Here I am!
November 28, 2006Hey there! Hey, you! How was your Thanksgiving? Was it good? Mine was good, too!
We hosted Thanksgiving this year for our in-laws. So drunk were we on our relatively roomy new house and our ability to own more than four wine glasses, we actually believed we could put together a well-rounded Thanksgiving meal. Shockingly, we were right. By some miracle, I cooked a twenty-pound turkey that tasted like turkey, and not like tree bark. (In this I was aided by my brother-in-law, who stuck the thermometer into various parts of the turkey as I huddled in the corner, shrieking I JUST DON’T WANT TO POISON EVERYONE.) Many side dishes were also composed and enjoyed, all without incident. My baby niece was just as adorable as I remembered, and I managed to hold her without gnawing at her cheeks, which took considerable strength of will.
The only mishap occurred the day before, when I heated the oven to bake the pumpkin pie, having forgotten that the day before I had sprayed some oven cleaner in there. The kind of oven cleaner that says WHATEVER YOU DO, DON’T HEAT UP THE OVEN WITH THIS IN IT all over the canister. I would have paid attention to this, were I able to read. What I needed was a picture of a toy poodle on its back with x’s where its eyes should be and its little pink tongue hanging out, but the E-Z-Off people didn’t care about my needs. So I almost killed us all.
Fortunately I noticed the foamy quality of the oven’s insides mere moments after turning it on, so instead of dying I only had to wipe away some hot oven cleaner. This was the most exciting thing that happened all week. The End.
And now, friends, my mind is cast inexorably toward the last hurdle of 2006, that being The Christ Child’s Birthday, Wherein We All Flirt With Poverty To Praise Jesus. My son, who was so articulate regarding his birthday wishes, now will only tell me that he wants “cool stuff.” He seems to feel that Santa will know what this means, as Santa is all-knowing. Sadly, his mother doesn’t know a thing. And there’s a disconnect between what he claims to like and what he actually plays with for more than five minutes. If I give him a puzzle, he will shrug and ask for the next gift, but then play with that puzzle every day until I want to burn the puzzle. Whereas if I buy him a militia of Power Rangers, his head will explode with joy, and the next day the Power Rangers will be dumped in his Enormous Bin of Guys, to be next seen in the Spring of Aught Eight. Oh, what’s a mother to do?
Reader Comments (40)
Other fun items of the squishy-crap genre: Silly Putty (always a classic) Floam, Gak, and Slime (much less messy than you might think). Any kind of building toy...tinker toys, Connex, Lincoln Logs, Bristle Brix. They can be pretty much anything your kid can imagine.
There are some seriously hella cool art supplies out there. I'm always tempted to buy some for myself. Glow In The Dark crayons, glitter glue, scissors that cut wavy edges, scented markers, color-changing paints...all kinds of great stuff.
Toys you can do something with, like Legoes are the best, because you can have a car, a robot, a dollhouse, a space-ship control room, pretty much anything, after you sit down and build it for a little while.
I'm certain this means - "Get me X and Y or die" but he refuses to elaborate.
I found a suggestion on someone else's blog for what seemed like the perfect gift for my boy of roughly Henry's age: a kiddie digital camera. Problem is that all internet sellers of said Fisher-Price item are out of stock, except for those who are selling it for 200% of the list price. Luckily, his birthday is in mid-January, so I'm hoping that it will be available for a non-gougy price by then. Gosh, that was a lot of help for you, wasn't it?
How 'bout buying him his own keg tap? We discovered at a party that our boy LOVES to work kegs, which is a very useful party trick. And you'll save on deposits, too!
Would he be able to get through a trip to the toy store without getting much? It might be helpful to walk through the store with him and note the things he seems most interested in.
Good luck!
And the toy store idea? Hello? Sparkle Sunshine? Wake up and smell the coffee, BAD IDEA unless Henry wants to celebrate early. WHat kid do you know that can pick out his own gifts a month in advance and then wait pariently for them? Wait, yor name is Sparkle Sunshine, never mind.
And Country Mouse, having just lost 3 hours of my life that aren't coming back because I put together one of those lego star wars flying things this morning (and last night too) let me tell you something about the lego sets. They are for decortation purposes only, because when the thrilled youngster attampts to play with them they fall to pieces, and so does the youngster, and so will the parent the fifth time he/she has to reattach the wings and wonder why there are three extra pieces.
I say, get him everything for goodness sakes, it's Christmas, go into debt like every one else. Suffer afterwards.
I hate this time of year.
You probably already have these, but I was looking longingly at them while at Target yesterday, wishing either for my lost childhood to return or someone for whom to buy the games.
Sadly, neither option has materialized. Unless! Henry? Do you want Chutes and Ladders for Christmas? It's TOTALLY fun.
Oh, Christmas. First I have to buy birthday gifts for my two year old nephew who doesn't want anything, and my own son who will be eight and changes his mind every day. Then there's Christmas, and both my boys are like, whatever. You know those ten dollar toys in the blue boxes at Wal-Mart? Those are looking pretty good right now.
ALSO, three years ago my Dad had the kids go through the Mindware catalog and circle what interested them, and they are still playing with the big bucket of Gears.
Want Henry to knit you some underwear? Don't worry, mine will.
Sigh.
Drum kit.