Our New Jersey house is officially sold. Hallelujah.
We were supposed to close on the house a few days after our move, but there were problems with the lender. It took a month to get a new closing date, and over the course of that month we were pretty sure that 1) the deal would never go through and 2) we would have to get back on the market, the horrifying market, and 3) we were setting ourselves up for financial ruin and we would die in the gutter.
I was going to detail for you all that went on, but every time I try I become either nauseated, or sleepy, or both. Also I would have to go into specifics so that you could fully understand the horror, and then you'd get bored and impatient and you'd wander off to search for baby-animal videos. I would like to do that now, come to think of it. Let's all check out Cute Things Falling Asleep.
Aaaand we're back. So the important part of the story is that everything worked out in the end. Our buyers have the house and we have our money. It's less money than we would have had at any other time in financial history, but whatever. We've got fistfuls of equity, and we're going to blow it all on hats. And by "hats" I mean "long-term, low-risk investments." (Also: hats.)