Fretting is like aerobics for the mind.
May 19, 2005So my dad’s going in for surgery at 9:00 a.m. tomorrow.
This is insane, but I might as well tell you: this surgery seems impossible to me; I mull it over and read up on the gory details and every time I end up feeling altogether poorly about it. And here’s the crazy part: it’s because I can’t figure out how such a surgery is possible. Are you with me? If I can’t figure out how to do something, it stands to reason that no one can. I don’t know when I got so egomaniacal, but there it is. Operating on a heart! Who ever heard of such an insane act? You need the heart at all times; you don’t go fiddling with it. Much less opening it up and sticking pig parts in there.
If I were a surgeon, I’d be in the operating room saying things like, “Okay, let’s just, you know, start cutting this nice person open, and—hold up a minute here, I have to vomit for an hour or two. Okay. No, I’m good. No, wait, still sick. Wow. Didn’t think a person could vomit out through their eyes, did you? Well, we all learned something today. You know what? This whole surgery thing doesn’t seem right to me at all. Who’s for lunch?”
Obviously we’re all grateful that I didn’t pursue a medical degree.
In general I tend to be unable to relax when I’m not in control. You should see me in a plane. I’m the one in 34F, flying the plane with my mind. It’s not easy but someone has to do it, and what, I’m going to trust those drunks in the cockpit?
In conclusion, I am insane. Thank you. I have to go fret now.
Reader Comments (37)
I, too, have been blessed with the gift of flying airplanes with my mind. It's a big responsibility, yes, but as you point out, someone's got to do it.
You can't just stop a human heart, dammit!
Well, apparently, you can. He's doing just fine. Good luck to your dad tomorrow.
perhaps there is some 'flying the plane' aspect of this surgery that you can be in charge of ... for instance, since your dad will need to be asleep during the procedure, it might be a good idea for you to also be asleep. To, like, fortify his sleep telepathically. Or something. Just an idea.
Will be thinking of you and your family, sweetie. This time tomorrow the worst will be over.
Sometimes it feels like we can prevent something bad from happening by worrying hard enough about it. Like if you relax, who is maintaining the vigil of worry? How will he be ok if you don't fret about it? You know logically that that isn't true so sometimes you have to make a conscious decision NOT to worry. If you are religious, some people "give it to God", put it in his hands and trust that everything will be ok. If you aren't, even just deciding that you don't control the outcome, no matter how anxious you get and letting it go may get you through.
Me, I'd keep worrying, because I'm a control freak ;-) Trust me, though, they don't just let anyone operate on hearts. I hope your dad is up and around in no time!
I hope all goes well.
She's in China right now. One out of two ain't bad.
I will be keeping all of you in my thoughts and prayers tomorrow.
I do the same thing when I fly. More than anything I look around for defects and listen for odd noises. Best flight I ever had was when I sat next to a pilot and he told me what every sound was. I think of him when I see that episode of The Simpsons where Marge is afraid of flying and Homer is describing everything to her, including when they don't take off and instead kind of just roll right into a lake and he's like "That's a carp, swimming around your feet." Or something like that.
ha ha
HILARIOUS!
Again, best wishes to your Dad during and after surgery!
Last summer, after years of questionable symptoms and inconclusive testing, my mother went to the Mayo Clinic to get to the bottom of her chest pains. It turns out she has a huge blockage between her hearts chambers. Two of three specialists thought open heart surgery was in order, the surgeon said he wouldn't touch her, she was not healthy enough to survive the surgery. They shuffled her medications and sent her home to clean up her diet and lifestyle. She did, she eats better, does some water exercises, lost weight and seems so much better, except the blockage is still there. So we wait. Wait and see if it will hopefully resolve itself, wait and see if she has a heart attack, or wait and see if she will be healthy enough to survive the surgery that could extend her life. Waiting is so hard. It's the hardest part.
My hopes and prayers are with your dad and you.
Clickmom
Last summer, after years of questionable symptoms and inconclusive testing, my mother went to the Mayo Clinic to get to the bottom of her chest pains. It turns out she has a huge blockage between her hearts chambers. Two of three specialists thought open heart surgery was in order, the surgeon said he wouldn't touch her, she was not healthy enough to survive the surgery. They shuffled her medications and sent her home to clean up her diet and lifestyle. She did, she eats better, does some water exercises, lost weight and seems so much better, except the blockage is still there. So we wait. Wait and see if it will hopefully resolve itself, wait and see if she has a heart attack, or wait and see if she will be healthy enough to survive the surgery that could extend her life. Waiting is so hard. It's the hardest part.
My hopes and prayers are with your dad and you.
Clickmom