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Let's Panic: The Book!

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How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant
who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain,
and Finally Turn You
into a Worthwhile
Human Being.

Written by Alice Bradley and Eden Kennedy

Some Books
I'm In...

Sleep Is
For The Weak

Chicago Review Press

Home - Middle Row

Let's Panic

The site that inspired the book!

At LET'S PANIC ABOUT BABIES, Eden Kennedy and I share our hard-won wisdom and tell you exactly what to think and feel and do, whether you're about to have a baby or already did and don't know what to do with it. → 

« The big time: basic cable. | Main | Three years, one month, and ten days ago. »

At least it’s for me and not at  me.

Scene: Apartment. Alice is running from room to room, cursing under her breath. Henry is sitting amidst the piles of Star Wars guys.

Henry: Play with me. Play with me, Mommy. Play with me. Play with me. Play with me, Mama. [He knows this gets me.]

Alice: I can’t find my book. Where the hell did I put my book?


Alice: I’m so frustrated! I have been looking everywhere for my book, which I just started, and I didn't want to like it but I do and I WAS JUST READING IT WHAT THE HELL DID I DO WITH IT?

Henry: I’m so frustrated too because you can’t find your book. Now play with me.

Alice: You have to give me a minute.

Henry: I am so mad at you right now.

Alice looks at the garbage bin. Could it be in there? But how? Why? What? She flips it open.

Alice: Henry! Do you want to hear a funny story?

Henry: I do want to hear a funny story.

Alice: My book was in the garbage, Henry. I put the book in the garbage. Because I am a crazy lady.

Henry: And I am laughing and laughing for you!

Reader Comments (54)

My god, i do heart Henry, i do i do. What a delightful kid he is.
November 22, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterLydia
i thought that was a funny, well written book. not all books have to be litereary and snotty to be good and this one is just plain old nice to read. i expected it to suck (which does nto explain why i went to the trouble of BGUYING it) and was pleasantly surprised when it did not.
November 22, 2005 | Unregistered Commenterhonestyrain
and then my typos took over the world and me along with it.
November 22, 2005 | Unregistered Commenterhonestyrain
It's really not a mommy thing. I've put my hairbrush in with the soup spoons, the milk in the pantry, and travelers' checks in the junk drawer ($300! Eeeek!).
November 22, 2005 | Unregistered Commenterrebecca
ok - i never comment... but that book totally BELONGS in the garbage... talk about feeling like there was no hope as a working mom after reading it...
November 22, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterDaniela
so, umm, how *does* she do it?

just looking for, you know, tips.
November 22, 2005 | Unregistered Commentersweetney
Mrs. Kennedy is correct. I read that book and it was okay (I tend to like that kind of stuff),but you could do much better! I bet it would be great! Hey! At least you wrapped it in plastic first. That's something!
November 22, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterHD
OK, I just want to tell you something: Thank God that's unusual for you. Because the freaking out goes with it and that gets old real fast. If you do it every day. Like I do.

Not only can you write something better than that, you do write something better than that.
November 22, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterOzma
About a year ago I went to the cashpoint to draw out £50. This had to last me the whole week as that was my very strict budget. After the machine gave me back my card, I walked away.I then went into a shop about 300 yards away, went to buy something and then realised that I'd walked away before picking up the cash.I ran back - no cash. I asked inside the bank but the machine had not taken the cash back in. Someone else had pocketed it.I cried!
November 22, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterMolly
The wrapping it in plastic first is a nice touch. In my house it's the kid who places special things into the trash (or the tub, or the toilet (attempted only).) I also have been zombie-like with stress and lack of sleep recently. Maybe it's the approaching holidays?

A co-worker (co-freelancer) recommended that book to me when I was pregnant, and I kind of brushed off the suggestion. Now I'm going to take another look, if only for a fluffy-enjoyment read.

Possible Finslippy motto: "I do want to hear a funny story."
November 23, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterS-Way
Ha. I am laughing and laughing for you (and Henry!) too.
November 23, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterEm
I've had those days. Part and parcel of parenting, to be sure, but mind-addling nonetheless.At least Henry could add some humour to the situation!
November 23, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterTree
Ech, that book BELONGS in the trash! Don't know how she does it? She doesn't, that's how. So annoying.

I'd rather read this:
November 23, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterAmy
I second (third?) Amy and Daniela--I really enjoyed the writing style, and hated the character. She was a crappy mom and a crappy wife and a pretty unpleasant person in general (but probably a really good employee). Hated her, on behalf of all women who actually do a decent job balancing work and parenthood.
November 23, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterQueenie
My children put my books in the trash for me.

I am also laughing and laughing for you.
November 23, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterJenn
I liked that book too. (blushing)

I once threw my socks in the toilet instead of the hamper.

You are not alone.
November 23, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterTorrie
How funny that you're reading that just now, so am I--lead to it by Maud Newton's comments last Wed. on Caitlin Flanagan, which linked to Slate's op-ed, which linked to her Atlantic Monthly piece "The Sex-Starved Marriage"--which referenced the book. Wondering if that's how you were lead to it too. I agree it's crummy. Thought between Anthony Lane & Knopf it would have been great. How She Really Does It is a response to this one. Journalistic interviews w/ Amy Tan, Liz Lang, etc. It's a brighter picture of the "stay at work mom" w/o the fluff and clichés.
November 23, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterEllen
Chick lit? Belongs in the garbage.

I once put a cup of coffee in the linen closet and didn't discover it until the next day.
November 23, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterJulie
Ah yes. I've been there.

I've looked all over my apartment for keys I was already holding. I kept thinking to myself, "I'm annoyed by this thing in my hand. And where the fuck are my keys?"
November 23, 2005 | Unregistered Commenterroo
We move so fast on autopilot to accomplish all we "need" to. Ever moved so fast that you've shut your head in the fridge? Affirmative.
November 23, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterBeenThere
Julie, I think the term "chick lit" belongs in the garbage.
November 24, 2005 | Unregistered Commenteralice
Love your stories! I go about laughing and laughing at them all of the time.
November 24, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterJanis
Alice, good point. Lots of great works being unfairly characterized as fluff. And one person's great work is another person's drivel.
November 25, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterJulie
The terms "chick-lit" and "women's fiction" both seem to imply that women need our writing to be specially ph-balanced for our tiny little minds. And our trivial concerns.
November 25, 2005 | Unregistered Commenterroo
how sweet, I've had zillions of those days, too!
November 25, 2005 | Unregistered Commenterjulie persons

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