I still don't need glasses, by the way
March 13, 2012Yesterday we covered kindergarten, and you saw my squarehead and poor grades. In first grade my head became much more regular-shaped:
COME ON. I was so cute. (I remember being desperately in love with that dress. And then I spilled chocolate milk all over it during lunch that day. Heartbreak!)
While I don't have a copy of my actual grades (most of what I have here is what my parents pasted into a scrapbook for me), I do have some hilarious teacher comments.
You see that part about the glasses? Funny thing: I didn't wear glasses. What I did wear to school one day was an old pair of my sister's glasses. I must have stumbled around completely blind on that day. Then I came to school the next day with no glasses, and claimed they were getting repaired at the "Hillman-Cohen Vision Center," and until I got them back I was sadly unable to complete any work. This is not a real place. There was a Cohen's, but I added the "Hillman" for mysterious reasons. Maybe I thought if I made it extra Jewish it would be more believable?
I also like the part about how I Mother the other students. Capital M!
My first grade teacher was Mr. Enea, and I loved him. He let me read books from the sixth grade classroom, and he also let me go to the nurse's office whenever I asked to, which was an awful lot. (I was…anxious. You're surprised?) He was a warm and lighthearted teacher, and not someone who would yell at me for forgetting to put my coat in the right cubby. (I'm still mad at that kindergarten teacher! Boo! BOOO!) Mostly what I remember from that year was feeling relief. I could be weird and quirky and it was okay by Mr. Enea.
Next up: second grade. Also known as "The Year I Peed My Pants A Whole Bunch."
Reader Comments (18)
this one definitely beats yesterday's for cuteness. oh MY, look at you. you're all a-glow with youthful verve! I want to take you out for a soda-pop posthaste.
Man.
Alice, do you know what? This is in such a style of "A girl named Zippy" which is one of my favorite books in the world. So love that book that I keep it in my car, for the past ten years, to read over and over.
All this to say: a memoir from you. You would replace the Zippy in my car.
I LOVED THIS.
I boo the 5K teacher, too. I want to copy your idea...screw SOPA.
Screw that.
Copy my idea, Alexandra! You must! xo
I am smiling because almost everyone (usually) says that about early school photos: I loved that dress! This was my favorite vest. Teddy Ruxpin! On my sweater!
The last photo made me burst out laughing, though. Such happiness. Oh, to be a child again.
Those pictures are so sweet my heart just exploded. Tomorrow's post is making my palms sweaty. To see these photos and know that you were that stressed; that is extra heartbreaking.
What was with your teacher's handwriting? I'd expect that from a 10 year old, and when I say 10 year old, I mean 10 year old girl. But I guess he makes up for by being a nice guy. So forget the comment about his handwriting. Also don't start thinking about monkeys eating ice cream cones.
I love these posts! And it brings back memories of my being that age as well (I was also anxious sometimes as a child, and totally relate to the feelings you describe). Man, good times.
Hehehe! Great tactic there with the glasses excuse. I might have fallen for it!
I swear, a couple of those kids look exactly like kids from my school pictures! I guess 70s haircuts were pretty standard!
Isn't it cool that many years ago, your teacher said "you always has something interesting to tell the class" and now you're putting it into writing. I guess that's inborn talent.
Oh, Alice. This is gold. Thank you so much for posting it. The last picture made me craugh.
Also, I love that the teacher couldnt' be bothered to clean the blackboard before the class photo was taken.
But the blackboard couldn't be cleaned- it is marked "Please Save." That brought me right back to my own first grade experience.
Plus, see the smiley boy in front you? MY BROTHER HAD THAT SAME SHIRT!!! It just makes me smile to see it again.
How adorable you are!
Also laughing at the "Please save" message above the boy on the end. It's almost as if he started to scrawl out a plea for help just before the shot was taken and had to stop abruptly to smile for the picture.
My first grade teacher was mostly fine. Nothing especially memorable, except...we sat in rows. and the first person in the row was supposed to get up and pass back worksheets to the rest of her row. The girl who sat in the front of my row was a beautiful little child named Becca. One day, Becca decided she did not feel like doing that, so she passed the papers over her to head to the girl in the second seat, an awkward, buck-toothed, shy girl named Sarah. Sarah repeated the action. Sarah got yelled at instead of Becca.
Every time I remember that moment, I get Janis Ian in my head, because even at six years old, I remember thinking, that is some BULLSHIT, right there, she totally yelled at Sarah because Becca's so cute.
The photo of you laughing melts my heart - too cute for words!
Hey Alice, Sorry to call you out on the Hillman Cohen Vision but that was an actual business. There were Hillman-Cohen Vision Centers throughout the Northeast in the 1970's. It was acquired in the early eighties and the retail outlets were changed from Hillman-Cohen Vision Centers to Pearle Vision Centers. I still have the old HC eyeglass case to prove it.
Cheers
Alice, I think my mother, Mrs. Johnson, was Mr. Enea's 1st grade helper at the time of the glasses incident.... I remember, I think, that during the parent/teacher conference, it was mentioned that you had trouble seeing the board or doing your work without your glasses and Mr. Enea and my mom were concerned.... and then your confused mom said, "But Alice doesn't wear glasses....." My mom thought it was so funny... What a great idea to get out of school work! I couldn't help but think why I didn't think of it first!! My memory may be a little off but its still a great and creative idea for a 1st grader to come up with! I enjoy reading your blog. Take care