Alice Bradley - Blog - I feel so violated.

Sunday

Nov252007

I feel so violated.

November 25, 2007

Dear cat:

I'm sorry we forgot to get you spayed. The good news is it's happening tomorrow. Meanwhile, don't look at me like that. I like you, but not in that way.

Fondly,

Your owner (but not lover)

Dear sexy, sexy human:

You are one hot number, did you know that? You don't have sleek fur covering your weird body, and you can't even cleanse your hindquarters with your probably un-barbed tongue, but… I don't know. There's something about you. I never noticed before today. But now I have these feelings, and I can't ignore them.

I will waggle my hindquarters in the air, and let nature take its course.

Patiently, your cat,

Izzy

Dear Izzy,

Shall I lock you in the basement overnight?

Love,

Alice

Dear Charlie,

Aw, yeah. I don't care how much of a non-cat you are, you are working this dog thing, and me likes. Do you know what you're doing to me, with that tail, and those eyes, and the way you stand there, paralyzed in terror, whenever I come around? Don't be afraid, baby. I got needs, and you're the closest thing to perfect within these four walls. You know where to find me.

Rowr,

Izzy

Cat-Thing--

Hey! What! I don't undersand when you talk about this and with the cat-butt in the air and what! It, you know, it's scary enough when you swat and hiss and poke and hiss and swat! Hey! But now I have to say I can't really handle this! Wow! I sure am very very very nervous! Where are my beloveds! My giant pink beloveds! Save me from cat-beast! SAVE!

Running,

Charlie

Hey baby,

You're the only one left, and time is running out. Tomorrow they take out my feelings, my hot cat needs, but tonight, tonight is for you and me. The dog, that coward, is hiding with the other non-cats, and I can't get at him. But you, you don't run away. You stand tall and strong, and I like that. Now MOUNT ME.

Thank you,

Your kitty cat.

ANIMAL:

No understand, me. Is confuse! Why you writhe and shimmy against I? What have you reason for chirruping? Cannot act. Cannot help! Want to, would like, but no working I is parts for moving. Am non-moving, but not non-feeling. So sorry.

Love,

COFFEE TABLE

Dear Alice,

Where are you going with this? Yes, we get it, the cat's in heat, you're getting her spayed. Better late then never, although some of us think spaying is evil and your cat should mate with wolves or whatever. We can't help it, some of us are kooks. Do you have any plans to wrap this up?

Love,

The Internet

Dear Internet,

No, I don't have any ideas, I'm sorry. I didn't think this through.

Yours,

Alice

Hey, Internet,

As long as you're here, HELP A CAT OUT GODDAMMIT.

Hugs 'n' stuff,

Izzy.

Reader Comments (57)

we provide you the best and most fashionable products. All the products are 100% high quality, competitive price, free shipping with best and timely service, 100% satisfaction. Big discount for big order. Welcome to make your choose.Enjoy your shopping!

cheap uggs boots
cheap ugg
ugg outlet
uggs outlet
cheap ugg boots
discount uggs
uggs on sale

December 13, 2010 |

UGG Adirondack Boots ii

If you want to get hard erections and boost sex drive naturally, you can do so by taking the best sex pills. So when choosing a sex pills which herbs should it contain? Lets take a look.

sex drugs
sex pills wholesale
sex pills
sex pills for women
female sex pills
woman's sex drive pills
male sex pills
sex delay spray
sex toys
adult sex toys
best sex toys
condom
female condom
condom sex
best condoms
Pilatory
weight loss products
best weight loss products
sex drive pills
best sex pills
top weight loss products
male sex endurance pills
best male sex pills
herbal sex pill
herbal sex pill for men
herbal sex pills for women

Sex Blue Pill
Blue Pills
Sex Blue Pill uk
Blue Pills Supplier
Blue Pills Manufacturer
Blue Pills Wholesaler

January 3, 2011 |

Sex Blue Pill uk

[url=http://remroom.ru]отделка квартир под ключ[/url] Улучшение и отделка офисов, квартир или домов – это насущная на сегодня проблема многих людей, решившихся, наконец, отремонтировать свое жилище. Мало того, что ремонт – это процесс трудоемкий и напряженный, еще и найти достойную организацию, занимающуюся улучшением квартир или домов сейчас практически нельзя. Дело в том, что все меньше и меньше в России остается организаций, делающих свою работу хорошо, эффективно и недорого. [url=http://remroom.ru]ищу ремонт квартир[/url]
Однако наша организация является приятным исключением из этого неприятного правила. Мы вот уже много лет занимается ремонтом помещений, квартир, загородных домов и еще ни разу нам не поступало от наших клиентов ни неприятных отзывов, ни каких-либо жалоб. [url=http://remroom.ru]ремонт квартир и офисов[/url] Большой опыт наших специалистов, а также высокий профессионализм всех без исключения наших сотрудников, поможет сделать хорошо, качественно и – главное - доступно как косметический, так и капитальный ремонт. [url=http://remroom.ru]делаем ремонт квартир под ключ[/url] Современное оборудование, новые технологии планировки и дизайна, а также индивидуальный подход к каждому клиенту и гибкая система скидок сделали нашу фирму самой успешной на сегодня фирмой, оказывающей услуги улучшению и отделке помещений, квартир или загородных домов. [url=http://remroom.ru]отделка квартиры ключ[/url]
[url=http://remroom.ru]ремонт квартир[/url] [url=http://remroom.ru]ремонт квартиры[/url]

April 10, 2011 |

balkonreont

About clamid

May 21, 2011 |

clambamza

Она была поглощена мыслями о своей влюбленности. Это было вроде невроза страха. Страха потерять его; страха не соответствовать его ожиданиям; страха потерять с ним время; страха посвятить ему слишком много времени; страха, что она делает для него слишком много; страха, что она делает для него слишком мало; страха, что она такая толстая; страха, что она уже не девственница; страха, что слишком рано разрешит ему раздеть себя, или еще худшего страха, что ему вообще не захочется раздевать ее.

June 13, 2011 |

Proofohyday

Это был просто добродушный, скучный, честный, заурядный малый. Некоторые его качества, может быть, и заслуживали похвалы, но стремиться к общению с ним было невозможно. Он был равен нулю.

June 17, 2011 |

Haineecelaw

Everyone involved advertising online knows that link-building is an essential component of success. There are lots of link building instruments available on the market, plus the list continues to grow providing incoming hyperlinks are so essential to the life bloodstream of an on the net presence. You may build backlinks to your website your self, use building links software or even outsource the whole job.

xrumer
http://xrumerblasts.in/

June 22, 2011 |

bedfreezxc

Post a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.

My response is on my own website »

Author:

Author Email (optional):

Author URL (optional):

Post:

↓ | ↑

Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>

Let's Panic: The Book!

Order your copy today!

Some Books
I'm In...

Sleep Is
For The Weak

The Best Creative
Non-Fiction, Vol. 2

Kirtsy Takes A Bow:
A Celebration...

Things I Learned
About My Dad

Cringe: Teenage Diaries, Notes...

Let's Panic

I feel so violated.

Reader Comments (57)

Post a New Comment

Link an External Response

Let's Panic: The Book!

Order your copy today!

Some Books I'm In...

Sleep IsFor The Weak

The Best CreativeNon-Fiction, Vol. 2

Kirtsy Takes A Bow:A Celebration...

Things I LearnedAbout My Dad

Cringe: Teenage Diaries, Notes...

Let's Panic

I feel so violated.

Reader Comments (57)

Post a New Comment

Link an External Response

Some Books
I'm In...

Sleep Is
For The Weak

The Best Creative
Non-Fiction, Vol. 2

Kirtsy Takes A Bow:
A Celebration...

Things I Learned
About My Dad