And now, a sexy story for you
September 16, 2011A couple of days ago I was getting out of the shower, and while I was changing, I noticed that I had cut the top of my toe. (Not the big toe. A lesser toe. I don't know why this detail is important.) Scott noticed it as well, or maybe I stuck my toe in his face and shouted "LOOK I AM BLEEDING PLEASE HELP" (I sometimes do this) and he said, reasonably enough, "How did you do that?"
I hesitated. Then I thought, you know what? We've been together for seventeen years. It's about time he knew this about me. "Well," I said, "I…I must have nicked it with the razor."
"The razor? But why…?"
"Because," I said. "Because I have furry hobbit toes. And I shave them."
"You ... shave your toes?" I have never seen him look more confused.
"DON'T JUDGE ME," I did not shout. But I thought it. Maybe I said it?
"It's better that you don't know too much about this," I said. "But yes."
"But I don't understand," he said, "why would you shave them?"
"As opposed to what? Waxing? Burning?"
"No," he said, "I would think you would pluck them."
And then I backed slowly out of the room, then out the door, then down the stairs, and now I don't know where I am.
No, but seriously. Pluck them? I don't even know where to start with this. Does he think I have one or two weird aberrant hairs that sprout up on my toes? I have tiny mini-forests that would sprout on every toe if I didn't maintain them. Should I not have told you that?
Perhaps the sexiest detail in this story is that I was getting ready to go to the OB/GYN. Yes, I was shaving my toes for my doctor. No reason she should have to deal with anything less than the most hairless of feet in her stirrups!
Aaaand I've just lost my last male reader. My work here is done.
Reader Comments (87)
Hot damned woman you crack me up! Of course shave, its quick and easy. Although not sure how you made it dangerous :0)
This is why I only shave my big toe - the risk of bleeding. But plucking just might work for me - but ouch? Yes, knicking hurts, but it's quick and more of a sting. But plucking is repetitive pain. Obviously, Scott has not plucked anything, ever.
I also shave my toes...and cut them occasionally. Perhaps we should start a club!
I tried electrolysis to permanently get rid of toe top hair. Nope, didn't work AND hurt like hell.
I briefly and drunkenly considered BRAIDING my toe hair. But plucking it? That's crazy talk.
pluck them? PLUCK THEM? wtf?! yeah, I shave my toes too. I get you. pfft. Pluck them. geeze.
I shave my big toes...and my husband knows it! Pluck???? Has the man never plucked a hair? I save the root-ripping for my eyebrows and lip.
Wait....wait a minute...there are women who DON'T shave their toes?
dude, i totally shaved my toes! toe shavers unite...or at least commiserate
What a hoot! I have to shave my toes also because ewwwww....hairy toes!
And pluck them? Ouch!
So, I've been shaving my big toes for years, but I didn't realize that my little toes had hair on them until I caught one in the light. And then I relegated myself to the bathroom to shave and weep and gnash my teeth, because seriously, I hate having toe hair. I also hate that I HAD NO IDEA I HAD HAIR ON MY LITTLER TOES.
I don't appreciate the non-big toes being referred to as "lesser toes".
I'm with this, but upkeep is generally a summer routine only. I suggest that Scott attempt plucking any part of his anatomy that he presently shaves! And, this post made my DAY.
This exact situation happened in my household except I lied and told my husband that the razor dropped on my toe. Either he is a total fool or loves me enough to stop asking me questions because he had nothing to say to that. Not my finest moment.
Oh man, this made me laugh. Why on earth would you shave your legs yet keep those little hairs on your toes and the tops of your feet? Of course you shave them! I have to admit that my husband was somewhat scandalized when he actually saw me do this one day though. It never even occurred to me that it could be considered weird.
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Again you have made me laugh and cry and laugh some more! And also feel perfectly normal in that I too need to shave past (below) my ankles
Ahem. I buy a bottle of Nair specifically for my toes. I am myopic to the Nth degree and, while I can manage to razor my legs, those smaller appendages are just too far away to see properly. And, oh, the carnage that results!
I feel SO much better being out of the closet ...
Thanks, Alice!
Count me among the toe shavers.
The toe shaving drives me nuts! Worst of all, I discovered that my toe-maintenance now extends to the 4th toe. What the hell, where did that forest of hair come from? I'm 42, I'm sure I'm supposed to be getting less body hair any day now.
You just ruined the illusion. WTMI
I'm leaving now. . .
In an informal poll of all my lady-friends, all shave their toes. Even my sister, who doesn't shave her legs because she is some kind of wizard who has translucent body hair, shaves her toes because they have darker hair.
Now can we all talk about our small but growing collection of beard hairs? What's up with that? And why are they all positioned so that I can only see them if I use my hand to pull my cheek across my face? Terribly inconvenient.
I shave my toes too. if I didn't, I'd have monkeys swinging around that jungle.
omg, i love you and this post. the end.
signed, a fellow toe shaver
Alas, there is a secret society of women who shave their toes. We are finally coming out of the closet...or shower.
I'm so happy to hear that I am not the only one that does this, and has actually cut herself. I love that he offered up plucking as an alternative and didn't question or get disgusted that you have hair on your toes! That's a true man/husband :-)