Book Tour Wrap-up, Part One: Polyamory and Mimosas
April 19, 2011
(Oh, lord, the pet hair. It's not like it's Scott's fault for not keeping up on pet-hair removal. It almost doesn't matter no matter how much you clean, and knowing that leads you to give up. The pets are competing to see how much hair they can get to cling to everything. And have I told you that Charlie's hair is, literally, barbed? So it hooks into rugs and pillows and you cannot vacuum it out, oh no, you have to brush it out and then vacuum and who has the time for that? He should pay me to clean up his mess. His pointy hairs even get stuck IN MY SKIN sometimes. I'll get what I think is a splinter and it's a dog hair embedded in the ball of my foot. The cat, meanwhile, is too fat to properly groom herself, so enormous wads of cat fur will periodically eject from her bottom half and land on my face while I'm sleeping.
And yet for some reason we keep them around.)
It's time for a quick run-through of Part I of our incredibly fun book tour/Mom 2.0 trip. Shall we? Let's do.
First of all, Portland. It appears that no one is in Portland. We would walk and walk and walk, and no one would be around. We feared that maybe a zombie virus had taken over, but then we did run into a few people and they were alarmingly cheery. Portland's zombies are ruddy-faced (for zombies) and unfailingly kind.
I didn't take many pictures in Portland, or at all, really. I brought my smaller and less-good camera, so I wasn't thrilled by my photos. And I know you all expect NO LESS THAN PERFECTION FROM ME. But then Eden kept taking pictures of all the mossy trees? And I just go along with whatever Eden does.
Susan Getgood from BlogHer held our hands for the Portland leg of the book tour, which was kind of her, especially since there are two of us and if one of us had one free hand we might get into mischief, so she really had to focus. You can imagine how tough it was for her when she drove us to the reading and I kept trying to unbuckle myself from the car seat. I might have asked some uncomfortable questions about polyamory, as well. Don't ask me why. It's in the air in that city. (That's your new slogan, Portland! "Portland's Polyamorous!" Email me and I'll tell you where to send my check. And no, I won't accept your BeaverBucks or whatever your Oregon currency is. You have special currency there, right, Oregon?)
The day of our Portland reading, without fail almost every single person I knew from Portland sent me a tweet and/or email letting me know that DARN IT that day was the ONE DAY they had some other obligation, wouldn't you know it? But good luck! Most of them had reasonable excuses (most of them) but the collective effect was discouraging.
I might have hyperventilated a teensy bit.
Despite my worrying/panting into a paper bag, we ended up with an enthusiastic crowd-let in Portland. And they laughed at our jokes, which proves they were drunker than we were. Also, the people at Powell's were so goddamn thoughtful and enthusiastic I kind of want to move to Portland just to hang out with them. Maybe they'll be like that every day, for me! I can get the author's discount all the time, right? I'M A GODDAMN AUTHOR.
Next stop: Seattle!
Eden drove the rental car, as I am a delicate creature who can't put her hands on a steering wheel without suffering an attack of the nerves. In return I entertained her with tales of ex-boyfriends and my boisterous version of Wham's "Young Guns (Go For It.)"
(I know all the lyrics. Not to brag.)
(We didn't know George Michaels was gay, you guys! In his denim capris! And are those…espadrilles? Toe shoes? Some kind of festive combination of the two?)
Where was I? In a car! We were driving to Seattle! Eden and I spent the three hours chatting happily and agreeing that we were perfect travel companions for each other and would never fight, ever. (You'd think that was some foreshadowing. You would be incorrect!)
And then we got there. Met by the glorious Jory Des Jardins of Blogher, who was probably clued in to the fact that we had been discussing polyamory and drinking way too many mixed drinks in Portland. She didn't let on, but we could see it in her eyes. The fear/curiosity. She said it was from the cold medication she was on. I still have my doubts.
Seattle is beautiful. We were there for approximately 30 seconds. Many of my favorite people in the world live in Seattle, and they all showed up to the reading. (AHEM, PORTLAND.)
That's Tina Rowley, aka My Favorite Person Who Is Not a Family Member or Eden, on the right! And her charming friend on the left! Oh, I should have written down names.
But we had to leave Seattle! So quickly! And then we were in San Francisco, where we had a few days to catch our breath, hang out with Maggie and other beloveds (Heather Champ! Holly, way too briefly!), and read in both Burlingame and San Francisco proper.
In Burlingame we read at Books, Inc., which was one of our favorite destinations. The store manager (Hi, Earle!) was so kind and he gave us GIFTS, you guys. Gifts! We both got tote bags, Moleskine notebooks, and dark chocolates. I ate all of mine before we had even left the store. I have a self-control problem. Eden is probably gazing serenely at hers right now. Maybe she's letting one of the dark-chocolate discs dissolve on her tongue over the next twelve hours. This is how she messes with my head.
And then…the next day? A couple of days later? We read at Green Apple Books in the city, and we had a teeny space to read in, but I like that because it makes even a small crowd look like more then we can handle. This particular reading came with groupies!
These adorable daughters of Jenijen were Eden's groupies alone, I suspect, but they let me sign their t-shirts and..faces as well. I was so Henry-deprived by then I practically threw myself at them and maybe I tried to smell their heads a little, shut up, I can't remember.
Here's the post-reading brunch-up. Lisa Stone was there to make sure we didn't polish off too many mimosas and take our tops off, Eden.
I loved these two. That's Kat on the left, and her hilarious friend whose name left my head almost immediately. I was too dazzled by her dimples.
Self-photobombing. It's a thing. (That's the lovely author of Suki Cooks, by the way.)
That's it for our BlogHer-sponsored leg of the book tour, aka The Part Where We Had Cheerleaders and Awesome. Next up: Chicago and Minneapolis. Which city won? You'll have to read tomorrow to find out.
Reader Comments (39)
I was one of the two ladies in Portland who brought a real, live baby with her to the reading. (Not the one who asked about breastfeeding; the other one.) I wanted to let you know that it was delightful to meet you both. I've been reading both your blogs since Henry and Jackson were very small. I wish I'd had it together enough to go to the pub beforehand, but, the baby. It eats time.
Anyway, thank you for coming Portlandward!
I live in none of the places you traveled to read from your book; however, I think I did do a large portion of the dance routine from that Wham! video in my aerobics class at the Y this morning, and now, as I glance down at my cropped workout pants, which, hooray, I'm still wearing hours later, I'm beginning to wonder if I shouldn't question my own sexuality. Thankfully, I chose not to wear my leather vest to workout because I don't like to sweat that much.
(p.s. - Even though I wasn't AT any of those bookstores, I do work at one, so I've had the chance to read your book, so please don't think I'm just randomly showing up in your comments and wondering about myself. Truth be told, I enjoyed it just as much as I enjoy men, which is to say, in that respect, I'm a lot more like George Michael than I even realized.)
I need to learn to write a book and go on fun book tour adventures! It's really early in the morning and I just need coffee. But I do remember WHAM! and I do remember loving George Micheal and I also remember wondering....were we all that clueless? I never saw the lead singer of Judas Priest coming though.
Glad you had safe travels.
Best,
Tina
This really has nothing to do with the actual content of your blog post at all, but I also know all the words to "Young Guns" by Wham! And I can also recite the uh.... "Wham! Rap". God, I wish I was kidding.
Nope, no clue that George Michael was gay. Even though my mom insisted he was, my sister and I thought she was crazy. (My mom still gloats about that.)
Jenijen's girls are just improbably adorable. I love them.
I so very much wanted to be at your SF reading thing, but, well. Social anxiety and whatnot. I'm sure you understand.
Oh my god, you kill me. Portland's Polyamorous! BeaverBucks! You totally "get" Portland after such a short visit! Tell me you've seen Portlandia, right?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVmq9dq6Nsg
I'm sure we're all enjoying reading about the book tour (I definitely am), but most of us clearly feel the need to comment on the Wham! video and accompanying commentary. My 7th grade self would never have thought to question George Michael's sexuality, and what does it say about mine that I (a straight female) dressed as Boy George for Halloween that year? But anyway, can I request additional embedded music videos and accompanying commentary? Because that totally made my day.
There is probably no way to convince you to come to Detroit, is there? Or Ann Arbor?? I'd suggest Ann Arbor, as there is almost no chance you would get shot on your trip.
My husband and I left our souls in Portland when we visited a few years back. We should probably go get them some day. Part of the appeal is the Oregon State mascot. When we were there, The Beavers were playing the Trojans and they won. Go Beavers!
You guys sure know how to rock a book tour. Glad you are safely ensconced with your family.
Hi Alice!
We had so much fun with you guys! My friend whose name left your head is Trina, and she does have some incredible dimples. :)
I *thought* I knew all the words to "Young Guns," but as it turns out I did not. All this time, I thought the drummer was saying "Portion Pays!" right after George has his (manly) line about "lookin' back on the good old days." -Huh. Also, just what is an H.P. bed?
Thank you for clearing that up for me, and I am glad you are home with your family and fur. Please come to Milwaukee soon.
It's George Michael, not Michaels. Sorry. I'm a stickler for this.
As you should be, Camila. AS YOU SHOULD BE.
(Am I turning into my mom? I knew it didn't look right, but I went with it. At least I didn't call him "That George Michaels homosexual fellow.")
Good lord, you are delightful. I'm entirely bummed I missed your San Francisco readings. So you'll just have to write another book and come back. (COME BACK, ALICE.) (That just got a little creepy, didn't it?) (Sorry.) (Probably not as sorry as I should be.)
Still waiting for your book tour to swing down into Texas. And I promise that if you come to Austin I will be there. Even if it's my child's birthday.
P.S. I still love Andrew Ridgeley. I practiced writing "Jennie Ridgeley" about thousand times. Just wanted to be ready for when we got married!
If you'll make Finslippy shirts, we will wear them when we come to see you on your next book tour. Was wonderful spending time with you! xo
OR -- we can make our own! We're semicrafty that way.
I just put May 12th on the calendar.
Oh, Alice. It was all I could do not to move into your purse and smuggle myself home with you. But I would have had to abandon the car. And, I guess, my family. Which, why was that going to be such a big deal?! I should have done it! Stupid, stupid, stupid!
That's my handsome bearded husband in SF. Yay! Also. Please tell jenijen's eldest daughter that bye-bye squid eye has taken on new meaning in our house now that we know the colossal squid's eye is as large as a bowling ball! Toodle oo, kangaroo.
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