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How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant
who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain,
and Finally Turn You
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Written by Alice Bradley and Eden Kennedy

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« Poetry time! | Main | Or maybe this is how our landlord plans to get rid of us »
Tuesday
May222012

A selection of words my 9-year-old finds inappropriate and/or hilarious

Ball
Sack
Bag
Thing
Dinghy
Stick  
Weiner (obvious)
Wean
Peony
Ball-peen hammer
Peeve
Pretty much any word that contains the sound "pee"
Crack
Hole
Naked
Nude
Hot
Bang
Boob (I meant it like "fool"! LIKE FOOL!)
Bra
Breast (preceding it with "chicken" only makes it funnier)  
Make out (like, "How'd you make out with that assignment?")
But
Butt
Butte
Panty
Girlfriend

(Why yes, I am living in a Matt Groening cartoon.)

Reader Comments (34)

Hahah I was going to make the same point of others that that list is universally funny, we just learned to keep it to ourselves. Like when I used to teach 5th grade, and someone farted and everyone laughed. And I was ABOUT to say that someday they won't think people farting in a quiet room is funny.... which is totally not true. So I told them farting will always be funny, but they'll just learn not to laugh.

My son went through a song period where he would sing a song much like Cindy's son but more scatological.

Toilet, toilet, poop poop, pee, toilet, butt butt. ad nauseum

May 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commenternutmeg

Dear Henry,
In Boca Raton, Florida, there is a street called Butts Road. You're welcome.

May 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGreen

I approve of this list. Also need to add moist, lover, and "making love". (i got chills just writing that.

May 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca

OMG I am LMFAO at this list & all the cmts. My husband, too, laughs at all of these. They're missing the part of the genome that provides that social filter I guess. I have a girl about to turn 4 and was astounded (ASS-tounded: see, that word gets funny in a year or two) to find that laughing at farts is *not* learned behavior. My daughted has been laughing at all farts since she was 18 mos old- hers, mine, daddy's, the dog's. I was gobsmacked- I thought for sure, with a girl, I'd be safe from fart jokes. Nooooo way Jose. Either that or she secretly got every last one of her dad's genes and none of mine, which means she will start making bad puns as soon as she can conjugate verbs properly- which is any minute now. Hmmm.

May 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

1. All of those words are funny. Clearly.
2. Dookie is also funny. I don't know why.
3. Crested Butte. Discuss. You're so welcome.

May 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMermil

A co-worker of mine just told a story at his retirement party where he compared a land feature to a weiner when talking to a city official. He meant the hot-dog kind; but she did a double-take and when he told the story the whole room broke up.

May 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmy in StL

The ball-peen hammer cracked me up! I'm sure that as he grows up, he's going to be adding more words to that list. LOL.

June 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPinay WAHM Blogger

Take 10 of those words. Scramble them.

That is the high-brow dinner conversation my 8 year-old attempts to start every night. Godspeed to 15, Alice; then it's all Axe spray and LOTS of laundry.

June 3, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterhighlyirritable

He finds them all amusing, though, right? I have the added bonus of a 7 y.o. younger sister who joins him in his potty humor amusement until they are rolling on the ground in hysterical laughter. They can't watch the "Somebody that I used to Know" video (or hear the song) without giggles and some mention of his nipple. My mother would be horrified.

Also? Peen? Great word.

June 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterWombat Central

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