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Let's Panic: The Book!

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How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant
who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain,
and Finally Turn You
into a Worthwhile
Human Being.

Written by Alice Bradley and Eden Kennedy

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Sleep Is
For The Weak

Chicago Review Press

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Let's Panic

The site that inspired the book!

At LET'S PANIC ABOUT BABIES, Eden Kennedy and I share our hard-won wisdom and tell you exactly what to think and feel and do, whether you're about to have a baby or already did and don't know what to do with it.

Lets-Panic.com → 

« I leave for one week, and my son turns into a twelve-year-old. | Main | Here is a story for you. »
Friday
Jul112008

Here is where I am living now. Forward my mail, please.

Utah is innard-dessicatingly dry, and Scott could never find work here, and my family would weep forever if we were to move here, and also all our stuff is in New Jersey. Nonetheless, I cannot leave Utah, ever. Because Utah has this.

Baby girl

This is my two-year-old niece, whom I want to eat whole. Perhaps on a baguette, with some horseradish sauce to offset the sweetness. I haven't seen her in a year. Now she's talking and toddling and asking me how I'm doing and whether I like apple juice and I AM NEVER LEAVING.

Scott and Henry are not yet aware of my plans for us to remain here forever, but I suspect they won't put up too much of a fight.

Naptime

I mean, come ON. Tell me you could walk away from THAT.

Reader Comments (54)

I wouldn't be able to walk away from that carpet...before taking a nap on it.
That age is completely irresistible and she is delish. Maybe you could just stay until she hits her tweens... ;)
July 13, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteramy
I have two nieces and a nephew in Utah. I wish my daughter was growing up around them. It's the hardest part about leaving each time we visit. But life must go on in Jersey...
July 13, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteramy
Nope, sorry, can't. Can't tell you that. Can't lie.
July 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTherese
awww i love her little pigtails!
July 13, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersara
I have the solution - take her with you when you go. Maybe they'll (her parents) will never notice. It could work! With enough subterfuge and drugs, I bet you could sneak her home in your suitcase.
July 14, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Cheap Chick
I tried to think of a way to convince you to leave her behind, but looking at the picture? You're screwed.(You can always forward your animals with the mail, right?)
July 14, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJen
Oh Dear! Not ANOTHER Blog I am going to become addicted to. When will I ever leave the house? I do have friends here, where I live, and someone asked me... how do you keep up with all of your friends and all of your favorite blogs? I don't know, but Heather Armstrong's blog sent me here because Leta fell in love with Henry: (http://dooce.com/daily-photo/2008/07/14/heart-breaking-violently.) I would too! Little niece is precious and I agree... she looks like Leta's sister.

Living in the west isn't all bad... One can't blow one's nose, one's skin is full of wrinkles and feels like sandpaper, but OH... the lovely people! I encourage you to move out here where the people are luscious and juicy, even if the air isn't! Henry needs to grow up along side this precious little girl. Cousins are the best!!!
July 14, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJan
She is a cutie pie. It'[s obvious from the photos. There are adorable little girls about her age available for adoption in Russia and Kazakhstan, where my kids are from. I can give you more information if you'd like...
July 14, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDee
What adorable photos!
July 14, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKelsey
Gawd, Henry's gorgeouser than ever! He looks so much like you Alice. Your niece is a peach too. You should try her with a soy sauce marinade.
July 14, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterdana
Oh I don't know..Henry is pretty cute himself. I do think she would make a lovely carry-on though...Who needs matched LV luggage when you can have her? :)
July 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJaime
Is it any wonder third children are spoiled rotten? I have two big ones, 14 and 12, and my 9-year old is still delectable... and I can't help but cling to her innocence and beauty.

Isn't it great how at the end of a long exhausting day you can get such pure joy from just looking at a precious little person. It's almost enough to make me want more.

Almost.

Katrinco-author Mothers Need Time Outs, Toowww.momstimeouts.com
July 15, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterkatrin
Oh man, those eyes, those braided pigtails, that saucy mouth. She's a doll! Looks like a perfect combo of sweet and sassy! Could you please carbon copy her and send me one?
July 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKia
AwWWW!They look like brother and sister:-)Cute overload.
July 15, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersunny
Ohhhhhh she is adorable. They both are. And if you stay, then can grow up together and you can see her cuteness all the time. :)

Have a great trip!
July 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKimmers
We see our niece and nephew twice a year and it hurts my heart because we love them so.
July 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAlly
I object.

































July 16, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterliz
No, no. I could not.
July 16, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterthe new girl
cousins are the greatest. Pigtails are the greatest. Tiny toddling NASA engineers are the greatest.

And that carpet? Looks like the greatest. Although if it were in my house, it would smell like stinky dog.
July 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAli B.
That is painfully cute. I wouldn't want to leave either.
July 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCara
Outrageously adorable. More importantly, What is your opinion on Apple Juice? Personally, I'm all for it most days, but other days, I could take it or leave it. Other days still, I could drink it nearly boiling with some cinnamon, and still yet on other days, I could only have it ice cold.
July 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLauren
She is definitely a beauty!
July 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChristian Bruce
I just got that you said "innard-desiccatingly dry" - what a line! Fantastic!
July 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterShannon
That is just the cutest pic and no I couldn't leave that either.
July 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMidwest Mommy

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