A rant, because this is all I can do.
January 3, 2013Right before Christmas, I got to have a needle core biopsy on my right breast. A few days before that, I found an impressive lump, which I quickly had checked out by my GP, who hurried me along to get a mammogram and an ultrasound. The radiologist informed me that I had a few cysts (six!) in my right breast as well as a tumor (a large one!) which he preceded with the words "definitely benign," so as to keep me from falling off the table. It worked! "Definitely benign" has a lovely, comforting ring to it. Still, though, he said we'd want to do the biopsy right away, which they did. And after it was all done, and I was lying there icing my poor, drilled boob, the warm, comforting, grandfatherly doctor who performed the biopsy assured me--PROMISED me--that the results would be in two days later, "at the latest."
HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAaaaaa. Hurk.
I'm not going to bury the lede, here: I still don't have the results. And although I have been assured that I am most definitely going to be all fine, I would like to know, please, thank you and goodbye. I would like to not think about this any longer. And yet I am forced to think about this, a lot longer. I am feeling a little crazy. I am ready to march down to the NYU labs and start knocking heads together. Only then they wouldn't be able to give me the results, what with all the brain injuries.
And you know, if they had TOLD me it would take a while, I would have resigned myself. If they hadn't said to me, "This is the last thing you want to worry about over the holidays," I would have expected to worry about it over the holidays. Worrying's what I do, after all, so I'd add this to the list. But since they were all concern and rush-rush with me from the start, I assumed we would continue on that course. It's fun to assume things.
Instead, when I called the radiologist's office two days later, I received an incredulous "What? Of course the results aren't in yet." Then I was told to call back in a few hours. Once again, I was met with incredulity. Two days! Do I think I'm the Queen? The Queen of New York? "Call back Monday, that's when they'll be in," I was told. I couldn't believe I would now have to wait an entire weekend. Ha, ha! I was so cute, back then.
On Monday, the same woman who assured me the results would be in on Monday was amazed I would think they'd be in on Monday. "It's Christmas Eve! The lab's not even open." Call back Wednesday, she said. Because duh.
I bet you can guess what she said on Wednesday. And on that day, my friends, on that day I said to myself, "I will not be calling this office ever again. I now hate this person, and I don't want to hate someone, so I will turn my attention solely to my GP." Oh, because also, after the fifth phone call, the woman at the radiologist's finally told me that no one but my GP could give me the results anyway, so really there was no reason to call her. This is the same woman who was standing right there as Dr. Grandpa lovingly squeezed my shoulder and assured me I'd wait but 48 hours, at the most. She didn't roll her eyes even a little when he said that, and I LOOKED.
My GP continues to take my calls and emails, but she's not getting answers either, and today I couldn't stand it anymore so I called the radiologist's, again. My hate had receded, and I thought, maybe in 2013 the lady who answers the phone will be nicer. Maybe she'll tell me whom to harass at the lab. Who knows? Stranger things have happened.
"Hi, it's Alice again. Alice Bradley," I said, chuckling (why chuckling?). "Still waiting on those biopsy results, as you know." Chuckle, chuckle. Oh, me.
"They're not in yet," she said.
"Wow," I said. "This is getting nuts." Mildly, though. She could hold my results hostage, after all, so I'm trying to stay on her good side. I mean, if she has one.
And, then, my friends, she hung up. On me? Or just because she was done? I'll never know.
And, look, I sympathize. A little. She's not in control of when the lab results come in. But she should sympathize too, no? A little.
Reader Comments (61)
I had an excisional biopsy of two "probably benign" breast lumps two years ago. They were benign, but the 5-day wait was excruciating but at least it didn't ruin my Christmas. Sending you good thoughts, and may you get those results soon!
I love it when you're all more outraged than I am. I didn't think that was possible!
By the way, I *am* calling the doc, not the lab. And it did occur to me that the lab was damaged in Hurricane Sandy, so I don't fault them. I *do* fault the doctor for swearing on his everything that I would have the results within 48 hours.
Been checking Twitter for results like a tic...Now I'm trembling with rage on your behalf and channeling swear words from languages I do not know. Just tell us -- give us Dr. Do Little's contact info and we'll organize the flash mob from there.
I was hoping by the time I was able to comment on this, you'd have an update with the results. When I had my first biopsy I was told that if it was positive, they would call me withing two weeks. If no word, within that time, they would just send out a letter that all was good.
I got a call two weeks and ONE DAY later. Melanoma. (I'm fine, just lots of check ups and sunscreen).
Oh, dear, I'm not trying to make you feel worse, and really I don't know the point of telling you that, except since then I know that frustration of waiting and each biopsy I now have means two weeks wait because of who my dermatologist contracts with for lab work. Have you contacted the lab to confirm that a sample was received and is pending results? If so, are there results? And from there, when and who were they sent to? Sometimes you have to backtrack. If you don't want to play that kind of detective work, call your insurance company and check for claim activity. Depending on your insurance, you may even be able to look it up online and save the frustration of actually talking to someone.
Tomorrow. We shall all hope tomorrow has answers.
I want to prank-call that woman.
"Yes. This is Alice Bradley's Lab Results. Have I had any messages?"
Hope they are calling you first thing in the morning! Sending love and "results! now!" wishes
((((((((((((((ALICE))))))))))))))))))
If there's anything in your tit besides fat and boob material, another woman is obligated -- OBLIGATED, SO SAYETH I AND THE SISTERHOOD OF BOOB MATERIAL -- to provide appropriate outrage that you don't know what the the boob material interloper is when you are told that you will.
Serious question: If they take any of that interloper shit out of your boob, can you give it to the lady who answers the phone at the radiologist's office? Because I have done that job, and she deserves to receive a little cup of cyst for her "efforts".
Screw her. That is not cool that she hung up on you. She is rude and insensitive. But don't let her get to you. I'll be rooting for you that all will be fine.
Unacceptable. Inexcusable. (consulting thesaurus furiously) REPREHENSIBLE! I am horrified. And so very sorry that you had to sit not through one but TWO holidays waiting for results.
Dr. Grandpa needs to stop patting hands and start reading lab results.
I can relate. :/ Once I had to wait for the results of my "abnormal cell growth" on my cervix. My cervix seems to be fighting this off quite well so far, but still - after every gynie visit now I have to wait to hear how my cells are doing there and every time it is unnerving. Find something hands-on to distract you - something that won't allow you to think too much. And/or get out into the fresh air often.
I would like to add my outrage to all of the other outrage here. I cannot believe the people on the other end of the phone are so ignorant or jaded that they cannot appreciate your sense of urgency. Compassion is supposed to be their thing, right? I do not like these people you have been talking to. Not one bit.
I am having something similar done on the 16th and my pre-procedure anxiety levels are already pretty darn high, even though they also say benign in my case. I can't even imagine what having to wait like this must be like. I hope you get your answers soon!
Unacceptable! (my kids say this in a loud cartoon voice that I can't really replicate here).
Treat yourself to a nice spa experience (and try not to plot revenge the entire time you are on the massage table).
Best wishes!
I'm with the others who have waited for biopsy results and the ones that take the longest are the ones that are benign. Doesn't help with anxiety, though, does it? May I recommend a beheading followed by twenty minutes of meditation?
This sucks. Call your doctor and tell him what is going on. The chances are high that it will be good news, but it just sucks that you are being kept in the dark. And if it's not good news, please let us know--many of us have gone down that rabbit hole and successfully come out the other end. (And PS on cysts - if they give you any discomfort and you drink a lot of caffeine you might try cutting back. It may help.)
good gravy, it always irks me to no end how many inconsiderate and unkind people go into health care - I know some times you can blame a bad day, we all have bad days, but it sounds like she is always that way.
hope you aren't waiting too much longer!
thinking of you!
Alice, reading your post nearly made my heart stop. Tumor and biopsy are some of the scariest words ever. So sorry you're having to deal with this terrifying stuff and on top of that, that you also have to deal with that heartless woman. Sending you all the TLC you can stand. Look forward to reading what we all hope is a happy ending to this story. Meanwhile, peace to you and your family.
Navigating one's way through the medical minefield... it just sucks. Whether you're seriously ill or waiting, as you are, for confirmation that you're not, it's not right. Someone in the comments before me mentioned that the longer you wait, the more likely you're okay since bad things need to be treated sooner rather than later... That's truly what I believe, so I know you're okay.
That said, here's my story: At 35, during a regular breast exam, something seemed a bit suspicious so my doctor sent me for a mammogram. I waited. And I waited. And then I got an answering machine message that the tumor was benign.
WHAT TUMOR????? I HAD SEEPAGE!!!!! NO TUMORS!!!!!
I called the doctor's office convinced I'd be dead by the time I hung up the phone and I was determined to vent before that happened.
And it turned out THOSE WERE SOMEONE ELSE'S TEST RESULTS. They put another (insert my first name here)'s results in my folder and I got hers and she got mine.
What makes me nuckin futs is that something like that can even happen.
(And let's not mention my MIL getting a drug she's allergic to in the hospital because the nurse was reading someone else's chart. Someone not even in the same room with my MIL.)
Post the name and number of the woman to call, and we'll get on it.
And send a written complaint (certified) to the doctor or whoever's running the show. That woman is comepletely out of line, no matter how overworked or stressed out she may be. YOU MATTER!
I think the person who hung up on you worked for American Airlines in her last job.
Good Luck
I am sorry that you are going through this! I am going through a similiar limbo tho not waiting for a biopsy, I am waiting for test results pertaining to scleroderma. Have been waiting for 2 weeks. Very difficult. I hope you hear back soon!
Sending you hugs.
Rage. Please tell us when you hear something! Though now that it's Saturday I guess you're going to be waiting at least another couple of days... Bastards. I mean, understanding, empathy and all that, but delayed results are one thing, outright inhumanity is not excusable. U
I am so sorry you're going through this. I really hope you got the results yesterday. This is wrong, and seriously, that receptionist should be fired. I'm not usually one to say that but I think her treatment borders on cruel.
I wish I could FedEx my mother in-law to your house. She is the Empress of Kicking Ass when it comes to getting lab results and doctor appointments. She gets this imperious tone, this "who do you think you ARE" and "do you know who you're dealing with?" energy that scares the crap out of everyone. She has been known to march into offices, say she's not leaving until she gets the results, threaten to write to presidents of hospitals, etc. PITA, I'm sure, but it works for her.