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Let's Panic: The Book!

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How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant
who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain,
and Finally Turn You
into a Worthwhile
Human Being.

Written by Alice Bradley and Eden Kennedy

Some Books
I'm In...

Sleep Is
For The Weak

Chicago Review Press

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Let's Panic

The site that inspired the book!

At LET'S PANIC ABOUT BABIES, Eden Kennedy and I share our hard-won wisdom and tell you exactly what to think and feel and do, whether you're about to have a baby or already did and don't know what to do with it. → 

« I'm back! But now I'm leaving. | Main | Don’t read this. »

I know it’s a day early…

But dear Internet: I made you this valentine. It’s a red heart, see? I cut it out myself! With some bits of a paper doily all around the edges! It’s a little sticky from all the glue and sparkles. I pasted on some googly eyes, but they fell off. Oh, wait, here they are, on my shoe.

Why did I bother making this when you’re just going to throw it out? Because I love you. I love you, Internet. I want to date you. I want to invite you over, and bake you a casserole. I will gaze at you in misty-eyed adoration, and warble love songs at you as you eat. Sweet Jesus, you'll think, does she have to look at me like that? What am I eating? And why is she singing Anne Murray songs, of all things? and then you’ll make up an excuse about having to leave early. I’ll call you as soon as you run out the door and I’ll make kissy noises into your voice mail.

And then I’ll FedEx you the rest of the casserole.

You will be scared.

But it will all be out of love, Internet. You are my one and only. Don’t ever forget that. And never leave me. Ever.

Okay, okay. Seriously, now. Wow. I don’t even know what to say about the response I received to my last post. I am overwhelmed. Thank you.

The amazing Leah interviewed me, and you can read it here. Go see! Embarrassing secrets--revealed! And there’s a picture of me trying to look pretentious, and succeeding.

Did I say thank you? Thank you. It doesn't seem like enough, but it's what I've got.

Reader Comments (90)

I may not speak for everyone, but I bet I speak for a good number when I say that the "thanks" are on our side of the monitor, baby. Happy Valentine's Day to you.
February 13, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterBelinda
No. Thank you.

And, wait! you used GOOGLY EYES? That's true love. I could never leave someone who used googly eyes. NEVER.
February 13, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterY
Alice--listen. Don't worry about moving to the suburbs. I, who have lived in ILLINOIS (Yes! The midwest! Which is even funnier than New Jersey!) for 17 years, and in a suburb in Illinois for 8 years, tell you this: you can be alienated anywhere.

Plus? You get all this great material to blog about--the whole "SUV-driving highlighted blondes with Martha Stewart haircuts yadda yadda yadda" thing. You can eviscerate them on your blog, and if that isn't enough, you can mow into them in your SUV. It's AWESOME.

And now you feel better, yes?
February 13, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterPoppy
Miss Alice! I have not commented to you in so long! I just wanted to say what a fabulous interview you did, and your cool points (already astronomically high in my book) increased by an exponent of 10,000 when you mentioned spicy tuna rolls. My favorite sushi bar in San Fran makes a spicy tuna handroll...I shall dedicate my next one to you!

Though I have no practical advice on moving, school districts, finances or really anything in adult world (I'm 21), I certainly wish you all the best in your current situation. I'm sure it seems overwhelming now, but everything will work out for the best.

Happy Valentine's Day, Miss Alice! *hands you a tasty box of conversation hearts*
February 13, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterKaguya Hime
great interview. i love cupcakes too. mini cakes. just holding one makes you feel high and mighty.
February 13, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterKristin
You may not have much money, but you've certainly got love in your life.... you know what makes you richer.

As always, an avid reader
February 13, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterlammarama
Hey! We love you back :-)
February 13, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterKeya
I LURVE the valentine! Thank you!
February 14, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterTasty
You don't look pretentious! You're beautiful.

Happy Valentines Day, Alice, and Internet.
February 14, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterLana
Oh, Alice. You are so super cool. You are so cool that I even have you linked on my 2 boring blog sites. After people get bored reading my hohums, at least they have the option of clicking on yours for a guaranteed laugh!

Um, those are and if you are ever 'bored' and want to lurk around. ;-)
February 14, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterKerri
eeeeeeeee! My first valentine of the day!I love sparkles and casserole! How did you know?

And thanks for that last post. When I was at my computer trying to control my life induced panic attack, your post made me feel not so lonely.
February 14, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterGuido
That's fabulous. Thanks for the card. Um.. I got you one... but I um.. forgot it. Sorry. I'll save you some candy though.

I loved the interview. I can't ride a bike either and my youngest progeny is at least as picky as Henry if not more so. I'm neurotic also. Are we twins?

Happy V-Day.
February 14, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterJudy
Mmmm, cupcakes!

And Finslippy. Two favorite things. Cupcakes adn Finslippy.

Alice, Happy Valentine's Day.

YOU make a huge difference.
February 14, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterkelly
Thanks for all of the wonderful, witty sharing that you do. Just for being my fellow non-bike-rider, I glued some macaroni on your valentine.
February 14, 2006 | Unregistered Commentersuperfantastic
You can ride on the back of my bike, anytime. Just wear a helmet.
February 14, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterMandy
Hi Alice,

You look beautiful in the photo that accompanies the interview.

Thank you for what you said about no one's blog or thoughts being insignificant. It bolstered me, and I imagine a great many of us, to keep on writing.

Thank you for writing. Happy Valentine's Day!
February 14, 2006 | Unregistered Commenteramieable
i lurve you right back. and i grew up listening to anne murray because my mom loves that canadian songstress, so i even get that. can i be your best friend now?
February 14, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterkristin
Happy Sappy Day to you and yours!
February 14, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterAnnejelynn
Awwwwwww!! See, this is all It's a Wonderful Life now!! :-D

I want to watch it on our date night. After we exchange the glue-stick-sticky constuction paper hearts. With glitter.

February 14, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterNeb
Alice! I want to know the song! Please tell us? Won't you? My life will feel that much more complete. As long as it's not by Anne Murray.
February 14, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterlis
LOVE the longer hair (haven't seen your hair since BlogHer).

I have to say that I really appreciated your comments regarding depression and the experience of it actually getting better during your pregnancy. I have had the same experience and of course, wondered if THAT made me crazy since for most people pregnancy makes them UNhappy. When I was 8+ months pregnant, I commented to a friend how AMAZING it was to feel happy and normal - like what other people must feel. I am still afraid of post-partum depression lurking in the corners, but so far, I am golden. Anyway, thanks for being "naked" and putting yourself out there. Very inspiring stuff.
February 14, 2006 | Unregistered Commentercagey
I would always smile back. If I knew you pretty well I'd loan you my carmex when needed (I have lip balm in about every pocket/bag I own), and if we were good buddies you could be sitting at my kitchen table right now having a brownie with valentine m&ms on it.

Glad you're feeling better. We heart you back!
February 14, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterH
I will never leave you. I promise.

Yer fan,GraceD
February 14, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterGraceD
Sweet Woman:

You wrote from your heart. And we ALL CAN RELATE.

So thanks to you as well.

p.s. One of my students wrote me a valentine poem:Roses are redCucumbers are greenViolets are blueI think you're keen.

Hysterical, no?
February 15, 2006 | Unregistered Commenters
I really enjoyed reading the interview. I love your writing and it's interesting to find out more about you and your blog. I'm also very jealous that you haven't thrown up since '78. And you never know, that extra vertabrae could come in handy some day. The only extra body part I have is extra wisdom teeth.

Hope you had a great Valentine's Day and hope you have some new jeans (they are essential to mental health).
February 15, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterCherie

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