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Let's Panic: The Book!

Order your copy today!

How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant
who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain,
and Finally Turn You
into a Worthwhile
Human Being.

Written by Alice Bradley and Eden Kennedy

Some Books
I'm In...

Sleep Is
For The Weak

Chicago Review Press

Home - Middle Row

Let's Panic

The site that inspired the book!

At LET'S PANIC ABOUT BABIES, Eden Kennedy and I share our hard-won wisdom and tell you exactly what to think and feel and do, whether you're about to have a baby or already did and don't know what to do with it. → 


A conversation about the cat that has nothing to do with her weight

Henry: The cat hates me. She's always biting and swatting.
Me: It's not personal. She's a cat. Cats are nuts. They hate it when you show too much affection.

Henry: I wasn't even touching her. I was looking at her.
Me: Yes, but with love, I bet. That's your first mistake.
Henry: I was lying there, and she reached over and swatted my face.
Me: You were gazing right at her, right? With love? WITH LOVE? Confess.
Henry: You're weird.
Me: Listen to me. With this cat, the more you like her, the less she likes you.
Henry: She loves Dad.
Me: Because he deeply, deeply dislikes her. And she can't get enough of it. She's all over him the minute he walks in the door. Do you need more proof that she is utterly bananas?

Henry: She's nice to you, too.
Me: Not as much as Dad, though. Because I don't hate her. But I do express my displeasure with her, frequently. That keeps her interested. I'm telling you, if you're more aloof she'll come around.
Henry: Fine. I don't think I like her anymore, anyway.
Me: Keep talking like that and she's going to fall in love, son.


Building my tiny empire

How great are all of you, sharing in my Tic Tac box obsession? I knew I was surrounded by a community of fellow weirdos. I just didn't know how weird.

And now I know. Deeply, deeply weird. You are all invited into my blanket fort.

Secondly, I have a couple of business announcements. Behold!

The Practice of Writing is almost but not quite full, so I need to close registration in the next few days. If you want to sign up, now's your chance!

Also, I am officially hanging out my shingle as a writing coach. If you're serious about your writing and could use one-on-one help with your manuscript, stories, essays, poetry, or blog, here's more information.

(I'm really excited about this. I've been unofficially coaching a handful of students, and I love it more than I love Orange Tic Tacs.)

Other ideas I'm tossing around for the future: a mini-Practice of Writing course (maybe a week long?), as well as workshops for smaller groups. If you have any thoughts on what you'd like to see offered, what questions you need answered, what needs I can fulfill, speak up!


Or maybe I was just super weird

Reminder: registration for The Practice of Writing is still open!

On Sunday Henry had to join me for errands. Our expedition entailed walking a total of maybe ten blocks, round trip, but some of us do not wish to experience the out-of-doors on what is supposed to be a relaxing Sunday when one wishes only to simultaneously play Minecraft and listen to Minecraft songs. Some of us, however, don't feel like going out alone to buy someone else underwear and socks only to return home and find out that some of us purchased the terrible kind. So some of us HAD TO GO.

There was yelling. Then I said I'd buy him gum and possibly a pack of Magic Cards if he was particularly great (translated by Henry: definitely Magic Cards, multiple packs, get your pants on before she changes her mind).

Out we went, and after finding the acceptable varieties of both underwear and sock, Henry decided he wanted Tic Tacs. I never buy Tic Tacs, I don't think about them, but while he was mulling over the flavors at the checkout counter I was filled with nostalgia: not for the candy, but the packaging.

When I was little, I had a thing for empty Tic Tac boxes. My mom bought the spearmint flavor, which was too intense for my delicate girl-mouth, but whenever I found an empty box I snatched it. I'd take it up to my bathroom, where I would spend far too long than is healthy playing. With the Tic Tac box.

First I had to remove all the labels, because duh. And then scrub it until the glue came off. But carefully, because you didn't want to scratch the box. Without the labels, I found the entire thing to be perfect. It satisfied me in ways I can't explain. That hinge! Did I open and close it, then open and close it some more? Why, yes. Yes I did.

And what did I do my beloved Tic Tac box, after I regarded its perfection? Well! I filled it with either 1) water, 2) shampoo, 3) a sludgy mix of water and talcum powder, or 4) Jean Nate After-Bath Splash. And then I poured it out, and filled it up again. If I had glitter, you can be sure as hell the glitter got in there. On one particularly heady occasion, I nabbed some food coloring and filled a couple of tic-tac boxes with various shades of tinted water. They were too beautiful to be disturbed, so I hid them under the sink for a number of years. I took them out on special occasions and held them up to the light.

It's not like I didn't have an entire room filled with toys.  But they couldn't equal the perfection of the Tic Tac box. Which, if I'm going to be honest, I'm still itching to grab, although I don't know why. What would I do with it? I don't even own any Jean Nate!

I was going to tell Henry this story while we were walking home, but he already worries about me. And now I'm telling you. But you understand, right? Maybe you're a little concerned, but surely you had something similar? Come on, now.


The Practice of Writing #3: Registration is now open! (Update: RE-opened)

UPDATE: I mistakenly set up the course registration to end...yesterday. Whoopsies. If you tried to register and it told you registration was over, you have my apologies. Try again--it will work now.

For THIS one, I've joined forces with Ruzuku, an online learning platform, to host the course (and, I hope, other kinds of courses, down the line). The great thing about Ruzuku is...well, there are all kinds of great things. Their support frees me of numerous technical headaches and allows me to focus on the lessons and my students (i.e. the only things that matter). Plus the course just looks better; it's better organized, thanks to their system, and there's a discussion forum for each lesson. And I can keep track of each students' progress. It's great.

I've updated the course information page, so check it out, if you're interested. If you click on the enrollment link it will bring you over to the Ruzuku registration page. Payment is still through PayPal. Please note that the course price is now $150. Unlike the previous iterations, registration is now limited. I've been getting huge groups, which is great, but I want to be able to give more personalized support, so I need to keep the size a bit more manageable. If you're interested, I recommend signing up as soon as you can!

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