A conversation about the cat that has nothing to do with her weight
March 20, 2013Henry: The cat hates me. She's always biting and swatting.
Me: It's not personal. She's a cat. Cats are nuts. They hate it when you show too much affection.
Henry: I wasn't even touching her. I was looking at her.
Me: Yes, but with love, I bet. That's your first mistake.
Henry: I was lying there, and she reached over and swatted my face.
Me: You were gazing right at her, right? With love? WITH LOVE? Confess.
Henry: You're weird.
Me: Listen to me. With this cat, the more you like her, the less she likes you.
Henry: She loves Dad.
Me: Because he deeply, deeply dislikes her. And she can't get enough of it. She's all over him the minute he walks in the door. Do you need more proof that she is utterly bananas?
Henry: She's nice to you, too.
Me: Not as much as Dad, though. Because I don't hate her. But I do express my displeasure with her, frequently. That keeps her interested. I'm telling you, if you're more aloof she'll come around.
Henry: Fine. I don't think I like her anymore, anyway.
Me: Keep talking like that and she's going to fall in love, son.
Reader Comments (24)
Our female cat thinks we all can't get enough of her butt. She's all like "Look at it, look at my butt", but then she hits you in the hallway because you had the audacity to, oh, I don't know, look at her butt.
Maybe I should hate her more.
That's called a cat with an off-switch. Wish I had one. Then I could keep QE off the bed at night.
That is a Grade A Basement Cat, too. All the hungrier for hatred and all the more hateful of love.
We have the same cat. All black - even down to her very soul.
It's true. My mother hated all cats, and all cats acted like she was their soulmate.
Currently, our neighbors across the hall have a cat who has fallen madly for my husband. We have visited twice and each time cat winds herself around him (legs, HEAD, you name it) and purrs loudly--you kind of have to look away because it borders on disturbing. The neighbors eventually pry the cat off and lock her in the bathroom where she proceeds to claw the door and yowl. Next time we are inviting the neighbors over our place instead.
I am deathly allergic to cats and don't particularly like most of them. Consequently, even the most aloof cat loves me. They are fickle creatures.
And you can't fake it, either. I should know. I've tried.
I don't EVEN want to think about what our cats are teaching our sons about dating...
I don't know, she's pretty adorable. I think I love her. Am I going to wake up with claw marks on my face?
I'm a dog person. However, my dog loves cats. She tries so hard to make friends and they ignore her or run away. I think she and Henry should commiserate.
My girl cat (who, incidentally, looks exactly like your cat only--and I'm not being catty--skinnier) was a total biting, swatting, asshole when we first got her. We couldn't even look at her without fearing her wrath. I was filled with regret, but I really only rescued her because I wanted her fat son. I made a conscious decision to completely ignore her other than providing her with food and water (because even skinny bitches need to eat/drink). And then one day, three months into our relationship, she greeted me at the door with the cutest little mew, and her tail was straight up and twitching and it twitched more at the very sound of my voice. She had fallen in love, you see. Sure, she likes the other family members okay, but she acts like the sun rises and sets on my very presence (which...it does). She tries to kiss me and she comes running from wherever she is in the house if she hears me sit on the couch or chair because she knows it's an opportunity to climb in my lap and purr. And all because I ignored her. Tell Henry there is a lesson in there somewhere but that he should not try it with human girls.
It's like they have special radar for people who dislike them. Then they become feline Velcro. They're cute, but I don't understand them. We're sticking with dogs.
Come to think of it, my dog seems to gravitate toward people who cannot stand to have their bare knees and feet licked. She licks them the most. Maybe they're not so different from cats after all....
Gee, she kinda looks like my old cat, you know...Jack. Someone was going to paint a picture of Jack, but may have forgotten? Lost interest? Has a busy life? Is not inspired by the personality and charms of Jack?
I think I must be a cat.
LOVE this post.
Ha! MissusB, I sent you an email. Your picture is in progress!
This is why I'm a dog person. My dog knows how to fake it.
Yeah. We have the same cat. We adopted her in October, and she hissed at me for two months. As soon as I started ignoring her, she lightened up. Oh...and not sharing my London Broil one night really made her love me.
reading about your cat instantly makes me laugh until I can't breathe....that being said for most cats you can't simply lay and have a staring contest with them because to them it is a challenge over who's space is being occupied. Try blinking reallly slowly to show that you're not a threat( I know this is hard considering it also gives them ample time to claw your face with you eyes closed......)
Yep, this exactly describes the monster I grew up with. I loved him very deeply and he tolerated me, but LOVED my mother (who basically hated the very idea of pets). My poor father, an animal lover, was dirt to Midnight. Despite all of this, he was a very smart cat, knew a bunch of words, how to open doors, etc.
My tip for a cuddly cat: dumb. Our current two are dumb as rocks (I'm not sure they even know their names) and LOVE US SO MUCH OMG I LOVE YOU BE MY BEST FRIEND HAVE YOU SEEN ME I LOVE YOU nap I'M READY FOR MORE LOVE OH MY GOSH IS THAT SOMETHING DANGLY nap HI I LOVE YOU
Yes. My dad has a cat, Roy. He always bite the hair scalp as if it's a meal. And love the underarm. Haha. I realised the cat went crazy during their intimate season, which we lock him up :)
That cat definitely looks like the big boss..Someone once told me that dogs have owners and cats have staff. So true!
beautiful kitten, too, have six cats, two black, but wszytskie are girls and I have a problem with a balanced
Save this post. This advice is going to be great for Henry when it comes to girls.
"Me: Not as much as Dad, though. Because I don't hate her. But I do express my displeasure with her, frequently. That keeps her interested. I'm telling you, if you're more aloof she'll come around.
Henry: Fine. I don't think I like her anymore, anyway.
Me: Keep talking like that and she's going to fall in love, son."
Unfortunately, this doesn't always apply only to cats. Henry may find similar dymnamics at work with teenage girls.