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Let's Panic: The Book!

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How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant
who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain,
and Finally Turn You
into a Worthwhile
Human Being.

Written by Alice Bradley and Eden Kennedy

Some Books
I'm In...

Sleep Is
For The Weak

Chicago Review Press

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Let's Panic

The site that inspired the book!

At LET'S PANIC ABOUT BABIES, Eden Kennedy and I share our hard-won wisdom and tell you exactly what to think and feel and do, whether you're about to have a baby or already did and don't know what to do with it. → 

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Apologies in advance

I am sure that posting will be light for the next few weeks because of the move. The imminent move. The frighteningly imminent move.

We need to be out of here by March 1, which means that we need to, uh, pack. Pack, and more importantly, discard whatever we're not taking with us, which is a lot. We've spent the last three years filling up this four-bedroom, two-floor-plus basement house, and we're somehow going to have to pare down our belongings to fit a 900-square-foot apartment. I don't really know how this feat is going to be accomplished, but I suspect several charities are going to get some very large bags full of our belongings, and several more of our neighbors will be bequeathed whatever's too big to stuff into bags.

Why is the idea of tossing away everything so exhilarating? Or is it just me? I like to buy crap just as much as the next consumer, and yet the idea of setting everything out on the curb fills me with glee. We have very few items that I'd feel sad about losing. I'm afraid that once I start shedding belongings I won't be able to stop. I'm going to be in the new place and realize that I gave away all my pants.

The new place! We have a new place! So, uh, I hope this house closing goes smoothly, because otherwise, whoops. We're renting in the heart of Park Slope, and I will officially be that most loathed of creatures—the Park Slope Mom. I intend to start pushing around a double-wide stroller, just for the hell of it. While walking slowly. And drinking a latte. And shouting at my imaginary daughter Finona not to run into traffic.

Reader Comments (93)

Oh Lord, I'm sorry about the packing and all that. I'm glad you are getting something out of it.

I envy your ability to throw things away. How does one do that? I have trouble throwing away a coffee cup. I mean: A paper coffee cup. Literally.
February 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterozma
Hope I run into you sometime. I have been in the Slope for 12 years now and finally achieved mommydom 18 months ago. I considered moving but I feel that I have really put in my time and EARNED my mongo stroller and goshdarnit I am going to PUSH that thing. As slowly as I fricking want. Can't wait to read your impressions. Unasked-for advice: Join Park Slope Parents listserv for the entertainment factor, at least. Read my blog post on the PSP Classifieds as a warning, though.
February 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbri
What is it with Finona? I just saw her yesterday running across a highway!

Did you throw her things away?

I'm a pack rat, and if anyone threw my stuff away, I'll be dodging traffic to. Maybe.
February 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVid Digger
Good luck with the move! I can unequivocally say that Park Slope's gain will be New Jersey's

And I feel for you, as far as the move goes, though we did somewhat the reverse: went from a 1500 SF mother-daughter in Bayonne which had ten people in it (me, my wife, our six kids, her mother and husband) to six people in a 2400 SF house in Toms River. Amazing the amount of crap to move.

Good luck!
February 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBrian
Park Slope is great, my family has a plumbing and heating business there! Hope your move goes smoothly!
February 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSamantha
If you won't be posting until March, you just gave me another reason to look forward to Spring. :)

Good luck, Alice!! I love paring down, too. Izzy will be a great help in packing. I can't speak for Charlie, Henry, or even Scott, but the cat will enjoy the packing process immensely.
February 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa
Hello fellow blogger, I stopped by your site and thought maybe you would like to swap links with me, after adding with the title "Blog Till Death" to your site, message me and I will add yours...have a great day
February 8, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterrandy bragg
The one silver lining of moving is throwing out all the crap - - streamlining! Good luck! And you'll feel soooo good when it's done!
February 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterElaine at Lipstickdaily
Best of luck with the move! If you're up for it, Craigslist the stuff you want to give away, make people come to you to get it and then take the money they pay you and buy new smaller stuff from Ikea. I love Ikea. Everything is so so tiny. I love to go there and stand in the super small mock apartment they have. And think of getting rid of all my stuff and moving to Holland.
February 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca
How exciting!!!
February 12, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersteph
Didn't you just move from Brooklyn to the suburbs? I need to read this blog more often...or time is inexplicably speeding up.
February 12, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterteamlala
I'm slightly behind the times, but just wanted to say good luck and best wishes! And, I too love getting rid of things we don't need. Whenever I see how much junk we've accumulated I feel overindulgent and like I embody everything foreigners hate about Americans. Here's to pawning off the junk on people who could really use it. *clink*
February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBeth in SF
My husband says I buy too much just to have the thrill of getting rid of it--go figure!
February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJena
Hi there, I'm new to your world and I haven't commented yet because I've been to busy going through all of your archives. Since I'm creepy like that.

However, I just read your story of Minty Bear and it seriously made me cry. At work. That's right, I'm currently trying not to sob too loudly so my boss doesn't hear me in his office. I don't know what this says about me - that a fictional story of a teddy bear leaving the boy she loves can make me tear up - but I just couldn't keep it to myself.

Thanks for making my work day just a little bit brighter!
February 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth
My husband and I moved into our first house August of 2007. We moved from an itty bitty apartment we have been sharing for about 3 years and I couldn't believe how much we had to move. To think about what we have collected in the year and a half we have lived in the this home, the thought of moving makes me not want to move...ever. It makes me hope that I die in this house. Kudos to you for having a better outlook than me!
February 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKate
Purging! I love purging! Get my kids out of the house for 20 minutes and give me a plastic bag and I will rid the house of all of the little plastic kid's meal toys that seem to breed in the closets and under the car seats. I don't even know how we end up with those toys. My default at our house is always, "We don't need it"...and out it goes.

I am terrified that my kids will be so traumatized that I will have to walk through pathways of stuff in their future homes to play with my grandkids.

Does being a purging mom lead to hoarding kids?

I love your blog and I think I love you. I bumbled across it looking for info on "fevers in toddlers" -and read something so funny that you wrote in 2004 that I had to do my Kegels.

Gosh. So funny.
February 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy
Hi Alice---I believe I met you at the Watsessing Book Fair a couple weeks ago. I was the mom who has no kids in elementary school, who lives in Halcyon Park. I had no idea you were the author of Finslippy . Wow! Ive read your blog once or twice and found it very cute, I missed those days (as I told you at the fair). I wish you and your family the best of luck. Home-ownership is not for everyone. Being surrounded by family means so much. Enjoy your new home in Brooklyn. Denise Serbay
February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDenise Serbay
good luck with the move!
March 2, 2009 | Unregistered Commentergila

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