If someone wrote a movie based on how I play with my son. Part I: Action movie.

Two men lie among blown-up vehicles of all kinds. The random vehicle components are hard to identify, as if they're all generic pieces that could fit any particular way into each other.

Man 1 (sitting up): I am going to build my space probe. I'm Han Solo.

Man 2 (also sitting up): Uh, me too. Wait, who am I?

Han Solo: Look at yourself.

Man 2: I seem to have a droid arm and the Joker's midsection and Princess Leia's head. This is very confusing.

Han Solo: No, you're Count Dooku. You're my sworn enemy.

Count Dooku: If you say so.

Count Dooku starts whaling on Han Solo.

Han Solo: NOT YET. First we have to build. All these pieces (sweeps hand toward left side of barren field) are for my deploying space probe. You have to use those other pieces.

Count Dooku: But there are only, like, a few wheels, and an axle. What can I build?

Han Solo: (shrugging) I don't know.

They build for what seems like hours. Count Dooku keeps giving up and lying down, until Han Solo yells at him to get back up.

Count Dooku: This is boring. Can we fight now? Or something?

Han Solo: Time to fight. Okay, I'm going to blast you with my space probe.

Count Dooku: I don’t think space probes are meant for blast—

Han Solo: You've been blasted.

Count Dooku: Oh, hell.

Han Solo: You're dead. Lie down.

Count Dooku lies down. Han Solo just stands there. Then he throws himself to the ground as well.

Roll credits.

Comments

[bea]

When's casting? I could totally play Count Dooku.

[Tracy]

I'm pretty sure Count Dooku had been knocked off (blasted?) before Han Solo came around.A sure sign I have been playing/listening to endless chatter/quizzed on Star Wars topics FAR TOO MUCH!I think of my characters lying down and playing dead as making it "fun" for my son... I mean, he really wants to win doesn't he?

[Kendra]

I actually enjoy all the building (especially since all our games prominently involve Legos). I was the one who never got around to playing Barbies because I was so busy setting up her house. But my 6-year-old actually wants to play! And sing theme songs to the movie he's making! So I end up feeling all arm-flailing incompetent, because I don't know how to make up stories, only how to set up for them in advance. I guess I'm the set designer in this movie.

[Masked Mom]

Reminds me of when my boys were little. My older son had a guy say: "Fire at will." and my younger son's guy said, "Who's Will?"

They're a junior and sophomore in college this year. I kind of miss all the "action" around here--ok, not really.

[Christian]

Oh when I read your blog I always think you are the funniest thing out there. I have a 5 y.o. boy and your posts just make me laugh so damn hard. I need to read your stuff more often, it so cheers me up.

[Lisa]

Oh, Count Dooku, Count Dooku. That is so my life.

I loved Star Wars growing up, and pretty much all my life, until my kids got obsessed and now I got blasted and light-sabered about 50,000 times a day. Now I'm about as enthusiastic about it as, well, you.

Loved this. Needed that laugh.