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Let's Panic: The Book!

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How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant
who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain,
and Finally Turn You
into a Worthwhile
Human Being.

Written by Alice Bradley and Eden Kennedy

Some Books
I'm In...

Sleep Is
For The Weak

Chicago Review Press

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Let's Panic

The site that inspired the book!

At LET'S PANIC ABOUT BABIES, Eden Kennedy and I share our hard-won wisdom and tell you exactly what to think and feel and do, whether you're about to have a baby or already did and don't know what to do with it. → 

« Au revoir à jamais | Main | Another blog you should read: The Diamond in the Window »

I do what I'm told.

The other day Henry approached me and said, "Put this on your website." He then recited the following:

I am a Cosimi Kawayi. I am a curious sort of beast but smart. I live in the underground arc-Dakota. The Underdorkdakota. We eat fox and bugs and spider webs. Which taste like a sticky broth. We can't stand up but we're good gallopers. My fur is very pointy so the fleas bounce off. There is no space between the hairs. We can step far. We are very good swimmers. We live for six hundred a million and five years old. Seventy two hundred years ago we were half extinct but still in the ends of the dinosaur ages. We were once a simple breed much like humans but related to frogs. Not as clumsy as frogs, able to walk and breathe over water. After the dinosaur period we lived back and studied our old life by doing what happened in our future. So long and farewell.

I am not any less puzzled than you are. And I made the kid.

Reader Comments (73)

I truly wish I have a son like Henry one day.
May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSwedish Pankakes
Sla-k'orsk, Henry!
May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKate
Henry's turn of phrase is fantastic.
May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSarah
He's a genius. I used to tell my parents about my past lives. I was two! "What do you mean 'before here'?"
May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSarah
"We can't stand up but we're good gallopers. My fur is very pointy so the fleas bounce off. There is no space between the hairs."

That sounds just like a string of dialogue from a dream sequence in a David Lynch film, where you know if you could just grasp that part, you would understand the whole story. But you've watched it six times, and you still don't get it, even though all of your intellectual friends do. So, you just start saying that the arc-Dakota series is your favorite because doing so might mean that the guy with Buddy Holly glasses, who chain smokes while waiting for the bus, just might talk to you some day.
May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterYolanda
I seriously want to read this book. Get him to tell you more. And the whole part about the observing their future? Brilliant.
May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDM
He's going to be a fabulous writer, just like you!
May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDory
henry owns. seconding that he needs to draw pictures next time
May 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterrenee
WOW! How old his he! Gosh, what awesome vocabulary and an imagination fit for a sci fi author.
May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNicole
Henry makes me believe in reincarnation!
May 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjen
I wish we lived closer than on opposite coasts, because if we did, your Henry and my Liam would absolutely be best friends.
May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKath
You did ok, but he clearly needs a Dictaphone.
May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMarinka
Or "glossolalia".
May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLPC
Is he copywriting any of this? 'Cause if he's not, I'm totally stealing that novel. That was freaking awesome!

Well done, Henry!
May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShnerfle
What a creative mind! I'm so impressed that you wrote it all down. And jealous.
May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMotherProof
I really think our children are related. Are you sure I never slept with you? Hmm.
May 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjaelithe
I love the things kids say. I especially like that he accosted you and told you to put it on your website.
May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie
this is so sweet and awesome.thank you for sharing! (though it looks like you didn't have a choice!)
May 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdesiree fawn
He is too funny - we definitely need more videos of him dancing - 'round these parts, we all loved the previous one of him doing the "crazy oz-oz dance"...OMG - he is a piece of work - in a very good way...what a character!!
May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLauri
I am not puzzled by the boy, for I have a similar sort of boy in my house.
May 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDaniel
Excellent how he takes care of possible flea issues!
I loved that!! That shows an originality and a creativity not many his age have. He's the best!
May 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMary @ Holy Mackerel
And a final thought. I'm sure it's genetic. In my family the men are oddly verbally gifted. A long time ago one of them drafted the Constitution. Recently one of them was an English professor. And next year one that I gave birth to, who showed similar signs as your son early on, will take a creative writing class from Joyce Carol Oates. On the other hand, all he had to do for that privilege was wake up really early. And having him learn how to wake up really early seemed even more shocking and possibly more useful than his early words. Ha. Who am I kidding? I was as chuffed by my son's skills as you should be. Enjoy.
May 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLPC
Thank you for directing me to A Diamond in the Window. I love it! Maybe she will be writing about Henry's book someday!
May 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMegsie
Either he's a total genius, or the kid destined never to succeed at traditional forms of education. You may need to look into getting a tutor, or a straightjacket.
May 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterScott

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