38 is the new 37.

So I turned 38 on Monday, which was also Memorial Day, so I got to pretend that everyone had the day off because of me. The parades? All about me. Take that, honored war dead!

Generally I enjoy my birthday (except for the year that Phil Hartmann was murdered--thanks for ruining my birthday, guys), but this year ranked among the best birthdays so far.

I started my day with a lesson in anatomy.

It seems that I am not much more than a bag of gastric juices, which explains much. And I am filled with bubbles, which clears up some things as well. I also have a fairly undersized brain. Or an oversized head. At any rate, it was educational.Thank you, Henry!

We had a Memorial Day barbecue, which meant that Scott got to spend the day frantically grilling. I'm sure he loved it, although I couldn't ask him because he was too busy cursing under his breath.

Only some people knew that it was also a day to celebrate ME ME ME and everything I stand for. Then the cake came out and those people had to admit that they didn't know it was my birthday, and I stared at them in shock before bursting into tears and throwing my cake on the lawn. Wheee!

Because I was busy sucking down sangria and traumatizing acquaintances, I didn't take many pictures.

Here are some children wreaking havoc on my new birdbath. Damn kids!

My other present was that for the first time in MONTHS, our dog didn't tear ass out of the yard the first chance he got. Charlie's been hell-bent on escaping ever since the temperature rose above 40. Mind you, we're all fenced in, but Charlie can flatten himself and squeeze through fist-sized holes, because he is actually a rat. Did I mention that we found him in a gutter in Tijuana? I knew that was a mistake.

Anyway, if you grill enough meats, your dog will stay put. And then pass out.

While the dog snoozed, the kids ran around in circles, crammed full of juice and hot dogs, spraying each other with the hose. By some birthday/Memorial Day miracle, they all lived to enjoy the birthday cake.

I know I've griped about suburbia, but I must say, in the past few months I have been happier than ever to live here. There's space, and birds, and neighbors who jump the fence to come hang out with you. This is a good place to be.

Comments

[Rivetergirl]

Happy Finslippy Day to you! I wondered why all the folks in the local parade were all bershon!

[Ratphooey]

Happy birthday!

I'm so glad that 38 is the new 37 for more than just me.

[lizpenn]

Happy 38! That was a great year for me, hope it is for you too.

I love that kid with his head sticking out of the orange tube! Is that Henry?

[Pete Dunn]

Next year I'll have to remember to put flowers and a tiny American flag on your grave.

[Sarah]

Happy Alice Day! I'm glad it was fun and you had good weather for it. And yeah, suburbia's pretty nice in it's own little quiet ways, isn't it?

(Um, and creepy comment, Pete!)

[Angel]

Happy belated Birthday!

I got to prove to my kids I had a brain by showing them an MRI lol.

[morgan]

um, *I* turned 38 on memorial day and have always said the parades and the day off are all about ME ME ME. and now there are two of us.

see ya next year.

[Jane]

Happy Birthday! Sounds like a great way to spend it.

[slouching mom]

That bile-filled picture is EXACTLY why I like Henry so.

Happy Birthday.

[Mauigirl52]

Happy birthday Alice! I'm glad you had a great day! Great pictures!

[Melinda]

38 totally rocks. I turned 38 in March and it has been a really good year so far. Glad you're enjoying it too. Happy Birthday!

[Amanda Crabmom]

God, Finslippy, we really do lead the same lives. Only you are in Nj and I am in WY. And I am a short South African girl. The point is, both of us engaged in Mem Day festivities involving those blue tube things that children like to play in.

Happy birthday. I celebrate you, you, you, and I think your suburban zone looks damn nice. In summer, it's our turn to laugh a loud, demented, schadenfreude-filled chuckle at all of our urban hispter friends whom we occasionally envy. But not in summer, suckers.

[kelly]

Happy Birthday!! Looks like it was a super fun day, one much deserved.

[Tracy27]

At first I read "bubbles" as "bubbies" and thought, well, that's an interesting spelling variation of boobies. Then I realized that of course you wouldn't teach him that sort of filthy slang but rather would encourage him to use the proper word, tits.

Oh, and happy belated birthday! It's great that the 'burbs are treating you better these days.

[Lisa Milton]

Happy birthday. Love the pictures.

Don't tell anybody, but suburbia has its perks.

[Dawn]

So glad to hear you're happier about the move.

And Happy Alice Day!

[Jessie]

Happy Birthday!

[alice]

Oh lord, "tits" made me laugh out loud.

[shy me]

Happy b-day!

Looks like you've got some good bone density going on there!

[FENICLE]

At least he drew you a heart & a brain! But you should have asked where the girl parts were??

Your suburbia looks very peaceful.

[karen]

I love that you're full of bubbles - what a great thing to know!

[Nell]

There are worse things to be full of than bubbles, happy birthday!

[elaine]

get. out.

my birthday was on memorial day this year too (although 42, not 38). i always relished the fact that i got a three day weekend almost every year for my birthday and now i find out i have to share the parades and shit? damn.

anyway, glad you had a good day-it was wonderful here in vermont too.

[Amy]

Hah! Love the picture of you. Happy belated birthday! My birthday was the 20th and, on the 19th, we had friends over for a Pinot Party. Little did they know, until they were trapped there and I was 3 or 4 pinots into my evening, that they were at my birthday party as well! Hah! I was going to keep it to myself and not make a big deal out of it. But the pinot made me spill the beans. :)

[Amy]

Hah! Love the picture of you. Happy belated birthday! My birthday was the 20th and, on the 19th, we had friends over for a Pinot Party. Little did they know, until they were trapped there and I was 3 or 4 pinots into my evening, that they were at my birthday party as well! Hah! I was going to keep it to myself and not make a big deal out of it. But the pinot made me spill the beans. :)