Seriously, though, they're cute.
November 17, 2008Heather B. came over for a pre-Ikea visit the other day. In honor of her visit, I baked awful pumpkin muffins and made her eat one. I'm usually a good baker, I swear, but these were just weird. I ate two.
I thought for sure that Henry would be all over Heather, but lately he's been shy around the ladies, and since Scott was working from home, he stayed upstairs and convinced Scott to complete some Star Wars Mad Libs with him. ("Then Darth POOP raised his light TOILET and FARTED Obi Wan MOMMY.") So we had the morning to ourselves, and while attempting to digest my alarmingly dense muffins, we had a lovely chat about Heather's career, her hopes and dreams, her travels, her radiant youth, etc.
As for me, I talked about my pets. Heather seemed a bit...concerned.
Heather: I think you might be in this house a little too much.
Me: Look, Charlie thinks he's going to get some muffin. He's looking at me like, "I won't think they're gross! Promise!"
Heather: Have you considered getting an office job?
Me: The problem is, I don't like people, or when I have to do stuff. So that sort of rules out offices.
Heather: You could volunteer! That would get you out!
Me: Heh, the cat's sitting at the table. Like she's people! No, kitty, you're not getting any muffin. Stop looking at me like that. Okay, maybe a little piece.
Heather: This is just sad.
Me: You know, I made up two different voices for my dog, but no voices for the cat. I don't know why that is. I just don't think she'd put up with me making up voices for her.
Weird, right? That that behavior would concern her? Youngsters! What do they know.
It occurred to me after she left that this is another reason why I need to move back to the city. Because right now these two are the only beings I have substantial conversations with throughout the day. If I'm going to devote my day to Writing, only Writing, I need to be able to occasional wander out of the house and see SOMEONE.
Sure, I could do this "office work" Heather suggests, but that always ends in tears and lawsuits, and also this is the only thing I'm any good at.
Meanwhile, you should see the cute thing my dog is doing right now. He's all curled up in the sun, getting warm! Like a furry, adorable reptile!
Reader Comments (48)
In fact, I have to lock two of them out of the house before a phone conference -- the talkative one and the one that likes to make the other two hiss.
We haven't given my cat any particular voice, but she DOES talk - most often to curse at the rest of us. :)
Thanks for the laugh!
She is pretty good at speaking her mind...maybe she has a point?
;)
How about an art class? Life drawing is always good when you don't like people. You get to laugh at them with their clothes off.
Yoga classes are good too, because you don't actually have to speak until after the class is over.
Seriously, Heather is right. If you'd like to change how you feel about going out, you need to start going out. The enjoyment will come in time. Get some fresh air, exercise and human contact and see what a difference it makes.
Wait - I already do that.
"The problem is, I don't like people, or when I have to do stuff."
Alice, the funniest story I had to share with Ian one day last week was that of the neighbour's kitten scampering into our house, only to run out again two minutes later followed by our cat with a thunderous look on its face!!1! He didn't laugh. I live ten minutes from London's glittering West End. It can happen to you anywhere.
Your adopted children in fur coats.
I made pumkin cookies and they also came out inedible. After i ate the entire batch I started to think: maybe it's the pumpkin?
Also, I've made up a voice for my IMAGINARY cat -- the one I'm hoping to get after I make enough room in the laundry room for the cat to poop in it. (Heh. Poop.)