Irreverent. Curious. Vaginas.
July 27, 2009Our good friend David Farley recently held a launch party for his book An Irreverent Curiosity. The book is about Farley's adventures in and around Calcata, Italy, a bizarre village famous for once housing a holy relic: the foreskin of Jesus. In the mid-80s, the Holy Foreskin mysteriously disappeared. Farley spent a year in Italy searching for the story behind its disappearance. (It's an amazing book, by the way. It tore me away from Infinite Jest, which is not easy to do these days.)
Anyway. Back to the party! Farley and his wife Jessie—who, incidentally, was my friend way before Farley entered the scene—are friendly with Paulina Porizkova, the supermodel/writer/lovely human being, and she was also at the party. If you've been reading Finslippy for any length of time, you might remember my mentioning that Paulina's mom had been one of my midwives and had, in fact, delivered Henry. The last time I met Paulina, a few years ago, I shared this information with her. Then I got tongue-tied and couldn't think of anything else to talk about, so I backed away, waving and apologizing.
This time I felt a little more confident. Maybe it was all the wine? Hard to say. I suggested to Scott that we talk to her, and he turned this beautiful shade of lavender-gray. I couldn’t hear what he was saying but his mouth was moving frantically. I leaned in. He seemed to be pleading with me not to make him go over there.
"Aw," I said. "You're adorable! Let's go—I'll ask her if I can get her picture with you."
"No no no no," he whisper-shrieked. So cute!
"Oh, come now. At least we can say hello! Remember, her mom was my midwife. It's like we're related."
"I am not talking to Paulina. I had her poster on my bedroom wall. I… no. I will not talk to her."
But we were pushed inexorably forward by the party-tide, and soon we were abutting her circle. Then Paulina turned to us. And said hello.
Before I knew what I was doing I was reminding her that her mother had delivered my son Henry, and then I was showing her my iPhone pictures of Henry, and she was appreciating the pictures in a way that someone who has kids knows they're supposed to do. Scott was smiling and smiling some more. Also waving. But at least not apologizing, which I thought was a step forward for us as a couple. We're learning to socialize! It's never too late, kids!
I decided I was going to regale her with our favorite midwife story, which was when Scott accompanied me to a visit and I complained of yeast infections and Paulina's mom directed me never to wash my vagina with soap. (It was funny at the time.) (You had to be there.) As I was talking I realized that in order to communicate the hilarity of this story, which was not all that funny in the retelling of it, I had to 1) impersonate Paulina's mother, and 2) use the word "vagina" an awful lot. And then I became increasingly self-conscious at how much I was saying "vagina" and how the Czech/Swedish/Vampire accent I was affecting sounded a lot like I was just imitating Paulina, and not in a flattering way. I was horrified for me. Paulina looked concerned, but to her credit, she was not scanning the room for possible exits. I don't think Scott noticed what was happening, because while I yammered on he was sketching Paulina on a napkin.
To my credit, I ended the story quickly and also kept myself from telling Paulina how many stitches her mom had put in my hoo-ha. (That's polite code for "vagina.") Actually I never would have done that, because I don't really know. Maybe Paulina knew? Damn it, I should have asked her.
Miraculously, our new best friend managed to steer the conversation over to a more socially acceptable subject, for which I will be forever grateful. For the next twenty minutes or so we talked about our favorite books. The specific question she asked, which I think is kind of brilliant as a party conversation-topic-when-the-other-people-are-definitely-insane, is a three-parter. 1)What's the book you wish you had written? 2) What book do you read when you want something comforting and familiar? And 3) What book do you think everyone should read?
In response, Scott squeaked something about Noam Chomsky, and then he pulled his shirt over his head and flailed his arms about, shouting, "I'm a headless robot!" Or was that something Henry did this morning? At any rate, Noam Chomsky was mentioned. My responses were 1) To the Lighthouse, because I wanted to impress Paulina, 2) Anything by Laurie Colwin, because it's the truth, and 3) The Master and Margarita, because I wanted to impress Paulina. I'm going to have to think about what my real answers to 1 and 3 would be. The impressing-Paulina choices weren't far off, I think. I'm just glad I didn't say "The Big Book of Vaginas!" or "O, Vagina" or something equally off-kilter.
So. What would your books be?
Reader Comments (107)
2. A Prayer for Owen Meany, Animal Dreams, Good-bye Without Leaving/Happy All the Time/Home Cooking, Paris to the Moon. Also Robert Parker mysteries. And mail-order catalogs. Oh jeez and Child of My Heart by Alice McDermott. That could be (1) or (2).
3. I don't really know about this one. I thought it was great when New York had Native Speaker as its city-wide reading project, but that's because it's both well-written and sociologically unusual, not because I think it's the one book everyone should read. My husband thinks everyone should read The Metaphysical Club, but I didn't get past page 13 (sorry, Louis) so I can't really claim to think it's a universal maxim. OK. I'm going to say Lonesome Dove. And I defend my response with the observation that I don't know anyone who didn't love it, and it's good to know you can love to read like that.
My answer to # 2 is the same as your answer to # 2! I adore Laurie Colwin!
You rock.
I ask in all seriousness.
Thank you. That is all.
I'm going to have to think about these questions. I began Infinite Jest this summer and at 100 pages in my husband made the mistake of saying that he felt I was far enough into it that it wouldn't meet the Vanity Fair fate (I've started that book a million times, brought it on trips, but a new edition and still never gotten past a chapter or two).
Obviously that was the kiss of death. Only picked it up once since then.
But, the family was begging me to finally read all the Harry Potters, so I've been having a summer like I remember from long, long ago, reading while eating, reading while reading the paper, reading while walking up to get the laundry... I've finished 3 and 4 (next step, remembering titles rather than numbers) and am halfway through 5. So it's time to get off the internet and knock off another hundred (FOOTNOTE FREE) pages.
1. To Kill a Mockingbird2. Bill Bryson's entire canon. The Narnia series.3. The Brothers K by David James Duncan; Real Food by Nina Planck
(2) Through the Looking Glass (and What Alice Found There); American Gods (by Neil Gaiman); anything by J.D. Salinger or William Saroyan
(3) This isn't technically a book, but I think everyone should read "Tracy's Tiger", a short piece by William Saroyan. It is one of my favorite pieces of writing ever, period.
1. The Pillars of the Earth
2. I don't reread books either, but I think A Wrinkle in Time fits the bill.
3. Hmmmm. This is a big responsibility. It has to be really GOOD, and it has to change a perspective, or teach something, or make some sort of DIFFERENCE. Well, there you have it: To Kill a Mockingbird.
Thanks for letting me play along!
p.s. Vagina.
Ok, some other favorites:
- The Giver- Traveling Mercies
To answer your questions:1. Ulysses by James Joyce but only because it's so damn convoluted it'd make me look interesting.2. Breakfast of Champions by Kurt Vonnegut Jr.3. James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl
I am comforted by Pride and Prejudice
Everyone should read Cloudstreet.