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Let's Panic: The Book!

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How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant
who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain,
and Finally Turn You
into a Worthwhile
Human Being.

Written by Alice Bradley and Eden Kennedy

Some Books
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Sleep Is
For The Weak

Chicago Review Press

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Let's Panic

The site that inspired the book!

At LET'S PANIC ABOUT BABIES, Eden Kennedy and I share our hard-won wisdom and tell you exactly what to think and feel and do, whether you're about to have a baby or already did and don't know what to do with it. → 

« Here I am! | Main | What not to make. »

Just your average Tuesday.

I walked Henry to school today and walked most of the way back home before realizing that I had a wooden hanger hanging from the belt on the back of my coat.  A large, wooden hanger. 

I'm telling you this to illustrate 1) how much of a dork I am and 2) how mentally and physically worn out I still am from yesterday's shoot. I have no idea why I should be this tired, because most of my day yesterday was spent sitting around.  It was too much excitement for me, I guess. I am even more delicate than I believed.  Or my humours are out of whack. A bloodletting is in order!

So! Yesterday was the photo shoot for Wondertime, as I mentioned previously.  Present were Tim and Liz, the lovely and kind art directors from Wondertime, as well as Asger and Lloyd, the infinitely patient photographer and his charming assistant. Henry, Scott, and I were outfitted and posed and fed snacks. And we had so much fun. Draining, life-sapping fun. Here are the photos. If they don't make sense to you, well, you'll have to wait for the May issue of Wondertime to come out. Maybe you should subscribe!  That's an idea I spontaneously had right now. (Please note: I am not receiving kickbacks from Wondertime.)  (Unfortunately.)

<Darth Vader, taking direction

Here's Henry, getting notes on what his motivation should be. "You're Darth Vader, coming out of the shower." How sweet does he look here? It's kind of killing me. Of course you can't hear him whining about the unbearable weight of the light saber, and the fact that the mask was choking him TO DEATH.

The Dark Side, emerging from the tub

"What are you doing in the bathroom, son?"

Henry was amazing, actually. The mask was heavy, the light saber was heavy, the shirt was chafing him, the fog from the fog machine smelled funny, and it was hard to hear everyone's direction over the sound effects coming from the light saber, but my baby posed for longer than I ever could have anticipated. 

On the other hand, he got to play with incredibly cool light sabers. They're worlds away from the crappy telescoping plastic kind we own. It must be horrible, having us as his parents.

Scott, still being Luke

Scott worked until 2:30 a.m. that morning, so he could spend his day pretending to be Luke Skywalker. Did he do it for me? I like to think so.

Charlie wanted in on the shot.

We tried to include Charlie in a shot or two, but he was being a prima donna about it—only letting us shoot his right profile because that's his signature look, etc. He didn't make the cut. Sorry, dog.

Henry and Liz.

Henry declined the use of the mask for his Ultimate Battle with Obi Wan, so Liz gave him the option of giant movie-star sunglasses and a headband. It doesn't sound like it would work, but it worked well enough. Bonus: Henry didn't throw himself to the ground in mortal agony.

Henry, preparing for battle

"Can you be a dear and get me a glass of sparkling water? With a little lemon juice? Not a wedge of lemon, dear, I DON'T WANT TO SEE ANY LEMON, just sort of a lemon essence. Wait a minute, is this pulp? I see? That's it, you're fired."

Obi Wan and Darth battle it out some more

Henry kept asking Scott, "When are you going to fall down and die?" Not for a few years, son, so meanwhile you and your Oedipal struggle best hush up.

Kitchen on fire!

I contemplated uploading this to Finslippy yesterday and asking, "Is this a bad sign?" Ha, ha! It's just a fog machine in my oven. DON'T PANIC.

Help me, Obi Wan. You're my only hope.

The photographer kept saying that he wanted to make me look "elegant," which I thought was a lovely sentiment, considering that I was wearing cinnamon buns on my head and a pom-pommed bathrobe from Target.

Henry, after the shoot

When the shoot was over (seven hours, my friends! SEVEN) Tim and Liz gave Henry not one, but TWO of the light sabers. Was he excited? A LITTLE BIT. I'm still amazed that we got him to sleep, or eat, or stop trying to amputate our limbs for more than two minutes.

So that's our story! Aaaand now I'm going back to bed. Wake me when the issue comes out. Thank you.

Reader Comments (87)

Sorry, Diane, there were some other pictures up, but we (Wondertime and I) decided it was giving away the joke. You'll have to wait for the issue to come out to see my buns.
February 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteralice
i adore wondertime & i can't wait to see you all in looks so fun!
February 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteremilyruth
How cool are those light sabers? My boys are standing over my shoulder just drooling with jealousy. Would Henry like some new, avaricious playmates by any chance?And congrats!
February 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteredj
Absolutely hilarious.

*drumming fingers until May*
February 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterwhoorl
It seriously looks like you're oven was possessed, and about to start shooting flames all about your house.

Possibly because the cinnamon buns were on your head, and not inside the oven, where they rightfully belong.

I'll definitely have to check out the upcoming issue, so I won't be in the dark about the whole Star Wars theme. But it looks like it was much fun!
February 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnna
"Henry kept asking Scott, 'When are you going to fall down and die?' Not for a few years, son, so meanwhile you and your Oedipal struggle best hush up."

One of the funniest lines I've read EVER - ANYWHERE.
February 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSonja
Did you get to snack on the cinnamon buns?JulesHouse of Jules

February 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjules
Every time you post pictures with your house in it, I notice how lovely it is. And your son too, of course :-).
February 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKidKate
What a clever scheme to make us all forget about the WOODEN HANGER ALICE.

Awesome pictures! Can't wait to see the whole bit! And congratulations on your contribution to the anthology. :)
February 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersveedish
I will do it whatever it takes to make you all forget about the wooden hanger! WHATEVER IT TAKES.
February 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteralice
Yes, lovely; but did you get to eat the hairy buns???
February 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDory
Love love LOVE your bathroom. Is that tub original??

(Can you tell I have no children and would rather spend my time learning about home repair? But Henry is still ridiculously adorable to my non-maternal self.)
February 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKaty
de-lurking to say:

You are not a dork! You are wonderfully FUNNY!

Great bathroom, by the way.
February 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commentercartoongoddess
Hi Katy: I'm pretty sure the tub is original. It's a little too small for bathing adults, sadly, but we still like it.

It's the ONLY bathroom in the house, did I mention? And that I had to run to the neighbor's house to pee, while Henry was being photographed?
February 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteralice
Oh. My. Lord.

That "diva" pic is hilarious!
February 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJoey
Thank god I start working at the Place Where Wondertime is Built in a few weeks, and I can check out the layout then. Heh heh!
February 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterdebl
Oh cool! I happened to read a wondertime magazine for the very first time today while waiting for a doctor's apt. I even tore out the subscription card and dropped it in the mail without even knowing that you might have a spread in it!

So now I am even more happy! What a great decision I made! I can't wait to see how this all turned out!
February 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSAJ
I subscribe to WONDERTIME, which is how I found your amazingly spunky, intelligently written, humor infested blog in the first place.I love coming here. I pick my toes, drink my coffee and take it all in....but, sometimes, I choke on my coffee cuz of how funny you are, but I still come back for more.I cannot wait to see the new article on your family. Ya bunch-o-supermodels!
February 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSassy
You are not tired. You feel perfectly fine. There was no hanger.
February 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJenn @ Juggling Life
Do the light sabers make the Whoooommmm noise ?
February 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterbirchsprite
Oh, they sure do.
February 7, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteralice
OK, this is a total sidenote, but I am dying!!! The colander thing? See, we build websites at work, and they collect a lot of data, and it started as a joke like 5 years ago that we just needed to make a Mind Meld Data Collector for our users, to avoid all that silly typing. And we even made a model of it, with a colander that would sit on their head and extract their info, etc. THAT LOOKS JUST LIKE THAT THING!

And then it got funnier and funnier, where we could use the Mind Meld Data Collector for clients who were late with their content, just set it on their heads and extract it - viola!

CLEARLY I need to get our patent in motion because the word is OUT!
February 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAimee Greeblemonkey
The photos are funny; I can't wait to see the article. I picked up their latest issue this weekend, and saw your blog mentioned in the article "Confessions of a Mommy Blogger." I'm going to have to subscribe now.
February 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnne
Okay, I don't know what everyone is talking about with the whole light sabers and Darth Vader stuff.....I never got past the vision of you walking down the street with the wooden hanger attached to your rear! Imagine the giggles you gave to everyone along the way. God--I love it!!
February 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNancy
what great memories to have and then also recorded in Wondertime!

Also, is that stainless steel trash bin supposed to be R2D2?

February 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterIsabel Kallman

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