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Let's Panic: The Book!

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How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant
who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain,
and Finally Turn You
into a Worthwhile
Human Being.

Written by Alice Bradley and Eden Kennedy

Some Books
I'm In...

Sleep Is
For The Weak

Chicago Review Press

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Let's Panic

The site that inspired the book!

At LET'S PANIC ABOUT BABIES, Eden Kennedy and I share our hard-won wisdom and tell you exactly what to think and feel and do, whether you're about to have a baby or already did and don't know what to do with it. → 

« We're back! | Main | Hello, we must be going. »

Ho paura del ragno.

This is the one sentence I remember from the two years of Italian I took in college. And I probably got it wrong.

Yes! So! I am here! This computer at this Internet place, it does not function as I am liked it to! I am having the unhappy!

When I go to other countries I can't do their language, so I just speak the broken Englishes. They love it. No, really.

I must make this short, as the proprietor here, she is liking the incense, and my husband, he is having of the sickness regarding this. So! Our trip so far: pretty! We are surrounded by, um, what do you call it--nature. There are lizards in our beds. And snails in our shoes. There are many pretty sights. The pasta! What can I say! Hospitaliano! On the minus side, there has been some vomiting, and some not pooping, and some fever, and some refusing to eat a single foodstuff except for gelato. Guess who I'm referring to! C'mon!

Okay, Scott is reenacting Henry's regurgitation in the car on the way to San Gimignano, so I must leave you. More there will be at a later times! Me are hoping they will have the happy, the times in the next days! 

Reader Comments (44)

Aw, San Gimignano! (sp?) They have a torture museum there. Er, and lovely pottery.
August 31, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterHer Ladyship
Va bene! Hoping for molto poopo por la famigila. Hechemos de menos, muchissimo.

That's Italo-Kid-Spanglish for:

Have a great time! Many regular days for your family. We miss you VERY much.
August 31, 2005 | Unregistered Commentermadge
Bene, Bene, Molto Bene!
August 31, 2005 | Unregistered Commenterroo
Silly girl.

How's your hair?
August 31, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterSusan
And just when you get his 'belly' and 'psyche' sorted out, you'll be homeward bound...

We're headed Tuscany direction in a couple of weeks. Any advice? No kids invited.
August 31, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterLin
it's like i'm right there with you. your foreigness way of communicating was that good. and why can't i ever go to italy, by the way. i woild like italy. sheesh.
September 1, 2005 | Unregistered Commenterhonestyrain
I had an Italian co-worker, and whenever she was angry she would mumble something resembling katzo under her breath. You can try and use that if anyone pisses you off :-).
September 1, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterMs. Mama
Ahh yes, Ms. Mama. "Testa di cazzo" (, male-genitalia head) is one of the first and most valuable phrases the girls on my study abroad trip last summer learned.

Hope you're having fun, Finslippy!
September 1, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterJenn
Get a scooter and ride around on it saying "ciaaaooooo" to everybody. Also, make sure you wear sunglasses at all times. And Henry should, too. Then you don't need to know italian. You'll look cool enough that people will just give you things. Although, they might be less inclined to, if they know about the pooping. So don't tell them.

Keep having fun! Ask pasta makers about the shapes and their various functions. I mean the shapes of the pasta, not the people. It's kind of interesting, actually.
September 1, 2005 | Unregistered Commenterlis
Hey, understanding Italian is easy. With my three years of Latin, nine years of english, three years of french and 8 weeks Italien-crash-course, I was able to understand at least 50% of what they were yelling to me.

So, all you have to do is study an extinct language, speak three related languages more or less fluent (did I mention that German helps?), learn the very basics (Like, "Hello. Food is good.") and basta!, you'll understand enough Italian to realize how often those Italians are rude and impolite.Well, I guess one could just learn Italian but... na.

Oh, and they actually teach German in american Highschools? Funny.
September 2, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterHerrMetik
If ever I travel abroad I'll remember the broken Englishes. Because the entry of the blog? I am liking muchly.
September 2, 2005 | Unregistered Commenterwarcrygirl
Viva Italy!
September 2, 2005 | Unregistered Commenterschmutzie
When we were in a NATO squadron, we had an Italian Commander. His wife spoke almost exactly like that. When it was time to hit the road, she told us we needed to "strike the pavement."
September 3, 2005 | Unregistered Commenterbuffi
LOVING the new, Grammatically Incorrect Finslippy.
September 5, 2005 | Unregistered Commentercagey
Are thems the thoughts of cows?
September 5, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterNikol
Wah! We miss you! Here are some hopes that the Englishes are providing you with less snails in shoes and more yummy pasta and wine. And poopage! We needs some poopage!
September 6, 2005 | Unregistered Commentermissbanshee
Italy!! So cool.

And the one word I know for sure in Italian is pazzo. Which means crazy.

Well, that's not entirely true. I know the names of various shapes of pasta, but that probably won't be very helpful while driving down the road.
September 10, 2005 | Unregistered Commentercelia blue
I can relate to the language issues- I live in Tokyo and the other day I told my Japanese babysitter not to eat the baby instead of not to feed the baby!
September 11, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterAnna Dilemna
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