*I just had to complete that Julian of Norwich quote from my last post. (Which is actually "All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well," if you want to be accurate about it, which I DO.)
Oh, my dears. I was not exactly on the brink a couple of days ago, but I WAS slipping down a steep hill (figuratively) and headed straight for the (psychic) muck, and you pulled me up. I can not tell you how much your emails and comments helped. Thank you, thank you. I would invite you all to my place for tea but you wouldn't all fit and it would take forever to brew that much tea, and really, let's think this through, guys. It can't happen! No matter how I want it to!
Thank you all for being kind and wise and generous. I hope the support I got has helped other people, because I can't keep it all to myself.
I feel so much better. Your responses were a huge part of that. What also helped: just recovering. As much as panic brought on Sunday's retch-fest, I'm pretty sure a virus played a part, because the feelings of despair, along with the queasiness, lifted exactly 24 hours later. While I laid about, I found past episodes of SMASH on Hulu, and those amused me. (That is one silly show. So many silly geese, Broadwaying around!) Not to mention: talking to my psychiatrist about what was going on. It's always good to get professional feedback and reassurance, as well as productive ACTION STEPS.
Also cheering: taking my dog to the park. (There is nothing better than Charlie losing his MIND when I pull out a poop bag. He's all I KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS and he scrambles all around the kitchen tiles because what could be better than pooping? WHAT? And when I pull out MULTIPLE bags--which I do whenever we go on longer walks--his flip-out is multiplied times a million. Have you ever seen the Manchurian Candidate? When Laurence Harvey's hypnotic trigger is the Queen of Diamonds and then Frank Sinatra shows him an entire DECK of the Queen of Diamonds like extra Queens mean Extra Hypnotized and Harvey gets super-twitchy? Charlie acts like that, except with more wagging.)
(I just tried to find that clip online and I could not. And I was explaining to Scott why I wanted that clip and now Scott thinks I have truly lost my mind. This is because Scott never takes Charlie on long walks because I always do because I am the best person ever.)
(here's the trailer, anyway. It's a weird one! And look, the freeze frame is the scene I was referring to! Please watch this movie if you have not already.
But maybe don't watch The Manchurian Candidate if you're feeling anxious? Just a thought. I'd recommend Smash instead but it's crazy dumb.)
Well! Thank goodness THAT long series of parentheticals is over. I think we've all learned a little something here. I'm not sure what, yet. I'll get back to you.
And you guys? What can I do for you? What do you want? Name it and it's yours! I have some more sketches and paintings I can show you. Want a video? Want me to dance for you? I WILL DEGRADE MYSELF, WITHIN REASON. (Note: I probably will not degrade myself.)