Be good, for goodness' sake

(The following took place as we considered the three-foot-tall Santa standee my mom gave us, in revenge for not taking her festive goblets.)

Scott: I think we should put it in Henry's room all year. You know, since he's so scared of being alone.

Alice: It'll just confuse him now that the Christmas season is over. Which is why we should cloak it in a dark shroud. Then it'll be a comforting, anonymous presence, watching him from the shadows.

Scott: Or we could put it under his bed. So he always knows it's down there. Listening.

Alice: Can we rig something to knock at the underside of his bed at irregular intervals? So it's like he's reminding him, I'm under here, keeping you safe?

Scott: Or a motion-activated recording. "Ho, ho, I'm down here, and I'm watching you."

Alice: Make it a whisper, so it doesn't startle him while he's sleeping.

Comments

[Lacey]

y'all are probably the best parents ever.

[Erica]

Are you already saving for the therapy bills or are you just going to get a loan down the road?

[All Adither]

Poor kid. But it makes ME laugh.

[aisha]

LOL, that was hilarious..... if you were to do this, I could only imagine the therapist's expression 20 years from now when he describes the cloaked santa watching from a distance, :)

[daysgoby]

Oh, Alice!

Year from now Charlie will tell his therapist he can't understand why the Boogeyman brought him presents, and why his Mom left him with the creepy old man.

(you make me laugh!)

[SuburbanCorrespondent]

I don't think this comes up in all-Jewish households....

[tulip]

After we stopped laughing my husband and I decided that we want to send money for Henry's therapy. ;)You and Scott are so awesome.

[Gretchen]

Thank you for a great laugh (out loud even). I even had to show my hu'band when he got home.

[Barb]

This is one of those moments that you can hang on to and when your adult child comes to you with all his emotional baggage that he claims is from you, then you can say, "Oh you think you're messed up now?? Well, we had many opportunities to mess you up worse and we didn't take them!"

[alecto]

is it too late to trade for the goblets?

[Lisa V]

My sister-in-law gave us a two foot tall snow man that laughs and nods it's head. It's being stored in the 5 year old's closet. Sometimes plugged in, sometimes not.

[Jen in CT]

uh, and this is supposed to help him not be afraid, how?

(lol!)

[jenB]

All of those ideas sound like a very soothing manner for a small child to go to sleep. You guys kill me.

xo

[Strizz]

ooh EVIL, I love it.

[MommyTime]

Hilarious. And, like Santa should, it really should whisper that it never sleeps and is always watching him. That should be really comforting.

[Candy]

You guys are kinda creepy.

[dutch]

I am dying over the knocking at "irregular" intervals.

[Sarah]

If this were on Flickr, I'd fave it.

[The Mom Bomb]

I vote for the dark shroud. Put a "Jason"-style hockey mask on it, too. Just for that special touch.

[kate]

Erica's comment made me laugh as much as this post. Ya'll are SICK.

[Mrs. Who]

My daughter was married three years ago at Christmas time. One of their wedding gifts was a singing Santa. Seriously. We all looked for a card or some money or something in the package to indicate it was a joke, but no. It was a singing Santa. For a wedding gift. At least your Santa does not sing. Or talk. Until you make him, that is.

[Becky]

Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha!

I freaking love it. Thanks, Alice.

[Sue]

You should totally put it in a clown costume before you hide it under the bed.

Ayeeeeeee!

[Sarcomical]

okay, The Husband's out of town tonight, and reading this just made ME scared to go to bed.

heh.

[Norma]

I'm not sure which is more funny, your post or all the comments! Poor kid!