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Let's Panic: The Book!

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How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant
who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain,
and Finally Turn You
into a Worthwhile
Human Being.

Written by Alice Bradley and Eden Kennedy

Some Books
I'm In...

Sleep Is
For The Weak

Chicago Review Press

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Let's Panic

The site that inspired the book!

At LET'S PANIC ABOUT BABIES, Eden Kennedy and I share our hard-won wisdom and tell you exactly what to think and feel and do, whether you're about to have a baby or already did and don't know what to do with it. → 

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Charlie and Me

I wrote an essay about our dog Charlie for a forthcoming anthology about dogs. I'm Not the Biggest Bitch in This Relationship!, edited by Wade Rouse, will be published in 2011, with a portion of the proceeds going to the Humane Society of the United States. All kinds of incredible writers are contributing, including Merrill Markoe, Rita Mae Brown, and Jen Lancaster. I'm honored to be included.

Charlie is one of my favorite topics to write about, as most of my friends have long grown tired of me jabbering about my dog's velvety ears and I have to get it out somehow. We adopted Charlie shortly after we got married, and when my mom saw us with him she rolled her eyes and said, "You two need to have a baby." The implication being that once we procreated, we'd calm down about the dog and stop, say, kissing him on the lips. Well, guess who was wrong about that? You were, Mom! YOU! So there! Now give your other grandson a kiss.

I needed a picture of me with Charlie for the book, so my pal Amber of The Amber Show graciously volunteered her photographic talents. The essay is about Charlie's insistence on sleeping in our bed, between me and Scott, under the covers. Amber took some boudoir pics. I wore my nightie!

IMG_0082 (orig)

You can't really tell that it's a nightie. But oh, it is. It's from Target. Mrowr.

Charlie hates getting his picture taken. I don't know who beat him with a camera, but someone clearly did, because the minute he sees one his ears go back and he tries to lick it. That's Charlie's tactic. If you upset him in any way, his defense is to wag his tail violently and lick you. He'll love you right into submission.

IMG_0116 (brighter, cropped)

This is him pleading with me to make the clickety-click sounds stop. Oh boy, do we need a headboard. Someday, my friends. Someday.

IMG_0032 (alice brighter)

Here I am, pointing. I'm saying, "That's a dog. That's Charlie!" I can identify my pets.

IMG_0157 (brighter)

I'm holding him down. The moment I loosened my grip he'd scurry to the next room. But oh, we got him back! Dogs are not bright.

IMG_0152 (orig)

I was trying to look vaguely unhappy with him being in the bed with me, and yet swayed by his canine charms. It was a complicated series of emotions. My face was breaking under the strain.

IMG_0019 (brighter)

I am absolutely covered in dog hair, here. The crazy heat wave we've endured has caused Charlie to shed like he's getting paid for it, plus he sheds when he's stressed out, so during this photo shoot, he unloaded approximately 30 pounds of dog hair on me. And Charlie only weighs 25 pounds, so this took some effort on his part. Fur was raining off of him, causing Amber to observe, "He's Pig-Penning!" Which I thought was adorable. And accurate.

IMG_0113 (brighter)

Charlie is now 13 years old. His face used to be mostly black with a white stripe running down the center, but as you can see, he's faded somewhat. His eyes are cloudy, but he can hear a slice of cheese hit the ground from across the apartment. He's still spry, and leaps and cavorts the moment we head outside.

IMG_0165 (brighter)

I'm sure, fellow dog-owners, that your dogs are fine, but Charlie is pretty much the greatest dog who ever lived.

Reader Comments (84)

And I'm sure he is the a tied position with my poochy-woochy, of course.I loved Charlie and Me and put Finslippy on my Favorites as a reward for any achievement I might have--or simply for when I need uplifting. Thanks, be reading you again soon!
August 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSylvan
PS Dear doting mama, veterinary care has come up with a solution to cloudy eyes: cataract surgery. It's the same kind of procedure that is done on human eyes, and almost as pricey. Just thought I'd pass on the info and send an ear rub to Charlie with good wishes from me and Sasha (my only child). Oh, and to you as well, of course--the good wishes.
August 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSylvan
Charlie is adorable. I have a cousin named Charlie who is an idiot, but from now on I will picture YOUR Charlie's sweet face instead, when I hear "Charlie." Thanks for reorienting my mind.
August 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDee Thompson
Your hair is so pretty! I have been wanting to go short but I'm sorta nervous. It looks so good on you! I hope you know how pretty you are!
August 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKristin
I like the first photo best.

(You were there, weren't you? In NYC this weekend? I didn't get a chance to meet you, but had hoped I could say hello and introduce myself... hope you had a good time!)
August 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJustLinda
You look super-sexy hot, and I say that in a very non-stalker way. Also, I love your bedding and want your sheets. Not those exact sheets, of course. Unless you are bored with them or something. Because if you sent them to me, I would be all, OMG I'M SLEEPING ON FINSLIPPY'S SHEETS, Y'ALL! to everybody I know, and they would think I'm even crazier than they do already. Also, I have no headboard. I like to pretend that I'm going to go to the Knock-off Wood blog and get inspired with magical powers and build one all by myself. It hasn't happened yet, but I keep hoping. Also, I barely slept last night and have had about 5 cups of coffee.
August 11, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterbethie
Fabulous pictures!!
August 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBria
i love your hair. yeah, i know you "wash" it with the brita 'fridge water but it's adorable. if you ever care to share what exactly you and your stylist agree upon, i'd love to have the ammo to take to my own. thank you.
August 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlori
Love Charlie, and love the pictures!

I don't suppose you happen to remember the name of your bedroom wall paint? That's exactly the color I was hoping to paint a room, and none of the samples are quite right.
August 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEmma

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