Introducing…

I am kind of unbearably excited to unveil the hitherto-unnamed project to which I’ve been referring for the last few weeks. So here we go:

Eden Marriott Kennedy and I are proud to announce our new website, LET'S PANIC ABOUT BABIES!

LET'S PANIC ABOUT BABIES! is meant to be a helpful and soothing companion during your child-bearing and –raising years. In this comprehensive and frighteningly detailed site, we answer such questions as, should I avoid cats? (Answer: more than you know.) Or how did this baby get in me? (Science has yet to find an answer to this mystery.) Or why does my baby’s head smell so good? (When no one’s looking, babies rub a special balm into their bald little heads: a patented blend of civet musk, tapioca powder, and holy water. )

So. If you want to be comforted by the knowledge that your newborn baby is not the only one who looks like Ernest Borgnine, or if you're wondering why a t-shirt is the most tasteful way to tell the world you're expecting, look no further!

Please note: LET’S PANIC ABOUT BABIES! is not just for people who are about to give birth, are currently giving birth, or have recently given birth. I have been told that the site is an important source of information even if you never intend to have a baby or, indeed, if you hate the very sight of them. So please, go there. Read. Continue to read, as we will be updating weekly. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as we cracked ourselves up writing it.

[final update: after some server troubles, all is now well. The End.]

Comments

[Jennifer]

OMG. So freaking funny, I was crying (not from your announcement, of course, but from the new website). I love the advertisements on the right side of the screen, especially the one paid for by Not the Catholic Church.

[Emily]

"Welcome, tiny overlords" = AWESOME!

[Jamie]

ah, ahahahahahahahahaha the BabyGloss ad

[desiree fawn]

So exciting!!

[Masha]

Alice Bradley! I'm laughing my ass off! At work! What have you done!!!

[Miss Grace]

Excellent. Most excellent.

[Assertagirl]

As someone who as recently as last week vowed never again to enter "The Bump," this is, indeed, exciting news!

[theambershow]

Dude. We crashed your site.

[SheSquared]

Congrats! Looks amazingly awesome. :)

[Amanda]

Oh wow, this is so great. THIS is the kind of parenting website I want to read! The others, well, they kinda make me want to claw my eyes out. But the humor, I love it. THANK YOU!

[aimee]

Oh my god I cannot even read one line of this without falling over (with laughter). You have destroyed my productivity today. Thank you.

[laurie]

I'll always go for some more Alice humor. I'm calling the dingo now...

[Aalex]

Congratulations! Looks hilarious and awesome!

[Deanna]

Oh no! It won't open for me. You're just TOO popular!

[Liz Brooks]

Wow, that is awesome:)

[valerie]

ah! perfect timing! thank you thank you

[rhea]

Right On!

[partypants]

Everyone knows that Alices are funny people.

[Crunchy Carpets]

And being that I just had a telephone conversation with my midwife that involved terms like 'put your knees up' and 'in case the cord falls out of your vagina'

This site is very timely..

[Pupsicle]

That is FANTASTIC!

[PineappleBabble]

So funny! I'm afraid my Pineapple may be an alien...all the signs are there! *gulp*

[Al_Pal]

*snort*

Subcutaneous grapefruit. AWESOME.

[kate]

awesome. hysterical. please send ideas for distracting a 3 year old so i can sip cocktails (i mean coffee, ahem) and watch tv.

[Kerrie]

"Note: this is not a human baby" is brilliant. My younger sister is due in January - I'm sure she'll find tons of helpful advice. So much more than those "expecting " books! :)

[Bobbi Rightmyer]

Congrats!!