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Let's Panic: The Book!

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How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant
who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain,
and Finally Turn You
into a Worthwhile
Human Being.

Written by Alice Bradley and Eden Kennedy

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Let's Panic

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At LET'S PANIC ABOUT BABIES, Eden Kennedy and I share our hard-won wisdom and tell you exactly what to think and feel and do, whether you're about to have a baby or already did and don't know what to do with it.

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« What every single conversation is like around here. | Main | Notable Moments in Exceptional Parenting, part 64 »
Thursday
Jan152009

All right, winter, we GET IT.

I have not blogged in a week, and this is because all I can think about is contained in three words: I am cold.

No, wait, here are a few more: it is cold here. That's four words! And: I wish I had an extra sweater right now. 9 words! These are really adding up. I apologize for not writing all this sooner.

I have had just about enough of January. Really, January. You made your point. "I can make you cold," you said, and it's not like any of us disagreed with you. But then you had to go and freeze everything. You vindictive whore.

My skin is cracking from the cold. Every time I absentmindedly scratch my shin, my fingers come back all bloody. Which is really alarming when you're chatting with your therapist. Why is my leg bleeding, you ask? No, I'm not cutting myself with an Exacto knife for fun, it's just that winter is trying to kill me. Why are you looking at me like that? What are you writing in your little notepad?

So, as long as I'm here, let's see... doo dee doo. Oh yes! My son might be some kind of math genius. He's been mocking the kindergarten work they give him, and I gave him a first grade workbook and he blew right through it. I've been trying to come up with number sequences that he can fill in, see if I can't challenge him a bit, considering he's only in school for two hours fifty minutes and his homework takes approximately five minutes for him to complete. I couldn't come up with one that would stump him, until I gave him the ol' Fibonacci sequence and was all, FILL THAT IN, SMARTYPANTS. This also stumped my husband. Not that that's saying much, because Scott has math anxiety when it's time to compute a tip. But still! I predict that someday, my son will figure out tips with no problem. Maybe he can even do my taxes! I knew I wouldn't regret having children.

Reader Comments (58)

I have eczema, and even living in California, winter weather makes my skin SCREAMMMMM. Also, congratulations on birthing a wunderkind! I always wished that I was good at math.
January 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnnie
Good Gracious...not only am I cold, but all week I have not wanted to leave my house. I am starting to feel like some sort of recluse. I did notice for the 1st time tonight that it was a little lighter at 4:30 than last week. Hip Hip Horray. I am not a math genius and I didn't know what Fibonacci numbers were until I followed the link. Nice. It is sad when grade school kids, know more than I do.
January 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShawn S.
I'm glad that I'm not the only one with the bloody winter legs syndrome. My gosh, even my furry dog is cold.
January 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVictoria R
Love your blog! Found you by way of Navel Grazing and found out your a contributor to Something Cleverish. How awesome!
January 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBustie McGoo
I swear the only thing that helps my skin during crazy weather cold or hot is mineral oil! Right out of the shower while still wet, put it all over and towel off. It's the only thing that makes my skin feel like normal skin.
January 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDee
I feel you on the bloody legs. I'm convinced I'm developing chilblains, a malady I once thought was confined to Louisa May Alcott and Laura Ingalls Wilder novels. And re math: consider yourself lucky with your resident genius. My sweet boy has major subtraction anxiety, and it's not pretty.
January 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPaige
I feel you on the bloody legs. I'm convinced I'm developing chilblains, a malady I once thought was confined to Louisa May Alcott and Laura Ingalls Wilder novels. And re math: consider yourself lucky with your resident genius. My sweet boy has major subtraction anxiety, and it's not pretty.
January 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPaige
The only reason I agreed to have children with Brian was on the hope they would geta) his math geneb) his language genec)his skinny geneMy fingers are still crossed.
January 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLooky Mom

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