An Erasure reference on a Thursday is almost too much to bear.
Love every one of these!!! That song is priceless. I don't remember any poopy pants songs I would sing to my son as a baby. I am sure I had one....I wish I could remember it!!
I still can't believe you called campus police on me. Who doesn't like Erasure? A little respect...
Hey! Erasure is my default lawn-mowing music on the iPod. Not sure why. As long as the mower is running, I'm fine. But when I stop to pull some weeds, the neighbors look at me funny as I belt out Respect in my mighty falsetto.
Loved the vignettes!
You are so awesome. I'm totally stealing this idea (with your permission) because songs reference such important and totally mundane points in life so beautifully. Thank you, Alice!
p.s. My friend got me "Let's Panic About Babies" and I sat there and read it until the baby himself began to jiggle as well as my belly from my laughter.
I love this. And, we did take dance lessons for our wedding, but we still shuffled around the floor. It was the only time we really got to talk the whole day, and also my very favorite moment of our wedding.
I'm sorry, did we have the same life? Give me my soundtrack back! Only thing missing is "Cecilia" by Simon & Garfunkel.
Oh Greer, I love it! That song can go anywhere, really, it just has so many possibilities.
This post made me sad, but in a good way.
That last one made my eyes prick with tears a bit...
so.very.sweet.
I am, at this moment, sleep deprived and nursing a newborn and all of these poop songs are almost making me look forward to the next diaper change. Wow. I must be more sleep deprived than I thought.
Beautiful.
We sing "The baby needs a'changing." I especially like the part that goes "Get the dipes and the wipes and YOUR DAD over here, 'cause the baby needs a changing."
I smell a stink and it's coming quite near/ I have a feeling that it's you my dear/ so I hold you up and smell your rear and my face is rearranging/ Get the dipes and the wipes and your dad over hear/ cause the baby needs a changin'