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Let's Panic: The Book!

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How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant
who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain,
and Finally Turn You
into a Worthwhile
Human Being.

Written by Alice Bradley and Eden Kennedy

Some Books
I'm In...

Sleep Is
For The Weak

Chicago Review Press

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Let's Panic

The site that inspired the book!

At LET'S PANIC ABOUT BABIES, Eden Kennedy and I share our hard-won wisdom and tell you exactly what to think and feel and do, whether you're about to have a baby or already did and don't know what to do with it. → 

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If you're wondering where I am



I am vacuuming. I am planting mums. I am mulching like the world's supply of mulch is almost gone. I am polishing the faucets. I am organizing the shit out of my house. My closets are spectacular. My kitchen cabinets would bring you to tears. Meanwhile, Scott is replacing the shutters and painting the trim and the radiators and all the scuffed corners of the house. Our house is looking increasingly spectacular by the day. Why didn't we do this before? Because we weren't selling our house before. That would be why.

More later about why and where we're going. Just know that I am thinking of you, as I fluff the towels and bleach the grout. Thinking of you, and wishing you had a tall ladder and a fervent desire to wash my windows.

Reader Comments (62)

Are you moving to Utah???? Good luck!
October 21, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKB
Oh, please bring the cleaning vibes over here! How I would love me some bleached out grout.
October 21, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMamaCass
Come home, come home...Brooklyn misses you and wants you back.
October 21, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNotFace
Good luck with your sale. We closed on our house on Friday - we sold in 3 1/2 months which was much quicker than we expected and we got the offer we wanted. We sold so quickly in fact that we didn't have time to find another house in the nearby town that we want to move to. We are renting and looking. Stay positive and it will all work out.
October 21, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRen275
Ah, the post-with-news-but-no-information, also known as the 'I really want some attention so I'll artificially generate a buzz.' Best of luck in your move. You're not crazy to move in this market, everything's slumped, and you're already on the property ladder. The only crazy thing would be to sell to pull your money out completely, and you may find the 'rungs' on the ladder are closer now than they were before.
October 21, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterstu
Ugh. And also Yay. We are doing exactly the same thing so this is super familiar. My house has never been and never will be this sparkly and staged and spotless again.

Good luck!
October 21, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterML
btdt, it will all be ok. thinking of you, alice ...
October 21, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterislaygirl
Forgive me if I'm telling you something you already know, but I learned it remarkably late in my house-cleaning life: Washing windows without a squeegee is like washing jeans without a washing machine. A squeegee, a bucket of water with a squirt of dish soap (glass cleaner not necessary), a rag to prevent the drips from hitting the carpet, and a wad of newspaper (or paper towels, if you prefer) to wipe away the wee streaks. The cleanest windows I've ever had, and in the shortest amount of time.
October 21, 2008 | Unregistered Commentertuckova
yes, isn't the way? My homes have all looked just the way I wanted them to look just before someone paid me $ for it. Before it went on the market, I wasn't as motivated. Where are my priorities? hmmph.
October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJoanna Schmidt
Sending good house-selling karma your way. Can't wait to hear the full story...
October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterElise
As an actual Realtor, I can say this: Bless Your Heart For Cleaning Your Home. You'd be amazed/horrified by the condition of some of the homes on the market right now. And then people wonder why they don't sell...

You're doing exactly the right things to make your home saleable. Price it right, and you'll be out of there in no time. Best wishes, and here's to a quick sale!
October 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterthe cheap chick
So back to renting?
October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRachel Cohen
Crazy, my ass. You never know how things are going to turn out. Last year we took a chunk of money out of our 401K when my husband lost his job. We felt massively guilty for taking away from out retirement.

Now we are thankful we at least got some of it before the market tanked.

If this is the time you need or want to sell your house, it's the perfect time.
October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLisa V
oh goodness.take a break and tell us the story.
October 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterchristina(apronstrings)
Dearest Alice,

We are currently getting our guest cottage ready for you. The West welcomes you with open arms.


October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHeyJoe
Now, now. She won't really be gone, not from the Internet neighborhood, where it matters.

Will you???
October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKate
If only you could pass that motivation, if it comes, to clean the windows over to me too.Good luck selling your house... of course, now you'll wonder why you're selling it, because it will look so gorgeous.
October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSusiej
You are such a tease! First, a while back, you tweet about being bipolar, and then nary a follow-up! Now this! I need details! :)
October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSonja
Wait, didn't you just move into your house? Now I realize I have trouble with time, and tend to say "the other day," when I mean "when i was in kindergarten," but it seems recent in house-time.
October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJemima
No, no, no. Bad form Alice! You can't drop a bomb with no info! I can only hope that you're moving to Evanston, IL (only acceptable suburb of Chicago) to my block into the charming Victorian farmhouse listed for a very reasonable price. And your boy and my boy will become the best of Star Wars lovin' friends and we'll be BFFs. If it's not a move directly to my town then really I'm just even more depressed about the onslaught of winter. But I'll perk up if you post the big news soon. Best of luck with the staging and selling. I actually think it's a swell time to sell. Why the hell not?!?
October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterEmi
Good luck! If I still lived in NY, I'd gladly help you wash the windows. Helping others clean is so much more fun than doing my own.
October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterClair
Did Looky, Daddy! run you out of town? Tell the truth.
October 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterErika
I know! You are going to L.A.! There's going to do a show called 'The Alice Show' (the title 'Alice' having been taken, unfortunately). You're going to be famous, have a house in the Hollywood Hills.

It's easier now, with the whole reality TV thing. You don't have to pretend to be middle class like Lucy and Ricky and all that--you can just use the real you and you don't have to get a pretend job in a candy factory. Instead, we'll just watch your real antics.

Wooh! You're going to have maids to do the unscuffing, gardeners to mulch.

This is what should happen, anyway.
October 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterozma
I have to second Emi on Evanston, except you should NOT move into her Victorian farmhouse, as it is NOT next door to me. The house next door has been updated with all the mod cons (and was fine to start with) and sends to the best rated elementary school in town. Which is four houses away. Come over!
October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterVictoria
Isn't it funny how we live with our home for so long, and all it's worn down parts, then spruce it up for someone else to live in? We've done it several times, and I always think, "Why didn't we do this when WE lived here?" Probably because I hate to clean. So many other (better) things to do, like blog...
October 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHip Mom's Guide

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