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Let's Panic: The Book!

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How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant
who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain,
and Finally Turn You
into a Worthwhile
Human Being.

Written by Alice Bradley and Eden Kennedy

Some Books
I'm In...

Sleep Is
For The Weak

Chicago Review Press

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Let's Panic

The site that inspired the book!

At LET'S PANIC ABOUT BABIES, Eden Kennedy and I share our hard-won wisdom and tell you exactly what to think and feel and do, whether you're about to have a baby or already did and don't know what to do with it. → 

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Today my boy, my Henry Jacob, turns eight. Eight! He ties his own shoes and solves complex math problems and can recite entire passages of "Diary of a Wimpy Kid." I...yeah. Words fail me.

But I can't sit around today singing "Sunrise, Sunset" and sniffling into Minty Bear (technically, Minty Bear II). I've got a cake to bake, an apartment to clean (my family's coming over, and you know my mom's going to notice the tumbleweed of cat hair floating across the kitchen) and, most importantly (for Henry) a staggeringly large Lego box to wrap. (This last part will probably take me an hour and cause me to somehow waste an entire roll of wrapping paper, because even though I'm technically an adult, I seem to be missing the adult life-skills I thought I'd have perfected by now, like "wrapping" and "folding laundry.")

(On the other hand, I finally figured out how to snap my fingers! Life list!)

Anyhoo, why don't you take a moment to read Henry's birth story? I mean, if not today, when? It has Dan Rather, and mooing. I couldn't have created a better story out of my imagination. Which is true of quite a lot of things in my life, not least of which is my son.

Happy birthday, Henry. I love you so much it's stupid.

Reader Comments (70)

Happy Birthday, Henry!
October 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEm
Happy birthday Henry! Enjoy the cake and Legos!
October 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMichele
We do too.
October 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJon
Wow....eight!It seems like you just posted his seventh....where does the time go??

Happy, Happy Birthday, Henry!!
October 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBeth G
Happy Birthday to Henry and congratulations to YOU for these last 8 years. I have an 8 year old too! Yesterday she instructed me on how to give her a "Warm Welcome."
October 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLivewithFlair
Happy birthday Henry!!I re-read the awesome birth story. I laughed, I cried, I totally snorted on the bus!Have a great day!
October 7, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersouphead
Happy Birthday Henry! We hope we get to see you again soon, so save your dollars. Love, Sarah & Nick
October 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSarah Brown
P.S. Nick says, "We're a little broke at the moment, could you draw us up some five hundred dollar bills?"
October 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSarah Brown
Cake and Lego? Man, I wish I were eight.

Happy Birthday, young man!
October 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKeith
Happy birthday, Henry! Also, how did you learn to snap your fingers? Because that's on my life list, too, and I have no idea where to begin with that one. I was afraid it was a genetic thing like rolling your tongue or good hair.
October 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCatherine
Happy Birthday Henry!!

I didn't realize Henry and my oldest share a birthday (my guy is 4 today). I has the sadz a little bit, but I love the kid he is and can't wait to see how he turns out.
October 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda
Goodness, you don't look old enough to have an eight year old!

Happy birthday to all of you!
October 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarinka
I can wrap but it's not always pretty. For laundry folding, though? I'm your gal!

Happy Birthday Henry, I think you're going to like what's under all that wrapping.
October 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKizz
Don't you know? For the big presents, you don't wrap them, you HIDE them! Then you send them on a scavenger hunt to find them!
October 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSarah
Hard to imagine I've been reading your blog for as long as I have... I remember Henry's 5th birthday!! Happy birthday, Henry, and quit growing up so fast!
October 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKaty
Happy birthday Henry! Your birth story is hands down my FAVORITE EVER. I have forced many a person to read it.
October 7, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterbeck
And he's handsome and a genius. Happy birthday, Henry!
October 7, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercjm
Happy Birthday Henry!!
October 7, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterliz
Happy Birthday Henry!

And thanks for the birth story - I needed a good laugh today...

The best part of my daughter's birth story came about 3 years after the fact, when my husband said that he had the worse end of the deal because he had to try to sleep in the awful reclining chair. I, at least, had a bed. He wasn't even kidding.
October 7, 2010 | Unregistered Commentera
Happy birthday, Henry! EIGHT! Gracious.

Your birth story is fantastic. I wish I could have made sounds as ladylike and refined as mooing during my daughter's birth.
October 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLawyerish
Happy birtday to Henry! What a fantastic boy. That's also the best birth story I've ever read... funny and true.
October 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMImi O
I too have an 8 year old who loves math but is not quite yes as erudite as Henry is. I love your Henry stories, have been following you for a while.


October 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnna
Happy, happy birthday to Henry!
October 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAngella
Happy birthday, Henry!
October 7, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterhi kooky
I'd read it before but MY GOD, woman, that birth story is a timeless classic...and all the more terrifying now that I'm pregnant and mooing is imminent. Happy birthday to Henry. May he deem his cake worthy of consumption!
October 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

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