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Let's Panic: The Book!

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How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant
who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain,
and Finally Turn You
into a Worthwhile
Human Being.

Written by Alice Bradley and Eden Kennedy

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Sleep Is
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Chicago Review Press

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Let's Panic

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At LET'S PANIC ABOUT BABIES, Eden Kennedy and I share our hard-won wisdom and tell you exactly what to think and feel and do, whether you're about to have a baby or already did and don't know what to do with it. → 

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Signs that I need to get out more

Actual dreams that I had in the last few days:

1. I was at the supermarket.

2. I put shampoo on my hair before wetting it. Weird!

3. That dream above, about the supermarket? That was it. The whole thing. I bought chicken.

4. And salad.

5. I was writing an email. I can't remember to whom.

6. I was sitting around with Scott, and we both realized we were in a dream, and I said we should do something crazy. We couldn't come up with anything. And then I fell asleep. In my dream.

Topics that I've considered addressing in my next post:

1. My kitty cat sure is getting fat!

2. Uh…

3. Really. She's fat.

4. Uh, Easter?

5. Well, Scott told me his work might dry up soon, and I was hyperventilating into paper bags for a while, but then he started a new project. So. Never mind.

6. If there's a cheese I dislike out there, I'll tell you, I haven't yet found it. Go, cheese.

Wake me when it's April. What are you people doing? Anything good?

Reader Comments (91)

I'm watching "Clean House" and eating Extra Crunchy Jif on saltines while my daughter takes her nap. My life is so exciting.
March 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth
Dream (last night): I was loading extra-thick red rubber washers into a u-shaped channel carved into a block of obsidian.

Reality: I'm looking out the window of the cartoon cottage (aka my office) at the chives in the garden, thinking that they might be big enough to eat in three weeks. Depends on the weather.
March 19, 2008 | Unregistered Commentercartoongoddess
When I was a cashier at a restaurant, I frequently had dreams that I was ringing up checks. Over and over and over, all night. What am I up to? Hyperventilating over the ever changing plans surrounding our move to Germany.
March 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKellyr2
No, you know you need to get out more when you therapist tells you that you need to get out more. Kind of like a prescription. Isn't that pathetic? Not that I'm talking about myself, or anything.

Right now I'm sitting in the car, in the rain (I feel like I'm in a song) waiting for it to be time to pick up Bunker Monkey from preschool, listening to Find Another You (Mayer) on iPod, and thinking about a boy :). All in all, not the worst way to spend an hour (you'd agree if you knew the boy).

Oh, and I just had some Thai takeout and am debating getting some Ben and Jerry's (there's a shop on the corner). But probably not. Oh well, nothing's perfect.
March 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAstrogirl
My husband and I were recently invited to watch Lost with some other couples on Thursday nights, but we are luddites and don't have a television, so we've never watched Lost. Our lives now consist of work, watching Lost on the laptop, eating granola bars while watching Lost on the laptop, skipping going to the gym so we can watch more Lost on the laptop, and sometimes sleeping, but never enough.

It's not much of a stretch, then, that all my dreams lately have been related to Lost.

Or that my pants are a wee bit snug thanks to all those granola bars and all that gym skipping.
March 19, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermarymuses
A couple of weeks ago, when I REALLY needed to get a good night's sleep before getting up at 3AM (yes, you read that right--3) to catch a 6AM flight, I thought I did everything right. I didn't nap, I took Tylenol PM at 6:30PM so I could fall asleep, I went to bed early. And I was there FOREVER before I finally fell asleep, and once I DID fall asleep, I had nightmares about work. Which isn't all that exciting or interesting, but it WASN'T EVEN MY WORK--I actually had a nightmare about the work my coworker was doing. How sad is that? What does that say about my psyche?

As for interesting things going on right now. . . hmmm. I did 30 push-ups in a row this morning (I think I did 92 altogether, from 4 different sets). Granted, all but 14 were on my knees. Regular push-ups (from the toes) are HARD, did you know that?
March 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTara
It's good to know there are other homebodies out there.

I'm learning to knit, but it's not going too well.
March 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJohn
Hi Alice,

What is Henry's middle name? What are some girl names that you like? I'm on a name-kick, and nowhere near baby-time.
March 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLaura
I'm in a horribly ironic situation where I have lots of crazy things to talk about since my mother-in-law is in town, but can't blog about any of it due to potential CPS involvement. Right now she's taking the kids (ages 3 and under) outside to find some scorpions to play with. Earlier she got a phone call on her cell phone and let some f-bombs slip while discussing politics. When I asked her who it was she said it was a wrong number. And so on. I'm thinking about heading upstairs to a corner of my closet with a bottle of wine.

Unlike you, however, I am not a homebody. I leave the house fully once a month. (That's a LOT, right?)
March 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer (Et Tu?)
The even sadder thing? I can't even remember any dreams (interesting or otherwise) for quite a while! Sigh, not even that to look forward to! It is very rainy and dreary here in West Haven, CT today. Is it raining in NJ today? (At least its not snow) LOL I love the comment about wasting corporate money! I have a feeling a lot of us working moms are as we pine away for our darling babies during the drudgery of the work day....
March 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJaelyn RedWolf
I'm pregnant, so my life consists of sleeping. And more sleeping. Oh! And making sure there are clean sheets on the bed at all times because I am addicted to the smell of our laundry detergent.

Also what am I doing right now? Obsessing over our kitchen floors. Our dogs are being stubborn about using the bathroom outside, so I am mopping the floor every. day. Thank god no dreams about that yet, but I bet it will happen.
March 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTiffany
Outing myself to announce that I don't actually like cheese. Apparently,when I was a toddler I told my mother that cheese was "too tasty"

But excitement, we do have excitement. Umm. Grocery shopping, that's exciting, right? And laundry, ten loads of laundry from the giant vomit-festival we had this weekend. Nothing as exciting as the smell of old vomit laundry.

On second thought my life isn't that exciting, sorry.
March 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJocelyne
My son's dream from last night:

"I dreamed I was at school and we went into the 1st graders class and we danced the Hot Dog Hokey Pokey!"

Maybe you could try dancing that one next time you are stuck for something in dreamland.
March 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterVelma
You should host the boring Olympics, but I warn you, I will be a formidable opponent.

1) I got ridiculously excited about getting screens on my windows. SCREENS!

2) I can't go on vacation until November. Until then it's just the daily grind.

3) I clean my house once a week, keep my nails trimmed, and call my parents on Tuesdays.

Seriously...are you falling asleep yet? I bore me!
March 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Window Seat
You know why you're having the shampoo with no water dream, right? It's that hotel commercial where the guy is telling his wife about how the hotel gave him 2 bottles of shampoo and then he squeezes them directly onto his head while he's fully dressed and looking in the hotel room mirror. It makes my scalp itch every time he does it. Bleargh.

The most exciting thing I did all week was go to a St. Patty's party for dogs. It was actually a lot of fun and there was free beer so, score! In terms of being a big adventure, though, it was 3 blocks from my house and I was home by 7:45pm.
March 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKizz
Nope, nothing good. At all.
March 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTammy
When you fall asleep in your dream, that can't be a good sign. Right? I don't usually remember my dreams. I'm sad about that.
March 19, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersizzle
I spent the morning cleaning out my e-mail inbox. I was on vacation last week and returned to more than 1,000 e-mails. A total of 17 of those e-mails were real. The other 983 were spam that had slipped through my spam filter. Try your best not to be jealous.

As far as dreams are concerned, I had one the other night that I was back in high school. Toward the end of the dream, I turned to my faceless friend and said, "High school boys are so stupid!" and my friend nodded her head and said, "You are very wise." I woke up feeling confident, the way I imagine Yoda would feel.
March 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterErin
I so get the cheese thing. Additionally, I appreciate the little cheese cheer (WAY better than Hillshire Farms trying to make me think there's something really exciting about "meat.") Also, you might be interested in knowing that Mimi Smartypants ( signed off today by noting that she has "extra cheese."
March 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMindee
I always dream about trying to put my contacts in, only they're as large as dinner plates.
March 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPickles & Dimes
In regards to 6; falling asleep in the dream... You will probably think I'm completely nuts, but have you ever heard of lucid dreaming?( used to have really awfull nightmares for months on end, sometimes up to four a night.Nothing helped in getting rid of them until a friend of mine gave me a book about controlling your dream.It helped me control my bad dreams, so with a little excercise it can also help you spice up your dreamlife.Think of all the fun things you could do you can not do in real life!But I have to admit, I have had several lucid dreams, but I haven't mastered the art of staying lucid.It's just long enough to realize "hey I'm dreaming" and then after a miute it is gone.

March 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDanny
Oh, the shampoo-dry-hair nightmare. Runner up only to the pajamas-test-school-day dream on the list of It-Could-Happen-Please-God-No dreams.

I have been busy warning people about the evilness that is Peeps.

Word on the street is that they will steal your eye and look at you with your own eye.
March 19, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteranne nahm
Last night, in my dreams, I was borrowing money from my cheapskate cousin. He let me borrow the money after I agreed to 50% interest! Did I mention I was borrowing money to buy cocktails? no? hmm.. FYI I agreed to his terms. Apparently I needed to keep the parteeee going.
March 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMelodie
Thinking about buying a new diaper bag. Don't feel like driving to Target. Wishing we had cheese.
March 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMrs. Gregorton
Oh lord, I always dream about running errands. Probably a sign that it's time to take a vacation.
March 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKathy

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