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Let's Panic: The Book!

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How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant
who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain,
and Finally Turn You
into a Worthwhile
Human Being.

Written by Alice Bradley and Eden Kennedy

Some Books
I'm In...

Sleep Is
For The Weak

Chicago Review Press

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Let's Panic

The site that inspired the book!

At LET'S PANIC ABOUT BABIES, Eden Kennedy and I share our hard-won wisdom and tell you exactly what to think and feel and do, whether you're about to have a baby or already did and don't know what to do with it. → 

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Coloring with Henry.

Scene: the kitchen. Henry and I are coloring in his and my new favorite book, Scribbles. I had a book like this when I was little, and I think it was called the Anti-Coloring Book, or the Counter-Culture Coloring Book, or the Hippie Love Down With the Man Groove-Tastic Coloring Experience. I loved it so. Anyway! Henry’s drawing on a page that depicts a zoo. You’re supposed to draw the zoo animals. Only Henry’s not drawing an animal because he plays by no one’s rules. No, he’s drawing a giant cockroach. He pronounces it “cock-a-roach,” because he’s the reincarnation of Jimmy Durante.

“The cockaroach is zapping all the people with his mystic light force,” he says, drawing purple lines emanating from the bug to each hapless zoo-goer. Continuing to draw, he says, “Sometimes instead of cockaroach, for short I say ‘roach.’”

“Sure,” I say. I’m busy coloring the security guard. He’s terribly jaundiced, poor thing.

“Sometimes instead of cockaroach I just say ‘cock,’” he adds.

“Oookay,” I say.

Then he tells me, “The giant cock is taking over the world.”

At that second Scott teleports himself from his office directly to our kitchen, shouts, “That’s my boy!” and then whoosh, back to his office.

Maybe whoosh isn’t the right word. Frrring! I think that’s more like it.

Reader Comments (47)

We have Scribbles! Love it. And Doodles. Love the design of those books as much as the idea behind them. And the anti-coloring book still exists:

January 30, 2007 | Unregistered Commenteriheartnewyork
I like this daily posting of amusing anecdotes. Pray continue.
January 30, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterHeath
I love that Henry. Oh how he makes me laugh.
January 30, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterSara
There are little tears because i'm at work and MUST BE QUIET! Good Lord, the mental pictures of the zoo full of cartoon giant roaches and cocks. Henry is so so great.
January 30, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterrascoagogo
That was just awesome.
January 30, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie
This story made my day. I can't stop laughing.
January 30, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterAnais
Daniel's comment about the ungame made me laugh so hard my head exploded.
January 30, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterAbigail
“The giant cock is taking over the world.”

I need to have that on a tee shirt. Briliant.
January 30, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterJudypooh
omg, daniel, we had the Ungame too. we always had to play it on FAMILY NIGHT. aaaaaaaagh.
January 30, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterislaygirl
And just think, if you hadn't started this blog three years and several days ago, you would have had no where to tell this hilarious story.

Just think.
January 30, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterLisa (the girls' moma)
Their language skills just rock my world every day.

Li-cious = deliciousHos-ti-pal = hospital

You get the picture :)

January 30, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMeredith

I just love that Henry.
January 30, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterEva
Taro Gomi? Didn't he write Everyone Poops? Got it for a high-school graduation present (yes, there's a story there...) One of my faves! I'll have to check this one out!
January 31, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterJim
I'm with judypooh-- there MUST be a t-shirt.On the back it could say, "until the giant vagina swallows it"
January 31, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterKate
Oh God, the Ungame! We too had Family Night, and we too had to play the Ungame forever and ever and ever, or until someone died. Worst game EVER.

January 31, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterQueenjulie
Until this very second I had forgot about the Anti Colouring book. I had thought it was one of those weird things that only I had because I also had a sort of Escher colouring book. My parents were hippies and I was the only kid I knew who had those books not to mention the only kid who did yoga, ate granola, licked cherry flavored rolling papers(i didn't know what they were other than they tasted pretty good) had giant bean bag chairs in the living room, didn't eat sugar, ate sprouts etc. So like a lot of thing from that time I thought it was something that I made up or was made up for me.

I'm glad to know that I'm not crazy, but also kind of sad that I didn't have colouring books made for me.

January 31, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterbrandy
LOL, Alice, love the Henry stories! He is so funny.

I would have benefited from one of those coloring books. When cleaning out our old house when my mother moved, I found some of my old coloring books that she'd kept. I was apparently not a child who was good at keeping inside the lines or coloring large areas neatly. Glad to know coloring book creators have recognized that not all kids have the same outlook on things.
January 31, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMauigirl52
OHMYGODThis is too funny, my favorite!

January 31, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterDeb
Oh, the son that my own partner wishes were his. If I share this, he might come and steal him in the night, seriously. I'll be discreet.
January 31, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMom101
I think congratulations are in order for keeping a straight face!

(Hey, now THAT could be an interesting greeting card. I know it's going back a few posts but still. Something like "Congratulations On Not Laughing At The Giant Cocks! We're All Proud Of You." And then there could be a place for someone to slip a check in or something.)
January 31, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterNothing But Bonfires
OMG...I am falling off the sofa laughing! Thank you, thank you!
February 4, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMisty
Ooooh, that is too funny!
February 16, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

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