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Let's Panic: The Book!

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How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant
who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain,
and Finally Turn You
into a Worthwhile
Human Being.

Written by Alice Bradley and Eden Kennedy

Some Books
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Sleep Is
For The Weak

Chicago Review Press

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Let's Panic

The site that inspired the book!

At LET'S PANIC ABOUT BABIES, Eden Kennedy and I share our hard-won wisdom and tell you exactly what to think and feel and do, whether you're about to have a baby or already did and don't know what to do with it. → 

« Here I am! | Main | What not to make. »

Just your average Tuesday.

I walked Henry to school today and walked most of the way back home before realizing that I had a wooden hanger hanging from the belt on the back of my coat.  A large, wooden hanger. 

I'm telling you this to illustrate 1) how much of a dork I am and 2) how mentally and physically worn out I still am from yesterday's shoot. I have no idea why I should be this tired, because most of my day yesterday was spent sitting around.  It was too much excitement for me, I guess. I am even more delicate than I believed.  Or my humours are out of whack. A bloodletting is in order!

So! Yesterday was the photo shoot for Wondertime, as I mentioned previously.  Present were Tim and Liz, the lovely and kind art directors from Wondertime, as well as Asger and Lloyd, the infinitely patient photographer and his charming assistant. Henry, Scott, and I were outfitted and posed and fed snacks. And we had so much fun. Draining, life-sapping fun. Here are the photos. If they don't make sense to you, well, you'll have to wait for the May issue of Wondertime to come out. Maybe you should subscribe!  That's an idea I spontaneously had right now. (Please note: I am not receiving kickbacks from Wondertime.)  (Unfortunately.)

<Darth Vader, taking direction

Here's Henry, getting notes on what his motivation should be. "You're Darth Vader, coming out of the shower." How sweet does he look here? It's kind of killing me. Of course you can't hear him whining about the unbearable weight of the light saber, and the fact that the mask was choking him TO DEATH.

The Dark Side, emerging from the tub

"What are you doing in the bathroom, son?"

Henry was amazing, actually. The mask was heavy, the light saber was heavy, the shirt was chafing him, the fog from the fog machine smelled funny, and it was hard to hear everyone's direction over the sound effects coming from the light saber, but my baby posed for longer than I ever could have anticipated. 

On the other hand, he got to play with incredibly cool light sabers. They're worlds away from the crappy telescoping plastic kind we own. It must be horrible, having us as his parents.

Scott, still being Luke

Scott worked until 2:30 a.m. that morning, so he could spend his day pretending to be Luke Skywalker. Did he do it for me? I like to think so.

Charlie wanted in on the shot.

We tried to include Charlie in a shot or two, but he was being a prima donna about it—only letting us shoot his right profile because that's his signature look, etc. He didn't make the cut. Sorry, dog.

Henry and Liz.

Henry declined the use of the mask for his Ultimate Battle with Obi Wan, so Liz gave him the option of giant movie-star sunglasses and a headband. It doesn't sound like it would work, but it worked well enough. Bonus: Henry didn't throw himself to the ground in mortal agony.

Henry, preparing for battle

"Can you be a dear and get me a glass of sparkling water? With a little lemon juice? Not a wedge of lemon, dear, I DON'T WANT TO SEE ANY LEMON, just sort of a lemon essence. Wait a minute, is this pulp? I see? That's it, you're fired."

Obi Wan and Darth battle it out some more

Henry kept asking Scott, "When are you going to fall down and die?" Not for a few years, son, so meanwhile you and your Oedipal struggle best hush up.

Kitchen on fire!

I contemplated uploading this to Finslippy yesterday and asking, "Is this a bad sign?" Ha, ha! It's just a fog machine in my oven. DON'T PANIC.

Help me, Obi Wan. You're my only hope.

The photographer kept saying that he wanted to make me look "elegant," which I thought was a lovely sentiment, considering that I was wearing cinnamon buns on my head and a pom-pommed bathrobe from Target.

Henry, after the shoot

When the shoot was over (seven hours, my friends! SEVEN) Tim and Liz gave Henry not one, but TWO of the light sabers. Was he excited? A LITTLE BIT. I'm still amazed that we got him to sleep, or eat, or stop trying to amputate our limbs for more than two minutes.

So that's our story! Aaaand now I'm going back to bed. Wake me when the issue comes out. Thank you.

Reader Comments (87)

Wooden hanger...oh with shame I admit I've been there. I once walked my daughter to school with a pair of her underwear static clinged to my back. The powers of fleece and static are not to be reckoned with. As for the photo shoot....we are still waiting to see a close-up of your stylish hairdo!
February 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChristy
HAHAHAHAHA I needed this laugh!

Also: this is so. cool.
February 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnna
We have to wait to see your buns?! LOL!

Hot damn, Alice, this is hilarious and everyone looks great.
February 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMeg
Now I doupbly can't wait for the May issue - I love Wondertime; it's a great magazine!
February 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCorasmom
I am still laughing about the coat hanger.

I can imagine doing the same thing.
February 7, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterthe mama bird diaries
I think we can all relate to the hanger, though not so much to the pseudo-Star Wars photo shoot.

I think I will hang a hanger on my belt from now on any time I feel I need to let everyone know how brain-scatteringly exhausted I am.
February 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLiteralDan
With re: your wooden hanger stuck to your belt, I feel your embarrassment. I once walked through a department store with a plastic hanger, BRA AND TAGS STILL ATTACHED, hanging off the back of my sweater.

February 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCat
"A blood letting is in order!"

I love you. Or at least your use of the language, always. (Surely it is the same thing?)
February 8, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterfalwyn
Your floors are GORGEOUS.
February 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLisa
I'm with Isabel, is the trashcan R2D2? "Help me, Obi-Wan Hefty, you're my only hope!" bahahaha
February 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnne
I might have forced the Yoda ears on the dog, but otherwise looks like a totally great shoot. Congrats on all the exciting stuff. Whoo!
February 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMom101
Ok, I'm sad about the buns. I really wanted to see those buns.

But, fyi? I think that Henry will now NEVER have to attend therapy. Because when everyone else is bitching about how their parents deprived them of things, he will shrug and go, "My childhood was full of light sabers. I was pretty happy."
February 8, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterlis
Holy smokin' oven, Vader!

That's fantastic! Can't wait to get the article!
February 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTSM
This is wild. Very, very wild. Can't wait to see your Princess do!
February 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJen
Light Sabres! Do we all get one?
February 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWillThink4Wine
I love your house. It looks like an interesting day.
February 8, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterpatience
This is very exciting, although Bossy is more than a little worried about the plutonium in the light saber.
February 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBOSSY
loved yr flickr setso awesomecan't wait to read yr wordsxo
February 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteramy
good googly. what awesome thing happened in your house?? i am so confused. and also very curious.
February 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterkat f.
How fun! Can't wait to read the issue when it comes out!
February 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterEsther
February 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSassy
Your oven looks like my oven. Sans fog machine.
February 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBuffy
Very, very cool...
February 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCollege Mama
Just going over to the dark side, huh? Kinda reminds me of the little green man under the sink who spoke to my boy. Maybe he was just Yoda? I left you a little gift over on my blog.
February 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterShellie
I also say that the photos are wonderful and the experience sounds so great - but the best part of this post is the beginning: A WOODEN HANGER. Oh yes, that is so up my alley. It's my sign that I'm not alone out here in this great big world of idiotic happenings! Thanks for making my day.
February 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCalamity Jane

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