Elsewhere, there is laughter and tragedy, although not in that order.

"When I read about the physical and emotional toll parents with disabled children face, I want to delete this whole post, and write about something I’m actually qualified to address, like kitty cats."

Wonderland entry, above.

And now: Looky, Daddy! is a blog I have grown to love, and not just because its author guilted me into linking to him. How could you not love this?:

"Of all the questions we twin parents get, nothing drives me crazier than the "natural" question. The fact that people feel they can so casually inquire to a stranger's personal life and health issues just completely baffles me. Do these people go up to bald people and ask, "So, cancer?"

Here are a few of my favorite answers to "Are they natural?" Feel free to pick and choose, depending on the situation.

1. No, they're unnatural.

2. No, they're synthetic.

3. (In a low whisper:) Clones.

4. No, they're pretend.

5. No, they're made of cobbled together body parts I bought on eBay.

6. More than you.

7. No, sir! What you are looking at is the next level of human baby. I'm telling you, they are state of the art. Titanium skeleton. Pentium III processor. And the outside? 100% NuSkin. Grown in a lab in Weehawken, New Jersey. Looks real, doesn't it? Cost a pretty penny, I don't mind saying, but worth it. Sure, we could have gone with the vinyl skin, but I think those just look tacky, plus they heat up like the dickens in the summer. Do you want to feel it? No? Okay, but do this: Lean in close, you can hear them hum. It's low, but you can hear it. Go ahead. No? Alright. Well, next time, maybe. Anyway, if you want to know more, the manufacturer of these bad boys has a website. It's www.youarearudesonofabitch.com. Check it out when you get a chance."

See? You can't.

Comments

[Rae]

I love the post about Ashley, it was very sensitive and well-done. And as for twins, those are amazing comebacks. I need to come up with comebacks for my own set of questions, mostly regarding my mixed-race kids (I'm white, my husband is black). I get the "are they yours?" comment a lot, and once at the playground someone asked me how much I get paid to take care of *two*. It's getting old, need something snappy. :)

[gullebarn]

I have twin girls and they look completely different. One is blond the other brunette. One is a whole clothing size bigger than her petite sister. Yet people ask me all the time if they are identical. I'm like -- OK are you LOOKING at them?

When they were babies because of the size difference, I was asked several times if they were 6 months apart. Yeah, you bet.

[Beth]

What Kyran said.

I don't think people mean to be rude; I think their questions are asked honestly and sometimes as a means of bonding. I get asked *all the time* if I'm ever going to have any more kids, and I usually just give the honest answer: I'm single and forty and there's no partner on the horizon, and it just doesn't look like it's in the cards at this point. (If I give a humorous answer, I do it good-naturedly.) Is the question nosy? Maybe. But I choose to assume the person asking is genuinely curious, or just wants to make conversation. Either way, I don't think they deserve a nasty reply.

[maile]

that is hilarious! thanks for the link and new blog to add to the addiction.

[Shelley]

Great answers all around! On the "will you be having another," question, I sometimes answer, "Well, if the good Lord wills it," because I like to remind people that it's not really all about what we want, and also because we're lesbians and if they know that, this answer hurts their brain a little. More frequently, I say, "Well, to be honest we kind of like outnumbering him," which is true and doesn't require that I disclose our ages, financial circumstances, etc. etc.

[Angela]

As another mom of twins, I have heard this many times. Mine are both girls, but I have heard reports from other twin moms about people asking if their boy/girl twins are identical.

"Yessir. From the waist up."

[Cheryl]

Hi there. I;m just delurking. I've been reading (and enjoying!) your blog for over a year. Thanks for recommending yet another blog I can waste time on. :)

[Jen3@amazingtrips.blogspot.com]

As the mother of triplets, I can never step foot out of our house without being bombarded by questions. I have a t-shirt that says "Yes, They are Triplets. Yes, they are real." Because, yes, people will actually ask if our children are real.

A fellow triplet mother recently told me one of the best lines she'd ever heard was "Wow, look at that!! Those are twintuplets!!"

Brilliance. It's everywhere.

[Marcheline]

Disclaimer: This comment is from someone who has never had, nor ever will have, kids.

I read your blog because I enjoy your writing, and I'm a little confused by your posting another blog and using Finslippy to tell us about that one.

Your blog Finslippy is insanely popular, and I find myself wondering - isn't that enough?

I like Finslippy - I just want Finslippy. I don't want reading Finslippy to become advertisements for the OTHER BLOG... I don't care about the other blog.

I want Finslippy, the way it was before. Finslippy is cool because it's about your life - the kid stuff, the non-kid stuff... being a joyfully childless person, I really can't stomach the all-kids all-the-time type of blogs... I avoid them at all costs, pretty much. Discussions about torn vaginas and morning sickness don't do much for me.

But I love Finslippy. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. We all know about the other blog now.... those who want to read it know where to find it.

BRING BACK UNADULTERATED FINSLIPPY!

Cheers,M

[Looky, Daddy!]

Crap! There go my next two ideas for posts. Dammit! And my 'torn vaginas' one was going to be a laugh riot, I can tell you!

[alice]

Aw, Marcheline! I'm sorry you're not into the plugging of Wonderland. The advertising-for-Wonderland posts seemed to be all over the place this week because I was terribly late with the second-to-last one. Usually there will be a post on Friday stating that there's a new post over there, because that's my agreement with Alphamom. But you can ignore those posts, right? Or maybe I should make Wonderland just a mention in them and also post something original here. Hmmm.

And I'm glad you didn't read my torn-vagina post from way back. Whew!

[Stacie (The Twinkies)]

The new, sneaky, "did you use drugs" question I've been getting is: "How soon did you know it was twins?"

Why is this sneaky, you ask? Well, because if I answer you know I MUST have done something artificial, because no one gets ultrasounds as early as infertility patients.

[Marcheline]

Ha! You guys crack me up! Yeah, I can ignore the Wonderland plugs - I have so far, eh?

*wink*

- M