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Let's Panic: The Book!

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How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant
who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain,
and Finally Turn You
into a Worthwhile
Human Being.

Written by Alice Bradley and Eden Kennedy

Some Books
I'm In...

Sleep Is
For The Weak

Chicago Review Press

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Let's Panic

The site that inspired the book!

At LET'S PANIC ABOUT BABIES, Eden Kennedy and I share our hard-won wisdom and tell you exactly what to think and feel and do, whether you're about to have a baby or already did and don't know what to do with it.

Lets-Panic.com → 

« Ladies and gentlemen: we have a book deal. | Main | Elsewhere »
Thursday
Oct292009

Learning opportunities are everywhere

Henry and I got on the subway and sat next to a man who was, it soon became clear, mentally unwell. Specifically, he was railing against people who were not there, and using all manner of bad words. So I suggested that we move, and we got up and moved, and that was that. Henry was chatting with me and anyone who'd look at him about Bionicles and I was sure he didn't notice a thing.

A few minutes later he asked, "What was wrong with that man?"

So I went on to explain how sometimes people are sick in their heads, and how sad and upsetting is for them.

Henry: Why did we move?

Me: Well, he seemed agitated, and it just seemed better to keep our distance. Did you hear how he was using bad words? He seemed really angry.

Henry: What are bad words?

Me: You know. Curse words. Bad words.

Henry: Yeah, but like what?

Me: Really, you don't know? Do you not live with your dad? Ever heard him after he breaks something?

Henry (lowering his voice conspiratorially): Is shoot a curse word?

Me: Not really, no.

Henry: So tell me a curse word.

Me: No.

Henry: Would you just say one.

Me: I can't curse into your sweet little face. Come on.

Henry: If you don't tell me what a curse is I'll never know what not to say.

Me: Okay. Okay, FINE. Shit.

Henry (loudly): SHIT? SHIT is a curse word? You say SHIT all the time! You curse in front of me!?

Me: I do not. Your father does. Please get the two of us straight.

Henry: I don't know, "shoot" sounds worse to me. Because it's like guns.

Me: You're absolutely right. Stick with "shoot." Much worse.

Reader Comments (32)

my daughter is 3 and likes to randomly tell anyone with ears "my mom sometimes says Sh*t and f*ck, but she shouldn't. she's too pretty to say those ugly words, sh*t and f*ck. sh*t and f*ck are dirty words! I NEVER say sh*t OR f*ck" MOTHER OF THE YEAR right here, people!
November 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjessica
That had me in stitches xD An absolutely brilliant read!
November 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSimply Yum
AFter a recent trip home to Montreal, my son said Tabernaque...a Quebec swear word he heard from me...luckily no one in Italy knows it's a curse word in quebecois....
November 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnna
This is so funny! I will share with my mom friends!
November 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLesley Kelly
My hubby plays this online battle-type game with his brother quite often (I guess it's a guy thing) and they talk via MSN messenger while doing it. Quite often my hubby's "men" get their butts kicked, which causes a very vivid, blue streak of words to come flying out of hubby's mouth.

A few weeks ago hubby was starting his game and my youngest turns to her sister and says "Oh, Daddy's playing his game. He's going to start swearing soon." And then she closed the door to the computer room.

Thank goodness at least someone in our house has some decency. :)
November 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSurviving Lotus Land
I've gotten to the point where I obnoxiously "SHHHhhhhh!" my friends if they utter so much as a "crap". WHich of course calls more attention to it...
November 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStacey Harter

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